Hope
by clair beaubien
Summary: Vin gets shot in the back and Nathan can't do anything to save him. When the bad guy comes back to finish the job, Vin prays to his mother to help him. She arranges a unique solution. Rated for violence and language. NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

It took Vin awhile to decide which was worse.

It was bad when the bullet in his spine moved and his legs went numb. If he was standing, he'd fall. If he was sleeping, he'd wake up in a panic that he couldn't move. It was bad when the bullet moved and sent him into such agonizing pain that sometimes he cried out.

Once he screamed.

The worst was that he'd lose control of his body, and there was nothing he could do but accept Nathan's help to get himself cleaned up. The worst was to see the helplessness in all his friends' eyes. Nothing they could do but watch him suffer, and guard him when he was helpless.

And wait to see if his legs would come back.

Now, as Vin left a painstakingly scrawled note for Chris on the bed in his room: _"sory Chris telll othurs goodbie"_ and on foot led his horse out of town just before dawn, Vin knew what was even worse than the pain and the numbness.

When there was no pain or numbness.

That was the worst.

Because it gave him hope.


	2. Chapter 2

A month before.

The day after the hanging, Vin decided to ride out of town for a while. He'd had enough of the trial and the verdict, the sentence and the execution. Let somebody else watch the town and the people and their possessions. He'd only told the truth, that was all. He'd seen Patrick McIntyre shoot George Wagner in the back. The boy even confessed to it - but he kept insisting he did it because his older brother told him to.

Then a slick lawyer crawled out of the woodwork with a different brother, and the short trial revolved mostly around whether he was guilty or only following orders, and should a boy be hung for only following orders?

Well, the jury figured he should.

And he did, with his brother and slick lawyer at the foot of the gallows to claim the body.

They left town the same night, now Vin intended to do the very same thing. He walked his horse to the boardwalk in front of the saloon where Chris and Buck played checkers.

"Headin' out?" Larabee asked.

"Yep. Sooner the better, gettin' too much a'this town in my craw. Gotta get away from it."

"Vin - you did the right thing." Buck told him again.

"I know." Vin said, though he shook his head. "Just don't feel right. He weren't no more'n JD's age. Just not right..." his voice trailed off.

"Watch your back...they can't have got very far."

"Yeah Chris. But all the time and trouble that lawyer took to make sure we reckoned the older brother guilty as sin, and the stack of Wanted Posters got his description on 'em, don't reckon he'll be showin' his face around here anytime soon...I'll be fine." he slipped the folded end of the reins back and forth through his fingers. That 'just not right' nagged at the back of his mind. "Seen the lawyer 'round about the livery...probably waitin' on his bank draft t'clear, hunh? Ezra gets him in a card game, he ain't gonna keep his pay real long anyway..." Vin tried to clear his thoughts, but the nagging kept on.

"I'll see you fellas. Won't be but a few days..." he swung up on his horse and turned to the closest way out of town. He passed the livery, and thought of the lawyer again as the nagging became a solid image.

_The lawyer was the other brother._

Damn, why didn't anybody see that before? Vin spun his horse back toward Chris and Buck. He was halfway there when the shot rang out and whalloped him in the back as hard as a sledge hammer. His horse reared as he yanked the reins, trying to stay in the saddle, and he pitched backward into the hardpacked street. The impact knocked the breath right out of him and it seemed to take forever before he could pull it back in.

Human feet and horses' hooves were the last things he saw.


	3. Chapter 3

Chris Larabee had the saloon to himself. From where he sat, he had a clear view of the swinging doors. He kept expecting Tanner to appear there, out of the glaring sunlight. Expected to see him give that tip of his head, up once, followed either by a quiet grin that he was happy to see Chris, or the grim expression that meant trouble was hard on their heels. He expected to see the lean tracker at any minute - still he was taken back a mile when the man himself sauntered through those doors.

Vin had his coat tucked under one arm. His eyes adjusted fast enough to the relative dimness, and when he saw Chris he tipped his head up once and gave an amused smile. Chris was on his feet in a movement.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Where the hell should I be?" Vin demanded back, not losing his grin.

"Up at Nathan's - dying."

"Dyin' hell. Buy me a drink." Vin walked okay, but he set himself very stiffly and precisely into Chris' chair, letting his coat hang over the arm. When he reached forward for the bottle of whiskey, Chris could see the stitches in his back through the tear in his shirt.

"Nathan just let you out of his clinic?"

"Takes more'n a bullet hole t'tie me to a bed Chris...you know that. Best get yourself another glass you want anymore a'this liquor..." Vin pulled the cork and poured himself a drink in Larabee's glass.

"So, I should expect Nathan to explode through these doors any second now?" Chris asked as he went to the bar and leaned over it to get himself another glass.

"S'pose so..." Vin filled Chris' glass as Larabee took another chair. "Said he was goin' t'the telegraph..." He tossed back his drink. "Other fellas still on the trail?"

"Yeah. Got a wire from Eagle Bend from Josiah. Caught the lawyer -"

"He's the brother ain't he? The one made his little brother kill that Wagner."

"Yeah he is. Shoulda seen it sooner." It sounded like an apology.

"Well, they got him now Chris. That's all y'can ask for I reckon."

"I reckon." Chris waited, but Vin said no more. "Well?"

"What?"

"What about you?" Chris asked, a little impatiently. "Nathan get that bullet out?"

"Oh that. Nah, he couldn't get it out. Tried real hard, I can tell you. Said he's afraid to try any harder. Stitched it up. Went out t'send them wires. Figured I'd take my chances n' head over here for a drink while I got the chance." He poured himself another drink and downed in a swallow.

"_The bullet is still in your spine?" _

"Yeah." Vin answered casually. "You gonna start drinkin', or do I get this bottle all to myself?"

"But what does Nathan say about it?"

"Them's the wires he's sendin'. Try to find a doctor 'r hospital near abouts took care a'somethin' like that afore. Seein' if they'd be willin' t'take me on." Vin shrugged.

"And if not?" There were a few things Chris Larabee disliked more than getting piecemeal information, but right now it was real close to the top of the list. Vin shrugged again.

"Guess it'll kill me." He said it calmly. So calmly that Chris waited for him to contradict the words with a grin or a shake of his head.

But he didn't.

"_What?"_

"Infection, blood loss, bullet could move...lotsa ways for it t'kill me." He saw the disbelief in Larabee's eyes. "Better'n hanging least ways."

Chris shoved his chair back and stood up again. "Where the hell's Nathan?" He demanded of no one in particular as he made for the street. "He's gotta try again, he can't just leave it like this..." But Vin caught him by the arm.

"No Chris. _Please_. I can't go through that again." For the first time since he came in the saloon, the first time since he'd been shot, the fear and pain were evident on Vin's face.

"What about laudanum? Or morphine?" Chris tried.

"No." Vin shook his head. "Said he needed me awake to say iffen I was losin' the feelin' in m'legs...I can't go through that again."

"Vin - we have to try _something._" Chris wasn't ready to just give up.

"Hurt like hellfire Chris." Vin kept his voice low and calm, though he was feeling anything but calm. "Feelin' him poke around my innards. Feeling him touchin' my backbone. I been through a lot in my life Larabee. Don't fancy goin' through _that _again." Chris didn't move. "Just sit down and have a drink with me...while we both still can..." M

M7*M7*M7

They heard Nathan long before he did explode through the saloon doors. "He don't touch me again." Vin warned over his shot glass, and Chris nodded.

"All right Vin. You get your scrawny carcass back up to my clinic 'fore I throw you over my shoulder and carry you up there. What d'you think you're doin'? Man in your condition, wandering all over creation..."

"Bullet'll kill me just as soon up there as down here." Vin pointed out quietly. "Might as well die happy." Nathan stopped his tirade and looked from one man to the other.

"You told him then?"

"Yep."

Nathan visibly sagged and took a chair at their table. "I did my best." he told Chris.

"Hey, y'don't owe him no explanation." Vin sniped. "Onliest one this matters to is me...I know y'done your best and I thank y'for it....here, have a drink on Chris." he slid Larabee's second glass over to Nathan and grinned at Chris again. Both men only stared grimly at him. "If that's the best y'can do fellas, I'm takin' the whiskey and finding better company..."

"Obstinate fool." Chris growled, taking his first glass back from Vin.

"Kept me alive all this time, reckon it's a good thing."


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks passed.

Vin found Chris at the Telegraph Office, getting an update on McIntyre's fate in Eagle Bend. "Good news?" Vin asked of the wire in Chris' hands.

"He's likely gonna hang."

"That's good news." Vin looked around them, a couple other people filled the room, and he gestured outside. "See y'minute? Got something I wanna give you."

"Sure..." Chris folded the telegram and tucked it in his pocket, then followed Vin out to the boardwalk.

"Here." Vin pulled a skeleton key out of his coat pocket and handed it to Chris.

"What's this?"

"Key to my room." Vin seemed uncomfortable talking about it. He kept his eyes on the wood beneath his feet. "It's been gettin' worse at night Chris. The time I can't get to the door is the time I'll need you t'have a key."

Chris held the key and stared at it, thinking on all the agonizing things it represented. Vin'd been spending his nights - and a lot of a lot of his days - in his room since being shot. It would likely be the place he died. "Let me camp out in your room then. I'll be closer."

"Chris - we been over this. I ain't gonna let this bullet kill me till I'm dead, and I don't aim t'have y'sittin' watch on me 'fore then either." His voice dropped again, and it took him a time or two to get the next words out. "Just need to know you'll be nearby in the mean time." and Chris put the key in his shirt pocket.

"I got your back Pard." He didn't think what he'd said till Vin snickered.

"Pfft - y'can _have _it."

M7*M7*M7*

Two weeks later.

Seven men stood up from a table at the saloon. Empty whiskey bottles, shot glasses, and beer mugs signaled the end of the card game. "Think y'coulda let me win one hand." Vin complained to Chris after the others were gone. "I'm an _invalid_, y'know." Chris wasn't buying it.

"Yeah, you're so invalided, I had to hide your horse to keep you from ridin' out to Nettie's again."

"It was just brave of me to do it in my conditiion?" Vin tried, and Chris gave him a look.

"Try again?"

And Vin huffed out his annoyance. "Damn sissy ridin' in a buggy. Ain't ridin' nowhere in a buggy."

"Then you ain't ridin' nowhere." Chris told him. "C'mon, you headed to the boardinghouse?"

"Yeah..."

It was starting again. Vin noticed it as he stepped out of the saloon. God, just let me get to my room. Don't want to fall down in front of everybody again. It was different this time and it scared Vin. The pain was clawing down his legs from his spine, and the numbness was starting to well up from his feet. One or the other was bad enough.

Not both.

_Please._

He concentrated on his feet and making them move without it being noticeable how hard it was becoming. Just another dozen yards or so, they'd be to the boardinghouse. Then to his room. Then he'd be okay because he'd close the door and no one would know.

"What?" he suddenly realized Chris was talking to him.

"I said - I wish you'd think again about that hospital in Philadelphia. We can get you there Vin. Whatever it takes - whatever it takes."

Though he knew he couldn't afford the time with the pain and numbness taking possession of his legs, Vin stopped and turned to his friend. "I wouldn't make it that far Cowboy. We all know that."

Chris stood stiffly. He wouldn't nod, wouldn't acknowledge that Vin was dying and there wasn't one thing he could do about it. Vin saw it and wished there was something more he could do for Chris. But he already knew what he was going to do with the little time he had left. He could only hope that Chris would forgive him.

"C'mon, get me t'my bed 'fore I collapse on the street again."

Chris was in his own room, just getting dressed, when JD knocked on his door after dawn the next morning. "Chris? We gotta problem. McIntyre escaped when they were takin' him to the County Seat."

"Damn."

"The others headed out already, I'm on my way out too."

"Good - _dammit_ - I'll keep an eye on the town and Vin." Chris pulled his shirt on and checked his weapons "Figure he'll head right here, lookin' to finish what he started." He took a few long strides to Vin's room and didn't even wait for an invite in, he used the key Vin'd given him.

"Vin - we've got a problem." he was saying as he opened the door. "Gotta get you to a -"

The words died on his lips.

Vin's room was empty.


	5. Chapter 5

Lord he was tired. He didn't sleep much anymore, not since he'd been shot, and he hadn't slept at all the night before. Some because of the pain, and some because he didn't want to sleep past the time he planned to leave town.

Vin walked his horse out of town because he was afraid that getting into the saddle would shift the bullet more. He didn't mount up until his legs were so weak he thought he wouldn't have another chance, and he mostly pulled himself into the saddle using his arms. He cast an anxious look over his shoulder. Wouldn't be too long 'fore Larabee figured he was gone and come after him like the wrath of God. Vin had to get to the reservation before then. If he didn't, he wouldn't be able to keep Chris from dragging him back to town.

Kojay's people would understand. It was a different way of life there, and Vin would be useful to them a whole lot longer than he was going to be in town. Then, when there was nothing else to do but let go of this life, they'd respect his wishes and guard his dignity, letting him refuse any more food or water. He'd seen it done before. It wouldn't take more than a few days and he'd be with his mother again.

But only if he got to the People before Chris got to him.

Lord, he was tired. His eyes demanded to be closed. The first thing he was gonna do when he got there was sleep.

Snow began to fall, small heavy flakes that spattered loudly on his coat and hat. Damn, snow'd leave a track Billy could follow. He tried to urge his horse on, but anything faster than a walk jarred his back and made the numbness wash up and down his legs like the water sloshing in his canteen. Damn. The slow pace would have to do, and he'd just have to face down Larabee and the rest if - when - they caught up with him. He'd lived his own life, he was going to die his own death.

M7*M7*M7*

Chris saddled his horse abruptly, making the animal skittish. "Of all the damn stupid times for that damn stupid tracker to take off by his damn stupid self..." he cursed and muttered. "Shoulda nailed his door shut, he wouldn't be out there somewhere with a lunatic set to kill him and weather that'd be glad to help..." He was barely out of the livery and jumped into the saddle to head out after Vin. JD hailed him from across the street.

"Chris! I sent the telegram off to Eagle Bend. When the fellas get it, they'll turn back. If I don't find him at Nettie's, I'll go north."

"Yosemite said he took off at dawn, Vin asked him to saddle his horse for him." Chris told him. "You watch yourself JD. McIntyre might not be particular."

"I will Chris."

They parted ways and took off in different directions, searching for their friend. Chris had the feeling, just had the feeling that he was on the right trail. Vin wouldn't go to Nettie's, if only because the shame of needing her help with the designs of nature would kill him long before the bullet could. No, he was gone off to be alone, or with people whose help he could ask for and accept without shame.

All at once it came to him, and Chris made tracks for the reservation.

M7*M7*M7*

Where was he? Vin lifted his head to have a look around himself. He'd seen snow before, and lots of it, but this snow stuck to the sides of the trees like boiled frosting. Did he fall asleep? How could so much snow fall?

Lord he was tired.

Nathan'd be having a fit right now, complaining he should be in bed and resting. Like he wasn't gonna have a lotta chance of that pretty soon.

Too soon.

Ezra seemed pretty much at a loss for words at first, and JD just talked too much. Till it seemed they got used to the idea that he was gonna die, but not in front of their eyes.

Josiah offered him a place and a chance to talk anytime he needed, and would quietly ask each day how he was doing.

Buck kept an eye on him, and a hand when necessary to get up from a chair after he'd been sitting too long.

And Chris was always just there.

Vin had no doubt Chris'd find him at the reservation, and he hoped he'd spend time with him there. He hoped Chris would help him die the way he'd helped him live: with friends nearby.

He just had to get to the reservation.

He chucked his horse, but the animal didn't move. It was then that he heard the hammer click, and the slick lawyer's voice behind him:

"_Remember me?" _


	6. Chapter 6

Would it ever stop snowing? Vin didn't mind being cold, but this was a damp cold, and just damn uncomfortable. He tilted and twisted his head to the side and managed another gulp of air in and out. Did he say last month that dying on the bullet was better than hanging? Well, he had his leisure now to argue the point with himself, didn't he? The noose was tight, but not tight enough to bring death, not even unconsciousness. It came close, but Vin couldn't bring himself to just give up and let go. They'd tied his hands in front of himself, which didn't make sense at first but now he figured it was to prolong the hanging - he could still use them to briefly tug the noose open. He'd hold out till his lungs burned and his eyes watered, and his head felt about ready to split wide open, like them poor captives in the Kiowa camp strung upside down over a fire.

But then Vin'd fight for just one more breath of air, just one more minute of life.

And it would start all over again.

Hanging? This wasn't a hanging. This was slow, brutal torture. First, the two brothers beat him till he couldn't stand, even if he'd had the legs to try. They threw the rope over a low branch and around Vin's neck and dragged him up as slow as they could, laughing at his frantic efforts to get free. Pausing occasionally to make it take as long as it could.

Finally, they tied the rope off and left him to strangle, alone, in the damp cold.

_Would it never stop snowing?_

Vin knew all he had to do was let go, stop trying, and it would be over. He'd be with his Ma again. But his mind turned to his friends and the town, his town, and the thought that now, even now, he couldn't be out of hope. Shoulda just let 'em drag him to that hospital - _whatever it takes Vin_ - in Philadelphia. He' be just as dead, but he'd be warm and dry.

"Ma -" he made the thought if not the sound. "Miss you so bad. Never wanted anything but to be with y'again. But not yet Ma. Please Ma - _whatever it takes -_ I don't want t'die..."

A wild howling wind raged through the trees then, and shook the branch Vin was dying on. Just as he was trying for the last breath he'd have the strength for, the branch cracked and broke off, and all Vin could think was that it seemed to take a whole lot longer to get to the ground than it oughtta, seein's how close he was to start with. And all the while, the bullet in his back hurt just as bad as when he'd been fresh shot.

Then he did hit the ground, and the noose relaxed, and he got his fill of breath as darkness fell over him at last.

M7*M7*M7*  
Chris Larabee had never seen weather like this. A snow squall broke over the land, chased out of the sky by wicked thunder. His poncho long ago stopped being adequate against the snowfall. He'd have to find Tanner and soon or they'd both be lost. He couldn't find a single track, but looking back he saw that the wind and snow covered his own tracks just as soon as he made them.

He could be half a length behind Vin and not even know it.

Shouldn't even be out here. Tanner had no sense to so much as stand outside on the porch the way the sky was looking this morning. Even Billy recognized the ominous snow clouds, delighted in them the way only a child could be, who didn't have to go out in it.

None of them should've had to go out in it, and if Vin was fine when Chris found him, he wouldn't stay that way for long.

Up ahead, near the base of a huge old tree, Chris saw marks in the snow, deep enough that the wind hadn't obliterated them yet. From the size and irregularity of the depression, he could tell there'd been a struggle here. He swung off his horse to have a better look - and found spatters and splashes of blood under the top layer of snow.

He knew - he just knew - it was Vin's. Vin'd found the bastards - or been found by them, and the little time Chris thought he had before suddenly decreased to nothing. He had to find Tanner - he had to find him now.

M7*M7*M7*

Vin couldn't remember how he'd gotten to the little shack. Crawled, maybe? It was sure nobody brought him here. Didn't matter anyhow. He was out of the snow and he could breathe. McIntyre hadn't stuck around to see him dead, so they were probably long gone. Maybe now he could close his eyes and get some sleep. That would be so welcome. He wasn't cold anymore anyway. He actually felt warm, curled into a corner of the shack. The pounding in his head was less anyway. He almost felt like he was floating, the way it felt when you found a pool of water deep enough and calm enough to just lie on your back and count the stars overhead, and if you closed your eyes and relaxed, the water would just carry you away.

That's what it felt like now. Just close his eyes and float away.

M7*M7*M7*

The small building seemed to materialize out of the snow. Chris wasn't sure at first that he saw it, couldn't tell if it wasn't just a mirage created of blowing snow and desperation. But no, it was solid enough as he pulled his horse to a stop at the structure that hadn't seen a door or pane of glass in his whole lifetime.

The blood and drag marks in the snow making him dread what he'd find inside, Chris dismounted and tied his horse, slipping the reins through a knot hole at the door frame.

Then he went inside.


	7. Chapter 7

Vin squirmed a little in his corner. His back hurt somethin' awful and he thought he could feel warm blood running down from the bullet wound. Musta torn it open, wouldn't surprise him. All along Nathan was sayin' how it wasn't healing right. Didn't matter a whole lot now, did it, whether it healed or not. He was nearly done for.

He could barely see past the blurry shadows that surrounded him, but the air was filled with the sweet smell of decaying wood, the musty earthen floor, and the sharp clean air of the snow storm blowing through broken windows. The chill began to settle on him, and he lifted his still bound hands to try and pull his coat closer. The noose still hung loosely around his neck.

Someone would find him.

Chris would come.

M7*M7*M7*

Chris cautiously entered the ancient structure. No telling what had happened, or who was in here, and he wasn't about to be taken by surprise in his impatience to find Tanner. The wind and snow seemed to lessen as he took hesitant steps into the darkness. For the ferocity of the storm, precious little snow had blown inside. The diffused daylight cast odd patterns of shadow in the middle of the dirt floor, leaving the corners in total darkness. The place must've been abandoned for generations. Judging from the smell and the debris, whatever it was originally, it was now merely a place where animals ate, reproduced, relieved themselves, and died.

Please, let Tanner be here.

He took another couple of steps into the dull quiet, trying to see into those black corners. One corner had a pile of bones, looked to be raccoon. Another corner revealed the reddish quilting of a spring mattress that'd rusted itself into a memory in the dirt. The next corner - a pile of rags and sodden hair that could only be his friend.

"Vin!" Chris hurried to him, but stopped short at his appearance. It'd only been a matter of hours since he'd seen Vin last, what in God's name had he been through? The bruises and gashes, the - _dear God _- rope around his neck, hat and boots gone, clothes torn apart. And the frightened, unknowing eyes that turned up to his. "Vin?" he tried again, quietly. "You're safe Pard. I'll get us some help. What'd y'take off like that for? Told you it wasn't safe for you to be out by yourself, not with that gang wanting t'kill you..."

As he spoke, hoping for some spark of recognition, Chris took out his pocket knife and carefully cut the ropes that tied Vin's hands together. Then he started sawing on the rope noose, using the fingers of his other hand to protect Vin's neck.

"We'll get you back home, Nathan'll look to you." The raw red and purple rope burn scared him. If Vin's throat swelled up, he'd be dead in minutes. "You with me Vin? Listening to me? I want t'lay you down, but I don't want to move you if your neck is hurt. Can you move your arms and legs?" Chris pulled his poncho off, and laid it wrong side up on the dirt floor so he could lay Vin down on it. "Vin?"

M7*M7*M7*

What was that voice? Sounded like Larabee, but didn't. Vin listened again._ Yep, that's Larabee. I'm the one got killed and he's blamin' me..._ He lifted his eyelids as far as he could get them, wanting to see Larabee. Needing to see him to finally feel safe.

But that wasn't Chris.

Looked like him, mostly enough. But something wasn't right. What was he wearing? Was that a rubber poncho? Vin'd seen one once, back during the war. Where the hell'd Larabee get that? 'Course, the snow was heavy and wet and had soaked through his own clothes in minutes. That poncho was probably the best thing.

Was that Larabee? How could it not be?

"_C...h...r...i...s...?"_ Lord, it hurt to breathe, much less talk. _"T...h...a...t y...o...u...?"_

M7*M7*M7*

Chris almost didn't hear the words. At first, they just sounded like painful breath being exhaled. He was glad to hear them though. It meant Vin was recognizing him. "It's me Vin. We're gonna get you down off this mountain safe and sound. Soon's you're home and all better, I'm gonna beat the crap outta you for scarin' me like this. OK?"

"_H...o...m...e...?"_

"Yeah Vin, home. I'll get us some help. You're moving your legs, so I'm gonna lay y'down, get y'covered up and warm. Help'll be here in no time. You're gonna be fine, y'hear me? You're gonna be fine." He started to maneuver the injured man to lay him down. As Chris eased him forward, leaning Vin against himself to get a better hold of him, he saw the blood running down his back, soaking his jacket and staining the wall he'd been leaning against. He pulled the coat and shirt up to have a better look. There was no mistaking what it was.

"Shit Vin. Y'been shot in the back. How the hell did that happen?" Leaving Vin to rest against him, Larabee pulled the walkie talkie off the back of his belt and radioed his teammates for help. "I've got him Buck. About two miles west of the rock dam at Murder Creek. In an old shack y'can't hardly see in the snow. Those bastards did a real number on him. He's hurt real bad, been shot in the back, they tried to hang him. Bring Nathan and all the gear you can find. Snow's calmin' down now, don't aimed to trapped if she changes her mind."

M7*M7*M7*

Now who was Larabee yellin' at? Were they deaf or just far away? Neither probably, just pissin' Chris off.

"They'll be here soon Vin. Fifteen minutes. They'll be here soon."

_They're fifteen minutes away? Not even your voice carries that far Larabee..._ then the darkness took him again.


	8. Chapter 8

With Vin laid on the poncho on his side. Chris knelt beside him and held his scarf, wadded up and pressed against the bleeding bullet wound. He wondered what must've happened. He didn't recognize the clothes Vin was wearing. The fringed leather jacket was well-made - but Chris had never seen it before. And the bullet wound. Guns were the one thing the McGinty's _weren't_ known for. Almost any other kind of harm you wouldn't want to know about was generally their calling card.. S'pose they coulda started packng though. Even Vin's hair seemed different, longer maybe, more sunbleached than Chris was used to seeing. His face looked thinner, though it could be the injuries.

The snow must be playing tricks, that was all.

He didn't have much time to think about it when he heard the welcome sound of snowmobiles and helicopter racing to the rescue. Buck was the first one through the doorway, his face red with the cold and stinging snow. "Pilot's finding a place to set her down." He was instantly all business. "Nathan and the others are three steps behind me. The snow is comin' back hard, according to the Weather Service. And we got three serious problems staring us down right now..."

Sure enough, Nathan was right behind Buck, and as soon as he took possession of the bloody scarf, Chris stood to be out of his way. He kept one eye on Vin while he waited to hear Buck's serious problems.

"One - the snow's closed down the northern road into and outta town. The only way out would be a tank."

"That's not critical." Chris said, relieved if that was what Buck considered serious. "Long as the helicopter can get him to Mercy Hospital, or we get him there on a snowmobile -"

"Well now, that's our second problem -" By now the other three men were in the little shack, and Nathan was having them each hold their flashlights so he could get a better look at Vin. " - lightning struck a transformer and Mercy is on back up power. They'll still take Vin and do their best, but they ain't quite up to snuff."

"_Damn._ Never seen weather like this." Chris took a deep breath. "It's our best choice. Our only choice." Suddenly Buck's problems _did_ seem serious. "What the hell is the third thing?" Only Buck didn't seem to want to say.

"Chris - the McGinty's were captured this morning. Three states away. Whoever did this to Vin - it wasn't them." Chris shook his head. What the hell was going on?

"We'll get Vin to the hospital, that's our priority. Time enough to sort the rest out."

M7*M7*M7*

More voices. Familiar. Sort of. That was Nathan, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

"_N...a...t...h...a...n...?_" Vin briefly cracked his eyes open to see his friend leaning over him, examining the bullet wound.

"You talk and I'll gag you. Breathin' is all you've got to do right now. Understand?"

Yep, it was Nathan.

"_H...u...r...t...s..._"

"No shit, you've got a bullet in your back. Don't look too bad though. You're moving your legs...can you feel this?"

"_F...o...o...t...?_" Vin could feel someone touching his right foot. What'd Nathan mean, didn't look too bad? Why did he sound like he didn't know about it before?

"Good, Ezra bring your light around this side...Josiah, come a little bit closer. JD you're good there..."

Vin tried to look around to see the others, they were all here, but the movement made him dizzy and sorry he'd done it.

"Stay still, just 'cause you're moving your feet doesn't mean you can dance y'know. Just let us do all the work, okay? We'll put you in a collar and a backboard and get you to the hospital."

_Guess I'm goin' t'Philadelphia after all. In a buckboard?_

"Okay Vin. This'll likely hurt..."

"_No shit!_" Vin managed to get out all at once as the pain in his back turned into fire that consumed him and he passed out.

M7*M7*M7*

_Vin couldn't remember how he'd gotten to the little shack. Crawled, maybe? It was sure nobody brought him here. Didn't matter anyhow. He was out of the snow and he could breathe. Bastards hadn't stuck around to see him dead, so they were probably long gone. Maybe now he could close his eyes and get some sleep. But he was so cold and his pounded something fierce. The heavy door on the little building softly slammed in the wind. The latch hadn't caught when he came in. Crawled maybe. But he was out of the wind and the snow and the damp. _

_He tried to see past the blurry shadows that surrounded him. The air was filled with the musty smell of neglect. A narrow bedstead took up one corner, decrepit corn shucks sticking out of the frayed ticking. Must be some kids' play cabin, hunh? Corn shuck mattresses were something y'only read about in books. Still, that bed looked mighty inviting. But though it was less than fifteen feet away, Vin knew he'd never make it that far. He lifted his still bound hands to try and pull his coat closer. The noose still hung loosely around his neck. _

_Someone would find him. _

_Chris would come. _


	9. Chapter 9

_  
_What was that noise? Sounded like a whole herd of buffalo about ready to grind him into pemmican. It deafened him like the roar of falls off a high mountain cliff. That had to be it. He had that sensation of floating again, had to be water. He was floating in water? No, didn't feel like it. A train? That had to be it. By the shudders and pounding - they had him on a train. Damn Philadelphia, He'd never make it that far.

He tried to sit up - and couldn't. Tried to lift his head. Couldn't. He couldn't move his arms or legs, feet or hands. The bullet was finally killing him. He was completely paralyzed.

"Chris!" he hollered it, but could hardly hear himself over the din. "_Chris!_" Suddenly two pairs of hands grabbed hold of him, he could feel them on his arms. He couldn't open his eyes. "_Chris!_"

"...right here...!" Though Chris' voice was dim and far away, Vin could tell he was shouting. One of the four hands moved up to his forehead. "Calm down...safe...taking ...hospital."

"Philadelphia?"

"What?" Chris asked, but Vin didn't have the strength or voice to say it again. "Can't see Chris. Can't see." He felt breath on his face, Chris was leaning down to hear him. "My eyes...can't see."

"...bruises...windburn...swollen..." Chris' voice came across like a bad echo. "...be...okay..." The other hands moved down to his legs. "Nathan...know...feel...that...?" It took Vin a second to figure out what was wanted. He nodded, he could feel the hands on his feet. He wasn't paralyzed. Praise the Lord. Just tied down probably. Nathan'd said that back in town once. If they was to take a train anywhere, he'd want Vin secured real good to his bed so he wouldn't jar his spine. That was one of the main reasons Vin wouldn't go to any hospital. Couldn't stand the thought of being tied down for any length of time. Even if it might ultimately save his life. Now here he was. Tied down so good he thought he was paralyzed.

Couldn't think about it. If he thought about it, he'd panic and fight against the ropes. But thinking about not thinking about it pushed him to the edge. "Chris?! Chris?!" He struggled to at least free his arm. What was that around his neck? Some real big stiff bandage. Noose musta cut into his neck but good. A big, warm hand grabbed his own.

"...stay still..." Chris commanded. "...spine...hospital...soon...helicopter..."

Well, Vin understand part of that last word. Hell.

He was in it.

M7*M7*M7*

When Vin stopped struggling, Chris kept one hand on his forehead, the other tight on his wrist. He looked to Nathan who was tucking the sheet back around Vin's feet from checking his reflexes. He nodded to Chris - everything was good. Another twelve minutes in this helicopter would have them to the hospital. Then Chris could figure out who did this to Tanner - and how he'd do worse to them.

M7*M7*M7*

Morning had come again, and five men occupied various chairs and positions in the surgery waiting room at Mercy Hospital. As the first fingers of dawn reached them through the window, Josiah stood to stretch.

"Snow looks like it's finally letting up." he said. None of them had slept.

"Wonder when the power company'll get to that transformer." Buck asked. "Hospital'll be their priority. That's good anyway."

Chris listened to them talk, slumped in a thinly padded, badly vinyled chair. He rested his head in one hand, shielding his eyes the glare of the lamp, from the rising sun, from the others. Vin had lost consciousness again in the helicopter and stayed that way right up until they wheeled him into surgery to get that bullet out of his spine. Nathan insisted that the neurosurgeon had assured him that the power to the surgical suites was more than adequate for the operation, and she'd prefer to get that bullet out sooner rather than later.

So, Chris had watched his friend wheeled away to his fate, and couldn't even let him know he'd be waiting for him when he came back..

A clear plastic bag at Chris' feet held Vin's clothes. He took the unfamiliar leather coat out and held it up for a better look.

"Nice coat." JD said from his bunk in the chair next to Chris. "Where'd Vin get that?"

"I don't know." Chris said, puzzled. "I've never seen it before." He looked the fringed jacket all over, inside and out. "Handmade. No label. I don't know where he mighta got it."

"Maybe at that new store? Y'know, the one they put up next to where Vin gets his gas on the reservation. They sell stuff like that. Coats, moccasins, He mighta got it there."

"Yeah." Chris agreed, grateful for one piece of the puzzle fitting, even if it wasn't a perfect match. "Musta set him back a pretty penny..."

"He likes that Native American stuff..."

Josiah and Buck offered to scout the cafeteria for something resembling breakfast. When they were gone, Chris picked up the coat again. "Hey Ezra? What d'you make of this?" he tossed it across the small room, and Ezra caught it easily.

Pointedly avoiding the blood stains, Ezra examined the coat carefully. "Very fine leather. Moose hide I believe. Stitching is well done, though a little primitively for what this coat must've cost. No label which is also unusual. Authentic beading I daresay. But if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say this was made more for one of the Civil War reenactments or French and Indian Rendezvous that Mr. Tanner has often expressed an interest in. That would explain the stitching and absence of label." He tossed it back again. Chris nodded his thanks. That piece just wasn't fitting any better.

M7*M7*M7*

They'd made their way through good coffee and so-so doughnuts for breakfast when Nathan reappeared with a woman in scrubs beside him. Must be the neurosurgeon. Only the fact that she was smiling gave him the relief to whisper "Down Buck." as he felt his friend get in place beside him.

"Fellas, this is Becky Clemens, she took the bullet out of Vin." Nathan introduced her. "She says he's fine."

"He is." The doctor agreed, not losing her smile. "There's been no damage to his spinal cord. The bullet had been resting against it, which no doubt caused some pain or numbness. But all of his reflexes are working fine. I see no reason for him not to regain all movement and sensation in his legs."

"Can I see him?" What mattered most to Chris right now.

"Not yet. He'll be in recovery awhile longer. Due to the trauma to his throat, our ENT decided to keep him intubated, at least till he's fully conscious again. As soon as he's been settle into his room, I'll have a nurse come get you."

The others gave the doctor their thanks, and asked one or two more questions. Chris turned to the window, and the dawn that was rising on a town knee deep in snow. Not one car, not one person, could be seen along the snow choked street. They wouldn't be going anywhere for awhile. Which was just as well. They wouldn't have been going anywhere for awhile anyway.

Chris leaned his head against the cold glass and breathed out his thanks. After a minute, he turned to look again at the leather jacket he still held gripped in his hand.

Damn, those pieces just didn't fit together.


	10. Chapter 10

What was in his mouth? Vin started coming around vaguely aware of something hard and flexible in his mouth. What was that? Where was Chris? That was Chris, wasn't it? He could tell he wasn't on the train no more. If he could just open his eyes, he could see where he was. Couldn't be to Philadelphia yet, could they? That place had to be twice as far away as Purgatory. Right? They couldn't be there already. Right?

Where was Chris?

What was in his mouth?

That _was_ Chris, wasn't it?

M7*M7*M7*

Nathan stood over Vin in recovery. With all he'd been through, Nathan wanted him to have a familiar face to wake up to. When he saw Vin's eyes start to flutter, he bent down closer.

"Vin? Y'hear me? Come on now Tanner. Open those eyes for me. Sooner you come around, sooner we can get you to your room. Come on and look at me." he spoke softly, trying to coax Vin awake and not frighten him.

It didn't work.

Vin came awake wide eyed in panic, reaching for the strange thing down his throat.

"Vin - listen to me - listen -" Nathan took his hands, he was too weak to do any real damage. "The tube's down your throat so you can breathe. Listen to me Vin. Look at me. Stay still."

M7*M7*M7*

_What was that noise? Sounded like a freight train barreling straight for the shack. Tornado? In a snowstorm? Damn if this day couldn't get any worse. First Larabee baby-sitting him for nearly two weeks while State Troopers across five states had a dragnet out for the McGinty brothers. Soon as he heard this morning they'd been caught just inside the Nevada border, he'd saddled his horse to go for a ride. Chris was still asleep, so he never said a word to him. All he wanted was a ride out by himself in the waning days of Indian summer. Now he tried to think which part of karma he must've pissed off so bad to be having this kind of day. _

_Freezing to death, in an abandoned shack, in the middle of a blizzard, with a tornado coming on, jumped and strangled from behind by God only knew who except he sounded an awful lot like that sleazy lawyer the McGinty's hired to weasel them out of manslaughter charges. All Vin remembered now was that he'd called out to his mother to help him and the he'd come to inside this shack. _

_Someone would find him. _

_Chris would come. _

M7*M7*M7*  
__

Mercy Hospital stood on the outskirts of Ute City, a shining example of hospital architecture and medical advances - of the early 1930's. Biannually, half the town council resurrected the assumed need to tear the old place down and build a brand spanking new one on a fine piece of property just on the other side of town. And biannually, the other half of the town council brought up the point that the land in question belonged to the brother of the council president and he didn't need any more money.

So the outdated building continued to serve the little town, updating it's equipment and personnel - and still occasionally stuck in the middle of a tug of war between the weather and the power company. Even now, the lights went out, flickered back on, and wavered a few seconds before back up power kicked on again. Vin'd been brought to a private room, and was asleep in the bed, propped on his side. Chris and Nathan stood nearby. "He came awake hard." Nathan was explaining. "Musta had a reaction to the anesthetic, then coming to with the tube down his throat. He seemed real confused, looking around like he didn't know where he was. When we got the tube out, he asked if he was in Philadelphia. Becky finally gave him a mild sedative. He's been quiet since then."

Looking at Vin, listening to Nathan, Chris shook his head. "He's gonna be okay though?" He rubbed his eyes.

"Yep, he's moving his toes, he's on painkillers, antibiotics and anti-inflammatories. His throat looks okay..." Nathan took stock of Chris. "You need to get some sleep Chris. Searching all day yesterday, staying awake all last night. You need to rest."

"I'll rest - now." Chris gestured with his head toward Vin. "I'll sleep in the chair. You can't move me Nathan and you know it." he answered the doctor's hard look. "I'll sleep in the chair."

"All right." Nathan gave up with a sigh. He headed for the door. "Hospital is short-staffed on account of the snow, I'll be around. I'll be busy - but I'll be around. I think the other fellas are volunteering where they can too. You get some rest."

He shut the door as he left, cutting off the inconsistently flickering light from the hallway. Chris took a turn around the bed, making sure the blankets were all tucked in around Vin, before he pulled the thinly padded, badly vinyled chair close to the bed.

The doctor and nurses had propped Vin on his side with strategically placed pillows. He seemed to be sleeping comfortably enough. He was breathing deeply and evenly. The only light in the room came through the window behind Chris and the bruises and gashes didn't seem so bad now, but his face still looked too thin. The hand with the IV line taped to it rested on one of the pillows.

Funny, Chris didn't remember that scar on Vin's forearm, right near his elbow. It looked kinda fresh - but he couldn't think where Vin might've gotten it.

"_...ris..._" Vin's eyes weren't open, but most of Chris' name made it past his lips. Chris leaned forward and put his hand on Vin's wrist, near the IV.

"Right here Vin."

"_...delphia..._?" He still didn't open his eyes. His voice was barely as whisper.

"What about Philadelphia Vin?" Maybe it had something to do with his attacker.

"_...hospital..._?" Voice still soft, but sounding a little aggravated.

"You're in the hospital Vin, but not in Philadelphia." There was no response. "Vin? Do you think you're in Philadelphia?"

"Said...could get...bullet out...Chris?" He summoned the energy to open his eyes and focus them right on Larabee. "Gonna die?"

"Not on my watch, Pard." Chris assured him, but all he got back was a puzzled look. "No, Vin. They got the bullet out, you're not going to die."

"_...delphia..._?" Vin asked again, after a pause.

"No, Vin. You're not in Philadelphia. You're in Mercy Hospital right here at home. Now, you go back to sleep."

M7*M7*M7*

Vin didn't understand. Probably fog in his brain from the ether. Chris was saying he was in a hospital, and the bullet was out. But this wasn't Philadelphia. What did Chris say? They were home? He blinked a few times to clear the blur and turned his eyes around the room. 'Home' didn't have a hospital. Closest one was Glenwood Springs, wasn't it? That must be it. Glenwood Springs. Sure was a fancy place. Bright white walls, as near as he could see. So indoors y'couldn't hear no traffic from the street. He blinked a few more times and looked out the window just behind Chris.

He could see the San Juan Mountains.

Yep, he was home.

He closed his eyes again.

When it seemed Vin was asleep, Chris let go of his arm and sat back in the chair.

How could he not remember that scar?


	11. Chapter 11

"_GET IT OUT!_" The harsh voice brought Chris out of the uncomfortable sleep he'd been exploring on the hospital chair. He found Vin struggling to free his left arm out from under himself, trying to get to the IV in the back of his right hand.

"Hey! Stop that - don't pull that out." Chris stood and easily pinned Vin's left arm down. "That's the IV. You need that..."

"Ivy?" Vin asked. Clearly puzzled. Chris thought he'd have to find out from Nathan how long that anesthetic confusion tended to last.

"It's how you're gettin' your medication Vin. It's to help you. Leave it in." Still the puzzled look of someone who just didn't understand. "You trust me Vin?" and Chris was pleased and touched with how fast and firm Vin nodded. "Okay then. You leave that alone. That's to help you."

It seemed to take half a minute for Vin to ponder this, then he nodded again and relaxed. Chris let go of his arm. "Good. Go back to sleep." Vin nodded, and shut his eyes.

M7*M7*M7

Sleep. Felt wrong to sleep while the world was still wide awake. But his eyes wouldn't stay open. Vin wanted to take a better look at this hospital. Get an idea of what was goin' on. When Nathan explained what the surgery might be like, when he first started huntin' a hospital would do the surgery, he told Vin there was probably things the hospital would do that even he'd never heard of. So - Vin didn't like that thing stickin' in his arm, but if that was how the hospital did it, he'd make out like it was okay with him. Didn't want folks thinkin' he could be struck dumb by a big city and fancy doctorin'.

Truth was though, he'd never been in such a fancy place. The bedstead went all the way around, and was the shiniest thing he'd ever seen. The bedclothes were softer than any he'd ever had. Never seen walls so bright white. Fanciest place he figured he'd ever been in before was that house a'sportin' women down near San Antone. Never seen so much soft, shiny, useless things all in one place, before or since.

He grinned a little bit as he thought he'd never seen so many soft, sparkling, agreeable women all in one place either. A man could get lost in there for the rest of his life and never even notice. He'd sleep in the middle of the day if it meant he could dream about that place.

M7*M7*M7

"_WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?_" The same harsh voice brought Chris up out of the same uncomfortable chair. Just as he was feeling aggravated at this continued confusion, he saw the direction Vin was looking.

"That's the catheter Vin." He tried to explain, and was met with look of angry confusion this time. Couldn't blame man for not liking that, confused or not. "It's so you can pee without peeing the bed."

"When'd Nathan get so powerful particular?" Vin demanded.

"I think probably it's hospital policy."

"Oughtta get a man's say-so 'fore they do somethin' like that...that's a mighty personal...what're y'starin' at me like that for?" It wasn't until Vin asked that, that Chris realized he _was_ staring. The pronounced Texas accent wasn't Vin's normal speaking voice.

"You feelin' all right Vin?" Chris asked quietly.

"Shit no - shot, beat up, hanged, froze, got things stickin' in n'outta me, got drug clear to Glenwood Springs to some high falutin' hospital where a man can't even -"

"Glenwood Springs?" Chris interrupted him. "Vin - you're in Mercy Hospital. You're home, not Glenwood Springs." First Philadelphia, now Glenwood Springs?

"Home don't have no hospital."

"Yes it does Vin, been here since the Thirties." OK, this confusion was getting on the high side of tiresome.

"No, it ain't." Now Vin's voice sounded small, wary of being on the wrong end of a practical joke. "Town ain't even been around that long." Just as the impatience in Chris' eyes swirled into worry, the door to the room opened and Buck came in.

"Hey - how's everything in here?" he kept his voice to a near-whisper at first, thinking Vin would probably be asleep. But he saw the look in Larabee's face. "What?"

Chris wanted to shrug and say 'nothing', but he couldn't. "Seen Nathan?"

"I just walked past him out at the nurses' station...want me to get him?"

"Naah...I just gotta ask him a question...I'll be back..." he said to Vin.

As Chris left the room, Buck came around to the other side of the bed. "Hey Vin - how you feeling? What're y'doin' that's got Chris so bothered?" He lowered the railing and sat in the chair to be more on a level with Vin.

"...don't know..."

"Well...way things a'been goin' since the trial, and havin' them murderin' bastards on the loose, I guess Chris has been one breath away from exploding for awhile now..."

"He's sayin' things I don't understand."

"Like what Vin?" Buck moved the chair a little so Vin didn't have to turn his head to see him.

"Like where we are...says we're 'home'. Home don't have no hospital..."

"Oh..." Buck sounded relieved. "You're just havin' a reaction to the anesthetic is all. You know where y'are and the hospital and all. Nathan says some people get confused when they wake up outta surgery. That's all."

"Ether does that?" Vin asked.

"Ether? Umm...they don't use ether anymore Vin. They use anesthetic."

"Ohh..." Vin pondered this. He couldn't recollect not remembering. He wondered what that stuff was that was making him forget. Anna hunh? Figured Buck would know about it if it involved a woman. Just as he slipped off to sleep again, Vin asked: " So just what is Anna's thettick?"

M7*M7*M7

_The high whistling wind brought Vin awake again in the corner of the shack. He hadn't hardly been asleep, the shadows on the wood floor hadn't changed at all. That cold was gonna eat right through him though if help didn't come soon. He couldn't control his shivering anymore and his jaw hurt from trying to keep his teeth from rattling. _

_Chris would come. He'd be out after him as soon as he knew Vin had lit out on his own. He hadn't been four feet from Vin hardly since nearly the year before when he'd seen that man stabbed to death in the bar. Then when the the phone calls and threatening letters started, Larabee'd stuck closer than sweat. Didn't bother Vin though, not really. Something comforting in that wall of courage he called his friend. Chris'd kept him safe all this past year, Chris'd save him now. _

M7*M7*M7

Chris stood over Vin's bed again, watching his friend sleep off the anesthetic, sedative, and ordeals he'd been through. Nathan had assured him again that the confusion wasn't out of the ordinary. Vin was recognizing his friends, that was a good thing. He was having no effects from being shot in the back, and that was a great thing. Just let him sleep, don't agitate him too much trying to get him to remember things the right way yet. Just let him sleep, reassure him that he was safe, and that they'd take care of him until his memory came back.

"You look about ready to fall over." Josiah said from the doorway.

"He's having a hard time of it." Chris motioned to Vin. "Wanted some water, acted like he's never seen a drinking straw before...keeps looking at everything like he's never seen it before."

"He's been through a lot this past day...past month...this past year." The door hissed shut behind Josiah as he walked to the bed. "Witnessing a murder, having to testify, death threats from the McGintys' friends and family. Having them escape and fearing for his life all this time. Now this - nearly killed four different ways - hanging, beating, shooting, or freezing to death. Dr. Clemens said the bullet was as solid in his spine as though it'd been there a hundred years. Took all her muscle to pull it out of him. 'Hard time' doesn't begin to cover it, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." Chris agreed.

"And you've been right next to him, every step of the way. Haven't you?" But Chris nodded to the battered man in the bed.

"Think I missed an important step, Josiah."


	12. Chapter 12

_The small building seemed to materialize out of the snow. Chris wasn't sure at first that he saw it, couldn't tell if it wasn't just a mirage created of blowing snow and desperation. But no, it was solid enough as he pulled his horse to a stop at the door that softly swung open and shut in the wind. He dismounted and tied his horse to the squat hitching post at the door way, pulled his gun and cautiously entered the rough hewn structure. No telling what had happened, or who was in here, and he wasn't about to be taken by surprise in his impatience to find Vin. _

_The diffused daylight cast odd patterns of shadow in the middle of the wood floor, leaving the corners in darkness. The place must've been occupied just recently. There was a bed and a cupboard, stove and a pile of wood nearby it. A low mumble beyond the cupboard got Chris' attention. In the fragile shadow he gratefully made out Tanner's form and went to him. _

_M7*M7*M7_

Vin stiffened when he heard the voice saying his name. Who was that? Larabee'd be put out that he wasn't the one to find Vin. Damn conceited fool...wish it was him...sounded kinda like him though. 

_As hands touched his, and a knife made short work of the ropes on his wrist and neck, Vin willed his eyes open. Sure sounded like Larabee now, cursing Vin for scaring him and getting himself into trouble, and was he okay? But his voice sounded odd, rough, and he wasn't being too gentle with a body might have spinal cord damage. _

_Finally his eyes came open and settled on the man in front of him. Sure looked like Chris - but older, more lines on his face like he'd been out in the sun his whole life. He needed a bath, a shave, and a haircut - and not necessarily in that order. And what was with that woven multicolor poncho that hadn't seen the good side of a washing machine in forever? _

_M7*M7*M7_

The noose came off easily and didn't seem to have done much damage. Vin's throat was scratched and only a little bruised. Other than some bruises and gashes on his face and hands, and fierce shivering the only thing that worried Chris was the bloody lump just above Vin's left ear. He was relieved when Vin's eyes opened and he seemed to recognize Larabee, but Chris was surprised by the first raspy words out of Vin: "Damn Chris - what the hell happened to you?" 

_M7*M7*M7_

"Home don't have no hospital." Vin muttered again before opening his eyes.

"What does it have?" JD's voice so close surprised Vin, his eyes popped open.

"What?"

"If home don't have a hospital, what does it have?" JD wasn't accusing, he sounded genuinely interested.

"Just Nathan's room above the livery. That's where we get patched up." What happened to JD? His hair was shorter, he'd shaved, he wore a clean plaid flannel shirt and corduroy pants. Maybe the hospital didn't let nobody in was dirty? Some bath house made a good nickel on this bunch. "JD?" Almost afraid to say it, afraid it wouldn't really be JD. "Help me get some water? Think I got the hang a'that straw thing now."

"Sure." JD took the plastic cup off the bedside table. Vin got himself a little more comfortable and pushed up as much as he could on his left arm. He stared at that cup a couple of beats, then shook his head and shut his eyes, and let JD guide the straw to his mouth.

"Thanks kid." and Vin settled into the pillows again. "Sure is a fancy place, hunh? Thought when Nathan first sent them wires, no hospital round about would take me on."

"Well, you know none of us would rest till we got you taken care of Vin..." JD said, and Vin turned a hesitant smile on him.

"Reckon I forgot that for a time...I'se ready to just give up and let it kill me. Shoulda figured y'all would find a way."

"Y'gotta remember you got us to rely on now Vin. Y'ain't on your own anymore."

"I know, I'll try t'remember it." Vin said, satisfied that he wasn't really as addled as he felt. JD understood everything he was sayin'. "Back don't hardly hurt at all, figurin' what they musta had to do t'get that bullet outta me. When Nathan tried, felt like he was rippin' me in two."

"Hospital's got more medicine I guess, more painkillers." JD repositioned himself in the chair and rested his feet against the bottom of the bed railing. "Not shy about using 'em."

"Laudanum usually makes me sick. Sits on my brain real heavy like. I don't mind this."

"You'd be surprised all the things they got here Vin. Bet it's nothing like you'd ever see at Nathan's."

"Hell, been nothin' BUT surprised since I opened my eyes and seen Larabee in that shack..."

"What's the last thing you remember before Chris finding you?"

"Bein' cold. Bein' in the shack and everything all rotted away. Hands was tied..." Even now his wrists bore the faint rope burns. "Knew y'all would find me though. Never doubted that."

JD grinned, then dropped his feet to the floor to get closer. "Vin? Do you know who it was attacked you? Nathan said not to try to get you to remember, and the blizzard killed probably any tracks, but if you could identify 'em, we'd might gain some ground."

"Hell yeah I know who it was - damn lawyer. Oily buzzard got the drop on me out there in the woods. What'd he do? Escape? He was supposed to hang." Vin waited for JD to answer, the kid seemed to be pondering it. Finally he nodded, and stood up.

"I'll get the word to the others. Unless the snow buried him, we'll flush him out."

"I 'preciate it JD. You find him, you save him for me."

"We will." JD laid his hand on Vin's arm. "You rest easy."

"'kay." Vin was a little baffled by the touch. None of the fellas was much for touchin' just t'touch, 'cept Nathan. But that was his work. JD must be worrieder than he let on. Vin turned his head to watch JD leave the room .

Something just wasn't right.

_M7*M7*M7_

"What are you doing?" Buck demanded as he pulled JD out of earshot of Vin's room.

"What?"

"I could hear you in there, talking like everything Vin was saying was making perfect sense. I know Nathan said not to push him to remember, but you think agreeing with him is a good idea?"

"He's go some imagination, hunh?" was all JD said.

"Imagination? The anesthetic's got him so he don't know up from down. What's that got to do with his imagination?"

"Sure he's confused Buck." JD tried to explain. "But it's twisting around things he already knows. Things we already know. You know he does that Civil War re-enacting. He plays a cavalry scout - I think that's where he is now. Whenever he's in 'first person' he talks like he's right back there in the 1800's and that's what he's doing now. Thinks he's never seen anything plastic, or electric, or that there hasn't been a hospital here for seventy years. Buck - if he's in his 'first person' - seventy years ago was about the year 1800 for him. Of course he's gonna think there wasn't a hospital here then. Figured if I could him to feel comfortable, he'd start to see where he was and that it was safe to come back."

Buck gave JD a narrow look while he puzzled it all out. Finally he sighed. "Okay, let's find Chris and Nathan, and you try that all over again."

_M7*M7*M7_

_Nope, wasn't a tornado bearing down on them. That rushing, roaring sound was right inside his own head. Vin couldn't hear his own voice over it, and he sure couldn't hear Chris. Could read his face well enough though. Not happy. Glad that Vin was alive, not happy that he'd put himself in danger. Vin decided to stay quiet and turn that 'hurt puppy' look on Larabee. That always seemed to work when he'd put Chris in a bad mood for one reason or another. _

_Vin'd been surprised when he first realized that he had such a look, much less that it worked so well on combustion personified. It was that first poker game, wasn't it? Somebody said something, didn't know they were being mean and Vin tried real hard to not let it hurt him. But he caught Chris studying his face and later Larabee made a point of making sure he was okay. _

_So he tried it now. _

_Judging from the glare, it wasn't working. _

"_Cold?" he tried. Anyway that was true and Larabee shouldn't need to be told it. Vin was shivering so hard his fillings were coming loose. Finally, lifeless-as-lead Larabee nodded and said something, pointing over to the bed and woodstove. He caught on real quick that Vin wasn't hearing anything though and held up both hands in the 'wait a minute' gesture. _

_He pulled off the poncho and wrapped it around Vin, then went to start a fire in the stove. Vin kept a close eye on the woven material, watching to see if anything with more than two legs was walking around in it. _

_The thing looked like Chris' wrestled a peasant for his clothes and lost. And it didn't make Vin any warmer. _

_M7*M7*M7_

Chris whittled a few long strips of wood to start a fire, and kept one eye on Vin. He wondered now if Vin had been headed for the reservation? Wherever he was going, he'd bothered to take a bath and shave, maybe even trimmed his hair, and he had on the cleanest clothes Chris had ever seen him in. Could be a custom from his Indian days. Clean yourself up when you're preparing to die. Damn stubborn tracker. Shoulda just hauled his worthless carcass to Philadelphia and had done with it. 

_He wondered if he oughtta look at that bullet wound. Vin was moving his arms and legs, and didn't seem to be in too much pain. Better to leave well enough alone. Damn stubborn tracker. Wandered off into a blizzard, nearly got himself killed, and had the nerve to ask Chris what happened to HIM. Probably thought that was real funny. _

_The fire caught, and Chris fiddled with it till he was satisfied, and turned to find Vin staring at the poncho like he expected it to jump up and strangle him. "What d'you say I get you into this bed now?" _

"_WHAT?" _

"_Okay Vin, you might be deaf, I'm not. I'm going to put you in that bed and see about gettin' you warmed up. Okay?" Chris used gestures as he explained it again, and Vin seemed to understand. Chris got an arm around him and raised Vin to his feet. _

"_YOU DON'T GOTTA TREAT ME LIKE GLASS Y'KNOW. I AIN'T -" Vin's shout was abruptly stopped when Chris pointedly shushed him. "Oh - sorry. Gotta tornado goin' on in my head. Can't hear worth shit." _

"_So I guess now'd be the best time t'tell you I know how Miss Mabel found out about your birthmark?" Chris said, and just smiled at Vin's confused look. _

"_You'd do better to write it down Chris, you got something important to tell me. Least until this roaring stops...God, I'm so cold." _

"_You'll get warmed up in no time." He guided Vin across the short distance and helped him sit on the bed. "You lay down." Using gestures again, and trying to speak plainly. "I'm gonna put my horse in the shed out back. I didn't see your horse, maybe he headed home." _

"_Aren't we gettin' outta here?" Vin asked when he realized what Chris saying. _

"_Can't. Blizzard outside. Have to wait for it t'die down. Morning at least." _

"_He might still be out there." The soft words touched Chris. _

"_I got your back Pard." and Vin understood the meaning if not the words clearly. _


	13. Chapter 13

"Okay, let me get this straight." Chris fixed his eyes on JD. "Vin's confused, no doubt about it. But you think he's got his Civil War persona tied up in this somehow? That what he's talking about, the things he says he doesn't know - it's just that he's slipped into his 'first person' and doesn't want to come out?" Larabee sat away from the table and back into his chair The four men sat in a nearly empty cafeteria. "I don't know -- does that make sense Nathan?"

"It could...if the confusion lasts much longer, Becky's going t'order a CT scan, maybe an EEG, see if Vin didn't suffer some brain damage from lack of oxygen. Could be his signals are just mixed up."

"You think it could be brain damage?" Buck asked. "He said he didn't think he lost consciousness." Nathan shook his head.

"I can't make that call. Have to do those tests first."

"Could he be just scared?" JD asked. "I mean, you know how Vin is - or was before all this started. Could be a year of death threats and "hurry-up-and-wait" for the trial just wore him down. Now really almost getting killed out there. How long was it before he started trusting us at all when we all first met? I think being where he is now is just safer for him. We just gotta act like it's okay for him to be there, until we can make him know that it's okay to be here again."

"Scares me it makes so much sense." Buck said. Just then Nathan was paged overhead and he went to the nearest phone. A brief message and he came back to the table and grabbed his coffee.

"Some fools were out drivin' in this mess. Gotta chopper coming in with the injured. I'll see you later." He hurried out of the cafeteria and to the ER. Chris turned a pondering gaze on JD.

"Well, it does seem to make sense. Till we hear different, I'm willing to try it."

M7*M7*M7

They got back to Vin's room to find Josiah and Ezra waiting in the hallway. "What's going on?" Chris asked. Vin's door was closed and they could hear voices from inside.

"Nurse went in to give Vin a bath and apparently he does _not_ like it." Josiah said. "What was he saying before?" he asked Ezra.

"If I remember correctly, he said something to the effect of _'old sergeants washing new privates'_. He was most obstreperous."

"Damn, I knew that boy was shy." Buck said. "Didn't figure _that_ shy."

"And she was a most charming and appealing young woman. I daresay I wouldn't turn away such ministrations."

From behind the door came the distinctly plaintive _"Don't._" and Chris' back went up and he went in.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm not finished here yet. If you could just wait outside with the others..." The nurse was pretty and capable - and barking up the wrong tree. Chris barely glanced at her as he took stock of Tanner. Vin had pulled himself into the railing as far away from her has he could get. The shame rode high and dark on his face, and he had the blankets pulled up as tight as he could.

"Vin - you want me to stay with you?"

"Sir really -"

"Vin?" Chris worried when Vin didn't answer him, didn't even look up. "Vin, you have the right to refuse getting a bath, if you don't want it."

"Don't want it." finally breathed out, so softly both friend and nurse leaned a little closer to hear it. "Get me a bath when I get home."

"All right Mr. Tanner." The nurse's voice didn't betray one bit of aggravation. "They'll be bringing your dinner up to you soon. If you need anything, the call light is right next to you." Vin nodded, barely lifted his eyes to her, and tightened his grip on the blankets. Chris held the door for her, as she wheeled her cart and unused supplies back out to the hallway.

"What's goin' on?" he asked, after the nurse was gone, and he'd scattered their friends, and shut the door. "Well?" when Vin still didn't answer.

"Had me a bath already." Vin didn't relax his grip on the bedclothes.

"Yeah, and in the meantime, you've been beaten, shot, and strangled, and had major surgery. Another bath wouldn't hurt." He waited, but got no answer. "What is it Vin?" he asked gently. "You don't spook that easy."

"Scared me." came the whispered reply.

"I know...why did it scare you? Why did she scare you?" Chris walked to the side of the bed where Vin still huddled. "Relax now Vin. You're safe. Let's get you back on the pillows."

M7*M7*M7

Vin relaxed as much as he could and let Chris help him get repositioned in the bed. Onliest way to stay alive in a bad place was to never let on that they had y'spooked. Make out like the ugliest, scariest thing they could throw at you was just everyday life to you. Even now, when it was Chris - the one man Vin trusted even more than himself - even now Vin held onto his fear like a miser, only letting go of what he had to to survive this bad place.

It didn't seem like Chris would ever stop fussin' and straightnin' the blankets and pillows, checking the ivy line, even givin' a look to that damn _'so you don't pee the bed'_ contraption. When he came back to the head of the bed, he came back to the question.

"Vin, y'been through a whole lot. Not just yesterday and today, but for awhile now. If you talk about it, if you tell me about it, I'll try to help you make sense of it. Whatever is scarin' you, you don't have to tough it out alone. You're not alone anymore."

"Never _said_ I was alone." Vin defended.

"You never _had _t'say it Vin. You got it written all over you."

"Tired...wanna go t'sleep." Funny how the thing that made him most vulnerable to his enemies was his only defense now against his friends. He didn't close his eyes though, he stared up at Chris, daring him to refuse. Chris only smiled.

"All you been through, I'm surprised you got enough energy to be puttin' up the fuss you are. You go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

M7*M7*M7

_Chris shoved the door closed against the insistent wind. "Can't see three feet in front of yourself out there." he said, though he knew it was pointless. "How're you doin'?" He found Vin standing dangerously unsteady and close to the woodstove. The poncho had dropped off him, and he held his hands out to the stove. "Hey!" In a few strides Chris was at Vin's side. He took his arm to steady him and keep him from getting burned. _

"_Can't feel it Chris." Vin said, still a little too loud. "Can't feel the heat. Why can't I feel it?" His shivering was worse, if that was possible, and Chris could feel how cold his skin was through the thin shirt. _

"_Sit before you fall...SIT!" Chris guided him back and sitting on the bed. "Everything is just catching up with you." He knelt in front of Vin and rubbed Vin's arms, trying to warm him up. _

"_Can't feel the heat Chris. Not at all." _

"_I know." Chris nodded, worried that Vin was going into shock. "I'll build up the fire...lay down, let me get you covered up." He pulled the worn quilt and yarn blanket back from the tick and pushed Vin down. "Easy, I'll build up the fire. You'll get warm." He figured Vin didn't understand the words - that lump on his head had his ears ringing no doubt. He pulled the covers back up, and laid his poncho over the top. _

_The wind howled outside the window, wanting to push the snow inside, knowing the sun would set in just a little while. Chris lit a candle that danced in the draft, and he added more wood to the stove. Vin was shivering so bad now, if Chris couldn't get him warmed up, he might not last. He didn't feel unbearably cold in the little room, but Vin was hurt and scared, still nursing that bullet in his spine. Chris had to get him warmed up. _

_  
_M7*M7*M7__

The bed wasn't too uncomfortable, for being corn shucks, but they crackled with every shiver. "Can't hear myself talk." Vin grumbled to himself. "Can hear the damn bed complain..." He was shivering so hard his muscles hurt, and his head was beginning to pound. "I am never leaving home again." He turned onto his side and pulled the quilt and afghan and poncho tighter around himself. "Never been so cold..." He could see Larabee moving around the cabin. Looked like he was making coffee. 

"_The others are looking for us, right?" Was that loud enough? Or too loud? Whichever, Chris nodded. He came to the bed with a graniteware cup that had lost a lot of its granite around the lip. _

_Drink this - Vin read Chris' lips. He pushed himself up and drank the hot liquid. Damn, even Chris' coffee wasn't usually this bad. But Vin felt its warmth all the way down. He handed the cup back, suddenly too tired to even speak. Chris tucked the blankets around him, pulling the poncho around to keep the draft off him. _

"_You go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." _


	14. Chapter 14

All the while Vin had his eyes closed, with Chris thinking he was asleep, all the while Vin was working things out in his mind. He'd gone through a lot of changes in his life. Moving from one place to another. From his mother to his grandparents, buffalo hunters, Kiowa, Commanche, bounty hunter, store clerk, peacekeeper. Each shift took a lot out of him - not just physically. Each time he had to figure out how to fit in, how to get along, how to survive. Each place had a different set of rules and generally there wasn't anybody spoutin' off what those were. He learned early on the best way to get along, to survive, was to keep your mouth shut, and your eyes and ears open. Figure out the questions you'd ask if you could, then be on the lookout for the answers yourself.

So where was he now? What was goin' on? What were the rules here? Baths nearly seemed one of the rules, but the last time he hadn't done it all by his lonesome musta been his Ma.

Well, except for those times just past that Nathan helped him. That was different though. Nathan was an 'old sergeant'. He was a man. He was a friend. Vin wouldn't let a strange woman in peculiar clothes bathe him any more than he'd let Nettie do it.

Where was Nettie?

"Chris?" Larabee still sat in the powerful ugly chair, but he wasn't sleeping now. He had a magazine in his hand, looked like the kind Mary got regular from back East. "Where's Nettie?" he asked when Chris looked up.

"She can't make it in because of the snow. JD talked to her, let her know what's going on. Soon as the doctor says you're strong enough, we'll get a phone in here and you can call her."

Vin shut his eyes fast because that was the only way to hide the fear and panic Larabee's words brought up in him. What the hell was he saying? Nettie wasn't here because of the snow. OK, he could understand that. JD talked to her. But JD was here, or was before. Did he go out in the snow to tell Nettie? JD would do that. Vin knew JD would do that. But what was a _fon_ and how the hell could he call to Nettie from here? What the hell was Chris saying?

Just stay still. Just pay attention. Don't pull notice onto yourself. Don't show fear. This was just one more day, one more place to survive. These were still his friends. They'd all been in to see him, or sit with him a bit. They looked a little different, but they'd cleaned up is all. Must have a really good bathhouse hereabouts. Maybe even in the hospital. Big city hospital. Who knows what they got.

Like ridin' a buckin' horse. Bear down and hold on.

M7*M7*M7

_Cold. Cold. Cold. Vin couldn't remember what it felt like to be warm. Chris'd stripped his damp socks off and rubbed his feet dry with a rag, but it didn't help. Had him take off his pants and shirt so that he was only in his wool thermals and sat him in a chair as close to the stove as he dared with the quilt around him, but it didn't help. Something was wrong but Vin hated to say it. His head pounded, though the tornado in his ears seemed to be letting up, his lungs burned with every breath of cold air, and he shivered so hard he feared for his safety and pride in this creaking chair. But he wouldn't say anything. Chris was doing his best in the circumstances, and the deep set of his face told Vin that he already knew this wasn't good. _

_The others would come. _

_He just had to hold on. _

M7*M7*M7

Chris'd spent enough time around Vin to guess the engine was spinning even though he was pretending to be asleep. Something was going through his mind. Probably - hopefully - working his way through the confusion. Maybe it was clearing. He remembered Nettie. How could he remember some things and not others? How could he remember his friends but claim he'd never seen a blood pressure cuff before? If he was stuck - or hiding - back in the 1800's, he probably thought he didn't even know what a telephone was.

Damn.

Chris leaned forward and put a hand on Vin's arm. "Hey, Tanner. Open up, I know you're awake." Two blue, wary eyes opened. "As soon as the snow lets up and the roads are clear, we'll get Nettie here to you. All right? JD checked on her, and she's safe at home, and she knows you're safe here. Might be tomorrow before she can make it, but I guarantee you, she'll be here. Okay?"

"Okay." Vin nodded. He looked past Chris to the window and a sudden noise from outside. His eyes got wider than Chris'd ever seen anybody's eyes get and his face went white. He stared in absolute shock and didn't seem to be even breathing. Alarmed, Chris turned to the window.

All he saw was a helicopter flying by.

M7*M7*M7

_I'm lost. Oh God - I'm lost and I'll never get home. The snow'll just keep coming and coming and I'll be trapped here and cold and buried in the snow and I'll only be bones the next time anybody finds me and nobody'll miss me and nobody'll even notice that I'm gone and - Vin didn't know where these thoughts were coming from. He knew he wasn't lost, wasn't alone, but the feeling cut into him so fast and hard and real that he almost couldn't breathe. The sudden fear and isolation set on him so real and brutal. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of something else. Anything else. _

_He was startled by hands on him, and opened his eyes again to find Chris crouching in front of him, gripping his arms, and staring at him with plain alarm. "What?" he demanded. Vin nearly heard him. _

_Nothing. I'm okay. Vin thought. Just an odd notion passing through my head that I'm going to die and rot here. It'll go away. But he said. "Home. I want t'go home. I don't want t'stay here. It's cold. It's cold and I'll never get out of here again. I want to go home. I want to be warm again. I can't stand being this cold. I want t'go home." "C'mon..." Chris gently pulled him to his feet. _

_Okay. Vin thought again. But I'd like to get dressed before I make you make me go out into the blizzard again... _

_But Chris led him to the bed. _

"_It's just as cold in the bed Chris, it comes right up through the mattress. I won't get warm in the bed, it's just as cold." _

"_All right, hold on." Chris let go of Vin long enough to spread his poncho over the tick. "Get in, turn on your side, get close to the other edge." _

"_Okay." Anything to get his bare feet off this freezing floor. Once Vin was in the bed, on his side, close to edge next to the wall, Chris blew out the candle - and got into the bed behind Vin. Hey - Vin's mind spun. I like you Larabee, doesn't mean we need to exchange jewelry or anything.... _

"_Chris?" _

"_...get you warm Vin..." his voice was coming in more clearly. "...only other way..." He felt Chris adjust the blankets over the both of them, then he wrapped his free arm around Vin. It was a narrow bed, they couldn't help but be two bodies attempting to occupy one space. Vin wasn't sure he liked it or not. Chris couldn't like it - Vin was shaking so hard he was probably rattling Larabee's teeth. _

"_Can't stop shivering." he apologized. _

"_You will. It'll be okay. Just rest easy." _

_So Vin let his body relax against Chris. A little. Off and on, his body relaxed a little into the relative warmth, then tensed again with thinking he was lost and nobody knew where he was and they'd never find him. The cabin was black in darkness. _

M7*M7*M7  
__

Larabee waited a little while. The shivering didn't seem to be slowing down. If Vin'd just relax, that'd help. But everytime he thought Vin was warming up and drifting off, he'd stiffen up and pull away from Chris. 

"_Ease up Vin." he said. "I get any other ideas, I promise I'll tell you first." _

"_Lost." _

"_What?" Lost what? _

"_Feel like I'm lost and I'll never got home again. I know it's stupid. Just feels like home is a hundred years away from me and I'll never get back there again." _

"_I know Vin, I've felt that way too." He'd positioned himself a little higher than Vin on the pillow, and he spoke his words over the top of Vin's head. "But home is still there, like it always was. We'll get you back there. You're not lost Vin." _

"_Doesn't feel like it." _

"_You trust me Vin?" Chris asked, not because he needed to hear the answer, but because Vin needed to. There wasn't a second's hesitation. _

"_I trust you Chris." _

"_Then ease up and close your eyes. You're not lost." He tightened his grip on Vin. "I know where you are." _

M7*M7*M7

_Lost? Chris wondered at Vin saying that. Feeling that way. That knock on the head must be worse than it looked. Vin was the one person Larabee thought always knew his stead. To think of Vin lost would be like thinking of Nathan indifferent or Buck timid. That person just didn't exist. _

_Still, dying did strange things to a person. Could be Vin more afraid of dying than he let on, and the fear of being lost was the fear of the journey in front of him. Maybe he'd never spent enough time in any one tribe - red or white - to sense enough of any faith to be sure. _

_Maybe he had been headed to the reservation, and maybe that was why. The bedframe dug into Larabee's side and he shifted a little closer to Vin to relieve it. He thought Tanner was asleep, still the shivering kept on, though it was easing, wracking him only every other breath now. _

_Something was strange though. In the past few weeks, Chris'd had to help Vin to his feet, or into a chair or his bed, a dozen times. The frozen body pressed against his in this narrow bed was slight to be sure - but not as slight as he remembered. Even as late as last night, getting him to his room after the card game, Vin was just skin and bones. _

_This Vin wasn't. _

_This Vin? Must be damned tired Larabee. Only one Vin. Just worried about him is all. Too worried to remember every little detail. Gave him a hand every now and again is all. Just remembered it wrong, no more. This Vin was still bony as all get-out. _

_This Vin? _


	15. Chapter 15

"What happened?" Buck asked Chris, as three nurses converged on Tanner's bedside, taking vitals, assessing level of consciousness, attempting to rouse him from his shock.

"I have no idea." Chris watched the proceedings from as close as the nurses - and his own fear - would let him. "I was telling him that Nettie'd be here as soon as she could, then he stared out the window like Armageddon was bearing down on us and turned as white as his sheet."

"What was out the window?"

"A helicopter is all I saw. Figured it was that car accident Nathan was talking about before...don't even say it."

"All right I won't - but it's all we've got right now. Nathan and Becky - hell, every doctor in the place - are up to their elbows in blood and guts in the ER right now."

"'Becky', hunh? Work fast don't you? All right, you round up JD, we'll see if the nurse'll let him try." Buck was off down the hall and Chris turned his full attention to Vin.

_  
_M7*M7*M7

"Vin?" a woman's voice called loudly. "Can you tell me where you are?"

Hell, if I knew that...but his mind raced on, trying to figure out the rules for survival. Where was he? What would they want to hear? They'd want to hear what they'd been telling him all along.

"Hospital." Why couldn't he talk any louder? When did his mouth go so dry?

"Do you know which hospital?"

"_This_ hospital." He tried to sound like he was making a joke, but he was trying to buy himself some time. The woman's eyebrows went up in surprise and a smile turned up one corner of her mouth.

"How about the name of this hospital?"

"Mercy Hospital." Chris'd told him that.

"Do you know what day it is?"

"Yeah."

The lady waited. "Can you _tell _me what day it is?"

"Hell yeah - the day the Almighty forgot where I was and stepped on me." Who was that laughing? Was that Chris? _Was_ that Chris? The woman cocked one eyebrow and tried to crush her smile.

"Monday? Tuesday?" she led. He didn't know, so he shook his head.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Vin Tanner."

"Do you know who I am?" Another shake of his head. She stepped aside a little and pointed. "Do you know who that is?"

"Hell yeah - that's the _Bad_ Element...Chris - Larabee." It almost felt wrong to say that. _Was_ that Chris?

A few more simple tests, following her finger with his eyes, tapping each knee so his foot jumped, squeezing her hands with his own, checking the stitches, the ivy - when she went to check the business side of the _'don't pee the bed'_ Vin felt his face go flame hot and he tried to tell himself he'd suffered worse and he'd remember what just as soon as he could think and breathe again.

"All right Vin, you seem okay now. We'll have the doctor check on you as soon as she's free. If you feel dizzy, or anything out of the ordinary, call us. Okay?"

"Okay." Like hell.

The nurses left the room and Chris came back to the bed. "Scared the hell outta me Tanner...what happened?" and Vin was torn between telling Chris Larabee exactly what was scaring the hell outta him - and keeping everything hid from this man in front of him.

"Water?"

"Sure..." Chris turned to get the glass and straw. Vin drank more than he actually wanted, still buying time. He'd earned his livelihood - and saved his own skin countless times - by knowing people, being able to judge which way they'd jump when pushed. Chris he could usually read just by the set of his shoulders. Not always. Not when Ella was concerned. Guess it wasn't Larabee's _shoulders_ he shoulda been judging by just then.

"So what happened Vin?" and Vin could do nothing but tell the truth.

"Don't know. Got the vapors I reckon. Won't happen again..."

"Vin -" Chris started, but Buck appeared in the doorway.

"Chris? Can I see you a minute?"

"Yeah...I'll be back Vin."

"Uh hunh..." Vin hoped to have some quiet to work this latest devilment over in his mind. He could hide it on the outside - inside he was still shaking. But Chris was no sooner out the door than JD was in.

"Hey Vin - you okay? Heard you blacked out for a minute." Vin didn't answer, didn't know _how_ to answer. "Nurses said you shouldn't even be this awake yet, all you been through."

"Been through worse..."

"I bet you have...nurse said she'd be bringing dinner in for you soon."

"JD -" before the kid got comfortable. "I'm powerful dragged out...you don't gotta sit with me. Just want t'sleep." But damn, the kid wasn't givin' up easy.

"Vin - tell me what you saw that scared you so bad you passed out."

"Nothin'."

"Vin -" JD said again. What was Larabee doin'? Givin' the kid scowl schoolin'? "There's a lot goin' on here is new to you. I know that. Things so new maybe you don't even know how to ask about 'em. But you can ask me Vin. Ask me anything and I promise I'll tell you the truth. Or tell me anything you want Vin, and I promise I'll believe you."

_  
_M7*M7*M7

JD prayed that he was doing the right thing. If seeing a helicopter had freaked Vin out that much, being told the truth on anything else he wanted to know might be information overload. Vin seemed to consider him - and his offer - very seriously. Fear, relief, _hope_ filled his eyes. JD steeled himself to all the possible consequences as Vin took a breath.

"Where am I?"

"Mercy Hospital. Ute City."

"Near Leadville, ain't it?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Been to Leadville once. Couldn't hardly breathe."

"Yeah, took me awhile to get used to the altitude too." JD pulled the chair close and lowered the railing.

"Where're you from?"

"Boston originally."

"And your Ma's dead."

"Yeah." JD took a big chance. "Yours too." But Vin only nodded.

"And Chris lost his wife and son in a fire."

Here JD quickly considered his options. They'd died in a car fire. "Yeah." It was still a fire he supposed.

"Nathan's a healer." Vin went on.

"Yep."

"Buck ain't never met a woman he didn't love."

"Or try to." JD agreed. "That's Buck."

"The only thing bigger than Josiah's heart is the sky."

"Yep."

"And Ezra's Ma's a bigger rip than he is." and JD couldn't help smiling, though he wasn't sure what a "rip" was.

"See, you do remember a lot."

Vin nodded again, and turned his eyes down to the blankets, trying to think what else to ask probably.

"How'd I get here? What happened t'me?"

"How far back you want me to start?" JD asked. Vin shrugged.

"Far as y'have to I reckon."

"Okay." JD quickly edited the story, keeping the truth and leaving out words and concepts Vin might not remember. "You saw a man killed in a fight. The fellas that did it started making threats against you. You found out yesterday morning that they'd been arrested and I guess you went for a ride. We didn't know they'd been arrested though, so when Chris found you beat up, shot in the back and nearly hanged to death, we figured it was them. Guess it wasn't though and all the signs and tracks were blown away in the snow. So unless you can tell us who did it, the authorities don't have much to go on."

Vin took so long to respond to this that JD was about to ask what he thought. But his shoulders squared and he looked level at JD.

"I seen Patrick McIntyre shoot George Wagner in the back for no other good reason than his brother told him to. The trial was over in a day or two and we hung him pretty soon after that. Only his lawyer was his brother and he shot me in the back. Nathan couldn't get the bullet out n'said it'll kill me. Pain n'the dullness kept gettin' worse, so I figured the end was coming. Headed out to the People, figured it'd be easier that way. Brother caught up with me there. Two of 'em. Strung me up to hang slow but the branch broke. Woke up in that shack where Chris found me. Ain't been nothin' right since."

Beyond the bed, JD saw Chris in the doorway, listening to all they were saying.


	16. Chapter 16

_  
_M7*M7*M7

Chris came out of Vin's room and leaned against the wall next to Buck. He closed his eyes and shook his head. His face was hard with worry.

"Well?" Buck asked. "What's he been sayin'?"

Without opening his eyes, Chris laid it out for him: "The year is 1871. Vin is twenty six. He lives in a frontier town just north of the Mexican border where he - and the rest of us - are peacekeepers hired by Circuit Judge Orrin W. Travis. Mary runs the local paper after her husband Steven was murdered by the local bank president. Vin's Ma died when he was five. In his short lifetime he's been a bounty hunter and a buffalo hunter. He lived with the Kiowa and Commanche. He was framed for murder and has a five hundred dollar bounty on his head in Tascosa Texas. He speaks fluent Spanish, though he likes to let on that he doesn't. He writes poetry but he's illiterate. He and I met saving Nathan from being lynched." Chris opened his eyes and looked at Buck.

"The story of how he came to be shot in the back is that the gang is the McIntyre brothers. The eldest, the ring leader, impersonated a lawyer to try to save the youngest from hanging for shooting a man named George Wagner in the back. When the brother was hanged anyway, the lawyer - the brother - shot Vin in the back. A month ago. Nathan couldn't get the bullet out and he tried to find a hospital that would do it. You want to guess what hospital finally agreed?"

Buck searched his memory, frowning in puzzled amazement. "Philadelphia?"

"Did you know that Philadelphia has the oldest hospital in America?" Chris asked. "JD told Vin that just now."

"He came up with all of this since being shot?" The disbelief was evident on Buck's face. "Has JD been tellin' him this side a'the coin yet?"

"Not yet. That oughtta be fun."

M7*M7*M7

_Nothing. Vin opened his eyes and saw nothing. 'Great, on top of everything else, I'm blind now.' But he was warm- that came as a pleasant surprise. The fact that he wasn't alone in the bed did not. Then his eyes adjusted and he could see dimly flickering shadows cast on the wall before him by the fire shining through the cracks in the woodstove. _

_Okay, he wasn't blind. _

_He had his arms crossed over his chest and his fingers curled into fists for warmth. He tried not to move any, didn't want to shift against Larabee behind him. Didn't want to wake him. His arm was still lightly wrapped around Vin, and each breath filled the already paper-thin space between them. _

'_How in the hell did I end up here?' Vin wondered. 'All I wanted was a decent job with nobody around to bother me. Figured I was safe signing on to work Larabee's ranch. Hell, he talks nearly less than I do. Who woulda thought ornery incarnate would have so many friends? Especially so many who wouldn't leave a man in peace and quiet and to his own hurts and memories. No, gotta talk to him till he's nearly deaf from listening and hoarse from answering.' _

_Larabee shifted a little, cleared his throat, and settled back. He moved his arm off Vin slightly, laid it so that only his hand rested against Tanner's back. 'How in the hell did I end up here?' Vin wondered again. 'Outta all of them, how did Larabee get to be the worst when it came to tracing a man through his fears. offering a hand up outta the hell-hole he found himself in? Doing it all without once letting on that he was doing it for anything other reason but himself and the good of his ranch. Damn stubborn man. Had any sense, y'never woulda hired me in the first place.' _

_Vin ran a light finger over the bruise circling his neck. Was a time anybody coulda done anything to him, and no one woulda cared either way. Not even him. What did the doctors call it? Post traumatic stress disorder. Big names and tiny tablets and he was supposed to be fine, go off and find himself a job and not bother anybody anymore. Just check in for refills and updates and everybody would be happy. _

_Then he met Larabee. _

_And the safe, anonymous, drifting life he'd planned for himself got shattered all to hell. _

"_What'd y'ever take me on for?" Vin asked softly, breaking the silence for the first time since nightfall. _

"_Wouldn't have if I'd known you talked so much..." came the tired reply. _

M7*M7*M7

__

Chris and Buck went back in when they heard no more talking. JD was giving Vin another sip of water through the straw. "How're you doing Vin?" Chris asked when he was done and laying back into the pillows. JD gave up the chair and let Larabee sit down. "It ain't true, is it?" Vin's eyes were rimmed red and dark with exhaustion.

"What ain't true?" Chris pulled the chair as close to the bed as he could.

"All that I told JD - all about where I'se born, and everythin' happened to me, and how I met y'all - that all ain't true, is it?" Chris gave a look over Vin to Buck and JD, and the two men left the room, letting the door shut behind them.

"I don't know Vin. It's true for you, isn't it? It's what you know and remember and believe, isn't it?" Chris kept his voice low, hoping to offer an anchor to this man whose world must seem like it was spinning out of control.

"But it ain't what _you _know Chris. Ain't what _you_ remember and believe in, is it?" Then the shock crept back into his face, leaving him white and sweating. "You ain't my Chris, are you? This ain't where I belong is it? Y'all look the same, y'all got the same names an' all, but y'ain't them." He insisted. "Y'ain't them." Chris leaned in, meaning to put his hand on Vin's shoulder, wanting to reassure him, but Tanner threw him off.

"_Don't!_ Don't touch me, don't tell me it's Anna's thettick, or I'se tired or confused. _Don't tell me none a'that._ I been hurt worse, I been scared worse and I always knew who I was n'what was goin' on. _I don't belong here._ You ain't my Chris an' I don't belong here." Vin spat the sentence out low and raspy, daring Chris to deny it.

"Vin-" Chris sat back in his chair and laced his fingers together. "I can tell you what's true for my Vin. I can tell you what I know about him. We can compare, there might even be some spots we agree on."

"I don't belong here." Vin tried again. What could Chris say?

"Even if I'm not your Chris, and you're not my Vin, I'm still Chris and you're still Vin, and those two will _always_ belong together." He waited to see what effect that would have. The distrust in Vin's eyes was unmistakable.

"You - you believe me?"

"I believe you." Chris nodded. "You let me tell you about my Vin?"

"Not yet." Vin said. "I ain't ready for that."

"All right. I saw the nurse making her way down the hall with dinner. She'll be here soon - you eat, maybe get some more rest. Nathan sees you lookin' the way you do now, he'll never let me back in this room."

"My Nathan's the same way." This was offered up hesitantly, watching for Larabee's reaction. Chris kept his face free of anything but interest. "Always 'gotta rest' 'take it easy'. But he's a good man. Don't know what the town'd do without him."

"Or without you, how I hear it. You saved Nathan from lynching."

"Did what I had to do." Vin shrugged it off. "Me n'you...well, me n'my Chris..."

The nurse came in then with his dinner tray. Vin let Chris help him get turned and propped in the pillows, and he eyed the offering in front of him with a brave attempt at resignation.

"Chris?" he asked over the cup of clear soup.

"Yep?" Chris tried to suppress the smile that sprang up hearing the firm confidence in Vin saying his name.

"Y'all got any gutwarmer in this place?"

M7*M7*M7

_"No - God - please -" Vin sat up in the narrow bed, clawing at the rough wooden wall to keep himself upright. The movement jarred Chris out of sleep. _

"_What? What is it?" He swung his legs over the bed, fumbling to light the candle on the wall over the bed as quick as he could. _

"_Where am I? Where am I?" The candle only lit a small space, throwing the rest of the shack further into darkness by comparison. Vin looked at Chris as though he'd never seen him before. "I want to go home. I don't know where I am. I want to go home." With the bed suddenly half empty, he scrambled to keep himself upright. _

"_Take it easy Vin. You're safe." Chris reached out to keep Vin steady. _

"_I'm lost." _

"_No, y'ain't lost Vin..." Chris got him set against the wall with the pillow behind his back. He pulled the quilt and yarn blanket over his legs. "You're safe." Vin looked around, seeing as much as he could in the flickering circle of light. Outside the wind and snow still raged. _

"_Seemed so real." His face was pale and he'd begun to shiver again. _

"_What was real Vin?" Chris pulled the chair to the bed to sit in. "Y'have a bad dream?" _

"_Yeah - I don't know - it was just -" He kept looking around like he didn't know what he expected to see. "You were there, only you weren't. I kept trying to get to you, only I was already there but it wasn't me...and I was lost and if I couldn't get you to find me, I'd never get home again. I didn't know what to do..." _

"_You been through a lot Vin, not just today. You're apt to feel a little outta your place." _

"_Just seemed so real." _

"_I'll get you home Vin. Count on it." _

_Vin watched Chris a moment, then firmly nodded. "I believe you." _


	17. Chapter 17

M7*M7*M7

Chris pushed himself out of the uncomfortable chair and walked to the door of Vin's room. Tanner slept again, deeply by the sound of his breathing, and Chris needed to stretch his legs. The hallways were quiet and deserted, the city still under a State of Emergency for all the snow. Out the windows, the sun had begun to set again in the early evening of mid-autumn. The others were helping out where they could, coming every once in awhile to check on their friend. Josiah came now, around the corner from the elevators.

"How's he doing?" the standard question. Chris pulled the door halfway closed and moved off a little. "Better I guess. Ate his dinner, let the nurse check on him. Still thinks he's from the Old West, but seems to trust me. Not saying anything more about it though. Keeping his own counsel when any medical personnel are around, anyway. Don't think he wants them to think he's crazy."

"He's got a little of that in his history, doesn't he? Not crazy of course, but he's got some psychic wounds there, doesn't he?" The look on Chris' face gave Josiah his answer.

"He told you?"

"Chris - I know what happened to him five years ago. Hell, half of Pitkin County knows what happened to him. I'd be surprised if he didn't have some scars. Could be he's not so far gone that he's trying to protect himself by not letting on in front of the staff."

"That thought occurred to me." Chris let out a tired sigh. "I figured maybe JD was right. We make Vin feel safe where he thinks he is, he'll realize he's safe here too. Maybe if I get him to talk about 'his' friends, he'll come to remember that 'we're' his friends."

"Sounds like a plan."

"What time is it Josiah? I told Mary I'd call her back before it got too late."

"Almost six."

"Well, I better find a phone, maybe get some coffee." Chris gestured over his shoulder. "Keep an eye on him for me?"

Josiah nodded. "I'll keep an eye on him for all of us."

M7*M7*M7

_The night just dragged on. Sitting in the chair between the bed and the stove, Chris couldn't believe how long it was taking for morning to come. Vin didn't seem to notice, or he wasn't mentioning. He was stretched out in the bed, now that he had it to himself and Chris could see in the poor light cast by the stove that his eyes were open. He was looking at something Chris couldn't see. _

"_How's your back?" he asked. _

"_All right. Always seems to hurt, better laying down usually." _

"_Thought it was gettin' worse at night?" _

_Vin tried to remember what Chris might be talking about. Musta been after they harvested that last field of hay. His back had hurt all night that time. "That was just the other day. It's better now." _

"_All right." _

_And they stayed that way awhile, silent and listening to the storm outside and the fire inside. Vin was surprised to see Chris packing a sidearm, slung in its holster over the back of the chair. 'Course, they had guns on the ranch. Rifles though, not handguns. Well, Chris did have some antique revolvers, but that one looked pretty new. But Vin was too tired and too tied up in keeping his feelings of doom at bay to ask about it just now. _

_Chris'd blown out the candle and built up the fire a little more and Vin was warm again under the quilt and on top of the poncho that still gave him creeping concerns. Soon as he got home he was taking the longest, hottest shower on record. _

_Then another concern occurred to him. "Chris? Got anything t'eat? Can't remember last thing I ate." _

"_I'll see what I can find." Chris stood and lit another candle. "Didn't you eat anything 'fore y'took off this mornin'?" _

"_Had a coupla Poptarts..." _

"_Popovers?" Chris asked, a little far away to catch all of Vin's soft words. _

"_Just wanted t'get out and ride. Didn't think to pack anything along." _

"_Thought you were gone for good." Chris came back to the chair with a plate and a couple of apples. He started slicing them up and handed a big piece to Vin who pushed himself up on his elbow. _

"_Thought about it a lot since I signed on." Vin said. "You know that. Guess I nearly was gone for good...weather hadn't kicked up and chased that rat bastard away, he mighta done me in." _

"_Was it the lawyer?" Chris ate a piece of apple. _

"_Think it was." Vin said, taking another bite. "Didn't get a look at him, sure sounded like him though. Hope he's frozen solid somewhere." He chewed awhile, then had to ask: "If you thought I was gone for good, what'd you come after me for?" and Chris stared at him a minute while the question settled on him. _

"_Weather comin' on, still got a target painted on your back, you didn't look in any shape last night to be walkin' by yourself, much less ridin' off to die alone." Chris offered him another piece of apple. _

"_Gettin' tired a'being cooped up Chris. Didn't intend to go and die anywhere, just wanted a ride out by myself. Anyway, what was so wrong with me last night? Think I been takin' this all pretty well, considerin'." He finished the apple and settled back into the rustling tick. "I appreciate it though. You comin' after me. There's not many people'd come looking for me 'less they're after something for themselves." _

"_I can think of five more." Chris reminded him. Vin smiled. _

"_Yeah." _

M7*M7*M7

Vin slept on through the quiet hum of activity; nurses changing his IV and catheter bag, taking away the tray, filling his water pitcher. Each time they left, Josiah turned the overbed light off again and let the hospital room fill up with the darkness, with only the slightest crack of light showing at the partially open door. It was enough light to watch Vin sleep, turned and propped on his side again with pillows and rolled towels.

Tomorrow they'd start getting him out of bed and working with the physical therapist. Tomorrow more people would be coming to talk with him, Nettie and Mary, the local Police and State Police. Tomorrow it might be harder for Vin to keep his balance in this strange world he'd woke up to. Good thing it wasn't a slow news day or the TV and newspapers might think to get to the hospital for a story.

"Mr. Sanchez? How fares our fallen comrade?" Ezra appeared in the rend of light at the door.

"As well as he can right now, Ezra. He's sleeping."

"Excellent news. I thought I might offer you some sustenance for your vigil?" He proffered a bag and Styrofoam cup of coffee.

"Ezra, you're an angel...here, have the chair." Josiah said as Ezra came around the bed. "I need to stand for awhile. Have you seen Chris?" He switched the overbed light on.

"Ah yes. The last I time I saw Mr. Larabee, I expressed an interest in knowing the difference in conformation between a horse bred for work, and one bred for speed. His answer, which I naturally found fascinating, apparently did not hold the same charm for him."

"Sleeping?" Josiah grinned.

"Like a baby." Ezra answered. He turned the chair a little more toward Josiah before he sat down. "I left him under the watchful eye of Mr. Wilmington in the ICU waiting room."

Josiah set cup and sandwich on the windowsill to eat, and leaned against the wall. "He tell you where Vin is right now?"

"Yes..." Ezra cast a look over his shoulder at Vin. "I never cease to be amazed by Mr. Tanner's intelligence and capacity for remembering the smallest detail of what to anyone else would seem the most insignificant piece of information in existence. To have created this entire universe in such a short span of time between being attacked and being rescued - and in the state of mind he must have been in - is nothing short of astounding. And to have it so perfectly ingrained in his mind that he can repeat it from one person to the next and not change one iota of information is beyond comprehension."

"You know what Vin'd say if he heard you?"

"Yes, he'd squint at me, while shaking his head as though tired of attempting to explain something to a dull witted person, and drawl _'I only use it for storage.'_ , referring to his feats of memory. I must say Josiah, I have never encountered any man so determined to downplay his intellectual capabilities. Especially not one so gifted."

"He's come a long way though." Josiah said. "I think he's talked more this past year than he did in the three previous."

"I must concur. Though I wonder if it wasn't an understandable anxiety at the situation he found himself in. Witnessing a killing, continuously threatened with impending malice, enduring repeated adjournments and motions in court. That would be enough to make a saint drink, or a mute speak. How he has kept his equanimity through it all is a testament to his constitution."

"Well, if nothing else, I hope it made him realize who his friends are...hope he's got that ingrained in his memory good and solid. I'm gonna check on Chris. You stay here a while Ezra?"

"Of course, it would be my honor."

Josiah packed out his trash and Ezra turned his chair back. "Of course Mr. Tanner, you show no compunction at all in utilizing your impressive memory in a poker game. I only wish we could compete on teams..."

He passed a quarter of an hour with Vin, watching him sleep and nothing more. Then Vin began to stir. "Chris?" he whispered, not opening his eyes.

"Well, Mr. Larabee is at present across the hall and down a wing. If you have a requirement to which I am unable to attend, I wll be most happy to hasten his steps here."

A beat passed. "Ezra?!" Still not opening his eyes, Vin sounded happy and surprised.

"My reputation precedes me."

"Your jawin' precedes you Ezra. Always does." But when Vin opened his eyes, his expression changed to crestfallen, which did not go unnoticed by Standish. "Leastways, it does with my Ezra."

"Really? I would be most anxious to hear any and all information you have to relate on my counterpart."

"Hunh?" Vin blinked up at him in the artificial light.

"Are you and your Mr. Standish friends?"

"Sure are. He takes on like he could crawfish y'anytime he wanted, just a coffee boiler y'know? But I tell you - he's somebody t'ride the river with." And Ezra blinked in the light.

"Hunh?"


	18. Chapter 18

M7*M7*M7

" '_...then dance nekkid!'" _

Ezra and Josiah laughed heartily as Vin repeated a story told by 'his' Ezra's mother. "Oh yes, your Maude Standish and mine must be related!" Ezra managed to say. "The Good Lord would not be so cruel as to thus mark two independent bloodlines."

"She's a caution, that's for sure. Reckon she's got more grit'n all of us put together though...two..." Vin threw down two of the cards he was holding onto the overbed table and accepted two more from Ezra. "She's gotta good heart though. Stepped right up when we was tryin' t'get the slime killed Billy's Pa. Couldna done it without her...pfft...didn't win last night neither." he laid the cards face down.

"Last night?" Josiah asked, giving and taking one card.

"Yeah - last night? Thought it was last night." Vin thought about it. "How long I been here?" Ezra consulted his wrist watch.

"I should say about thirty-one hours since Mr. Larabee discovered you, minus shall we say an hour? to package you for the trip here and the trip itself. I believe you - 'our' Vin at least - went missing some six hours before that."

"Oh..." Vin frowned. "Guess it was the night before that. We was all playing cards at the saloon. Didn't win one hand. Figured somebody'd let me win seein's I was dying."

"Dying?" Both men stopped their game to stare at him.

"Yeah..." Vin looked from one to the other, wondering if he'd said something wrong. "Nathan said bullet'd likely kill me if it didn't come out. I'se gettin' pains and dullness all up n'down my legs. Said he was gonna look for a hospital'd take me on." he looked around the room. "Reckon he found one...hey Nathan! Just talkin' about you...my Nathan least ways..." Dr. Jackson had appeared in the doorway.

"Hey Vin - how're you doing?"

"Fine as cream gravy...got ourselves a card game going. You want in?"

"No thanks Vin. I need to see Josiah a minute."

"Sure Nate..." though puzzlement sounded in Josiah's voice. He stood and handed his cards to Vin. "Don't let Ezra bluff you."

"Naah, he's just a lotta blow..." Vin said. When Josiah and Nathan left the room, he whispered: "I tell you my Josiah tried t'make a mash on Mz Standish?"

"Do tell?" Ezra leaned closer for the whole tale.

M7*M7*M7

"What's up?" Josiah asked as Nathan led him down the hallway.

"Got something I need to show you. Chris is still sleeping, Buck too. Don't know if I'd broach this with him or not anyway."

"Something serious with Vin?" Josiah was instantly worried. Nathan huffed out his frustration and opened the door that led to the x-ray viewing room. He waved Josiah to a chair and set himself on the ledge of the light board.

"What do you think of the story Vin's making up?" he asked.

"It's creative that's for sure. You take it's parts though, and I think it's like JD said, he's just using parts of his life now to make it up."

"How do you mean?"

"Well - -" Josiah considered. "He says he twenty-six, he was twenty-six when he met Chris. He thinks it's 1871 - he was born in 1971. He says his mother died when he was five - she died five years ago. His Nathan is a healer, you're a doctor. His Chris lost Sarah and Adam in a house fire, it was a car fire. He has a bounty on his head - well, he kinda does, doesn't he? Death threats and all. His Billy saw his father die. Vin saw his mother die." Josiah threw up his hands. "It's all pieces of the same puzzle I'd say, we're just looking at it from a different side."

"Un hunh." Nathan stood up and began flicking on the light board. A dozen different x-rays were already clipped in place. "What would you say if I told you Vin's new x-rays, from last night in the ER, don't match his old ones at all?"

"What?" Josiah stood and studied the films Nathan pointed to. "See here, this Vin got himself an old greenstick fracture on his left radius. Our Vin didn't. This Vin had a little crack in the epiphysis - the growth plate." He answered Josiah's questioning glance. "In his right leg. Our Vin didn't. This Vin's teeth are worn down like he's been eating food with a lotta grit in it, our Vin -"

"Nathan." Josiah interrupted. "This Vin, our Vin. This_ is_ our Vin. How could he not be? Couldn't the x-rays have gotten mixed up with the car accident?"

"No, these were processed 'fore those folks ever came in." Nathan looked over the films again. "I know he's our Vin, Josiah. But if I only had these to go by, I'd say he wasn't the same man at all."

M7*M7*M7

_Vin waited vainly for dawn; finally he could wait no longer. "Dammit all. Figures it's gotta be in the middle of blizzard in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night..." he struggled out of the bed, muttering to himself. He pulled his pants on and found his socks toasting on the floor under the stove. "Haven't had all that much to drink today. Think it could hold on till daylight at least..." He lit the candle over the bed but didn't see his jacket anywhere. His shirt still hung damp over the table so after he got his socks on, he took the quilt off the bed to wrap around himself before he went to brave the elements. "...no boots...probably eight feet of snow out there..." _

"_Where you headed?" Chris asked, sleepily. _

"_See a man about a horse." _

"_What?" _

"_Take a pee, Larabee. That all right with you?" he straightened up painfully. "What I wouldn't give for my Posturepedic right now..." _

"_What?" Chris asked again, getting out of the chair to follow Vin. _

"_Nothing. Back hurts is all. I won't go far, but I gotta __go__..." _

"_You can't go out in this weather Vin." _

"_Yeah - I seen the chamber pot under the bed. I don't whose idea of a joke THAT is, but I don't think so..." he reached for the latch. _

"_What's got into you?" _

"_COFFEE, what d'you think? Outta my way or you'll never spit shine those boots again." Vin pulled the door open and was met with knee deep snow. "Damn." But he took a deep breath and plowed through in his stocking feet. _

"_VIN!" Chris tried to pull him back. _

"_Back off old man and lemme do this...don't appreciate an audience..." he called back when he'd made it to a sturdy pine tree half a dozen yards away. Chris threw up his hands in defeat and turned away. In less than a minute Vin was heading back into the little building. "I'm never wearing button fly jeans again...damn..." He shut the door. _

"_You start shiverin' again, and I ain't gonna get you warmed up. You're on your own." Chris growled at him. _

"_Oh, you love me and you know it." Vin twirled the quilt off his shoulders and back onto the bed. _

"_What?" Chris was starting to seriously doubt his hearing. _

"_What what?" Vin complained back. "I'm not cold. I'm okay." He looked Chris up and down. "Why don't you take the bed for awhile? Mary'll have my hide I bring you back any older'n I took you away." _

"_What kinda medicine Nathan got you takin'?" Chris asked, and was genuinely surprised by the wounded look on Vin's face. _

"_I stopped taking that three months ago. I told you that." His soft voice carried hurt and confusion. He took a breath and looked at Chris as though he couldn't believe he'd say such a thing. "We talked about it - we agreed - how could you ask me that Chris? What the hell is goin' on with you?" Chris tried to interrupt but Vin pushed on. "Just 'cause I got scared a coupla times tonight - hell they weren't even close to full-blown panic attacks and you know it. What the hell is the matter with you? How could you ask me that? I think I been doing pretty well off the medication considering everything that's been going on. How the hell could you ask me that?" _

_When he finally had the chance, all Chris could say was: "Three months? What're you talkin' about - three months? What three months?" _

"_Three months I've been off my anti-anxiety medications." Vin answered loudly, like Chris was hard of hearing. "What are you talking about?" _

"_I'm talkin' about you gettin' shot in the back last month and all the pain you been in." One of them was crazy; Chris wasn't sure right now that he wanted to know which one. _

"_Shot in the back? What're you outta your mind Larabee? I don't know what you been smokin' but -" he turned away and bent over to brush the snow off his feet and legs. His thermal shirt slid up his back - and Chris stared. _

_There was no bullet hole, stitches, or even a scar anywhere on Vin Tanner's_ back.

M7*M7*M7

"How'd you make out?" Chris asked.

"Won the whole bowl!" Vin proudly displayed the plastic emesis basin partially filled with butterscotch hard candy. "You want one?"

"Thanks." Chris picked one out and unwrapped it. "How you feeling?"

"Tired. Nurses n'all have been sayin' I shouldn't hardly be awake yet. But I don't sleep much anyway usually. Back don't hardly hurt all neither, even sittin' up like this."

"That's good." Chris popped the candy into his mouth and rested his arms on the bedrail. "You look like hell, you know that." He pointed to the raw purple and red rope burn on Vin's neck. "How's your throat feel?"

"Okay s'longs I don't poke at it or nothin'. Swallowin's a little slow, but okay."

"Good." Chris nodded and sat in the chair. "Think you'll be going to sleep now?"

"Think - I think -" Vin nervously tapped his feet under the sheet and blanket. " - I think I'd like to hear about your Vin now..."


	19. Chapter 19

M7*M7*M7

_Chris stepped behind Vin to pull his shirt up. Tanner whirled on him. "Get your hands off a'me! What the hell you think you're doing? Don't touch me." _

"_Your back -" _

"_Yeah and this is my front. What's your point?" _

"_There's no bullet hole in you." Larabee sounded almost disappointed. _

"_Well no shit Sherlock. That happens when you don't get shot." Vin snapped. But suddenly Chris looked as lost as Vin had felt just a little while earlier. "Y'all right Chris?" His voice was calmer, worried. "What's goin' on?" _

"_I don't know." _

"_Well, sit down. You're lookin' a might pale." _

"_You were shot." Chris said as he took the chair. "They shot you." _

"'_They'?" Vin looked around for the cup and poured Chris some of the coffee warming next to the stove. "McGinty's aren't known for shooting people." _

"_McIntyre." _

"_McGinty." Vin repeated slowly, patiently, as he handed over the cup. _

"_You saw Patrick McIntyre shoot George Wagner in the back." Chris insisted. "That's how you got that scar on your arm - McIntyre pushed you into a window when you grabbed him and you cut your arm open." Vin pushed both sleeves up past his elbows and showed Chris. _

"_No scar Larabee. I saw Paul McGinty use a broken beer bottle to slice open the jugular of Gerry Watson outside a bar last year." He pulled his sleeves back down and crouched in front of Chris. "When I saw all that blood, and managed to keep my head anyway, I was pretty proud of myself. You said you were proud a'me too." Vin studied Chris' eyes but saw no recall there. "What's going on Chris? I don't understand where you are." _

"_I don't know either." Chris started to take a swallow of coffee, but stopped to insist again: "You were shot." Vin stood up and walked away a few paces. _

"_I don't know what t'tell you Boss. Here I am, and I haven't been shot." He spread his arms and faced Chris. "Had a helluva lotta other things happen to me the past few years, but I never been shot." _

"_You're not Vin Tanner." Chris decided, as though it were the only option. Vin gave him a hard look. _

"_I spent a lotta time and money in therapy, lotta time gettin' things sorted out in my head. Dammit - I know who I am." _

"_You don't even talk like him." Chris was getting a worried look in his eye, and Vin wondered if he should be thinking about that gun that sat just behind Larabee's shoulder. _

"_Then who am I? Tell me. 'Cause if you're not Chris Larabee, I have no idea who you should be." And the question puzzled in Larabee's face. _

"_Y'sound like you been educated." _

"_Huh." Vin moved forward again and sat on the end of the bed. "More education than was good for me, seems like." _

"_I mean book learning." _

"_That's what I mean too." But Chris shook his head. _

"_Vin Tanner can't read. Mary's helpin' him learn. I was tryin' t'help him too." He gave a wary look when Tanner grinned. _

"_Doesn't surprise me you offered to help." Vin said. "You know you're as transparent as glass, dontcha Larabee? Don't say much, but actions do speak louder than words." But he lost the grin when Chris didn't respond. "Couldn't read for a time." he offered. "They called it 'visual alexia' and 'sensory aphasia'. Big words for scared blind I guess." And Chris shook his head again. _

"_Vin Tanner was a bounty hunter, and a buffalo hunter. He lived with the Kiowas and the Commanche -" Larabee's voice was low and deadly. Vin bent his head down to run his hands through his hair, then stood up and paced the dim light in aggravation. _

"_Then I guess I'm not your Vin Tanner, because that sure isn't me." _

"_Then what is you?" _

M7*M7*M7

__

Chris got them both some Jell-O snacks and sat back in his chair to ponder how he was going to tell Vin everything. The first time Vin had gone through it, it left him emotionally shattered and socially withdrawn. Chris hated to risk that again.

"This is real good." Vin said, talking around a spoonful of Jell-O. "Never liked aspic really. Mary tried t'get me to eat it once. Tomato aspic. Pfft." He took another spoonful. "This ain't bad." Dr. Clemens had ordered the catheter removed, which made Vin happy - once the ordeal was over. He was sitting up in bed, dressed in hospital issue pajamas and robe. He still had the IV in his right arm. "So, what is it about your Vin that you don't know how t'tell me?"

"Everything." Chris said, not really surprised that Vin could read him, even now.

"That bad, hunh?"

"Some."

"Then get to it Cowboy. Don't be tuggin' that arrow out in fits n'starts. One strong pull, and there she'll be. Hurts less that way."

"All right." Chris put his spoon and empty container on the overbed table, then sat forward to rest his arms on his knees. "Vin Tanner - _my_ Vin Tanner - is about the smartest person I know." Vin interrupted immediately, shaking his head.

"My Josiah's the smartest person I know. Traveled everywhere. Reads all kinds a'books."

"Well, my Vin has read all kinds of books too. Before I met him, he was going for his Doctorate in Environmental Biology."

"Doctor?" The one part of the one word Vin came close to understanding. "What'd you say?" Chris figured he should try explaining it a different way.

"Vin was going to school to learn how to take care of the land, and the trees, and the water, and all the life that lives there. Lotta land up for grabs out here, and he wanted to make sure the land and the animals got treated decent."

"Hell, don't gotta go t'school t'learn that. That's the sorta thing y'can't learn in books."

"Around here, you can learn some in books, though y'still learn most by being out in the wild. Vin did that too. He loves being outside."

"Y'said, 'before' y'met him. What happened after?" This question made Chris sit back again, chewing the inside of his lip.

"It's what happened in between..." Chris watched carefully for Tanner's reaction, poised to intervene in he didn't know what. "Vin saw his mother die, and it just tore him up inside. For almost a year, he could hardly function at all. They had to put him in a hospital to take care of him for awhile." Vin nodded.

"No kinfolk, hunh? Better that way sometimes."

"No, he's got some kin. Nettie is Vin's mother's cousin. She woulda took him in and glad to do it, but he needed more care than she could give, different care. He needed medicine, and a place to be safe." Chris figured 'suicide watch' might be more than Vin could handle right now. "She went to see him all the time though. Every day. She knew Nathan, and Nathan knew me. And when Vin was ready to come home and start over, he and I talked and we agreed that he'd come work my ranch with me."

"Nettie's kin, hunh?"

"Yep."

"Always felt like she was...heard about them hospitals though..."

"It was different than what you mighta heard of." Chris hurried to dispel any ideas Vin might be harboring from his Civil War persona. "The hospital he was in was exactly like Mercy Hospital, exactly like this one now. Clean, bright - not anything at all like you might be thinking."

"All right." Vin said, though his expression didn't match his words. "So - y'took him on, even though he was busted up inside."

"Yep."

"Don't sound like the kinda fella you'd get a lotta work outta."

"No, he did nothing _but_ work at first." Chris disagreed. "Hardly said three words a day that weren't related to the job. He's got a little set of rooms, attached to the stable. Took ten months before he'd even come in the house to have supper with me. It was like he was using his scars as a shield between himself and anybody else."

"Y'raise horses." A statement, not a question.

"Yeah..."

"So did my Chris. Back before - - before he lost his family. You lost your family too, JD said."

"Yeah, in an accident."

"No, my Chris - weren't no accident." Vin fiddled with the spoon in his hand, wanting to ask the question he didn't want to ask. "So, how did his mother die?" When Chris didn't answer right way, he added: "My Ma died when I'se five. Putrid fever. Was in her throat."

Chris braved ahead, editing the story where he could, where he felt he ought to. "Well, my Vin's father died when he was five. I don't know the details..." _except that he hanged himself _"...and it was kind of rough going for Vin and his Mom for awhile. She put herself through school and became a Social Worker with Child Protective Services." Vin clearly didn't understand this, so Chris explained. "The government hired her to help children whose folks mistreated them. Hurt 'em, neglected 'em. That sort of thing."

"My grandparents were mean t'me." Vin said softly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that. Did your grandparents raise you?"

"Pfft - raised m'self. They just happened to be there." His bitterness carried over into his voice. "Think maybe she knew?" he asked Chris.

"Knew?"

"Your Vin's Ma. Think maybe she knew they was mean to me, and she brought me here, so's y'all could help me?" Chris smiled at him.

"I'm sure that's exactly what happened."

Vin nodded, but didn't smile. "So - how'd she die?" and Chris took another moment to gather his thoughts.

"She was a tough lady from what I hear. She'd go toe to toe with the biggest, meanest, ugliest person there was, if she thought they were mistreating their kids. She'd go to the worst part of the city if she had to, and she'd put the fear of God into those people. One day..." _Mother's Day_ "...she and Vin were going to dinner..." _They always got pizza on Mother's Day _"...but she had to stop first to check on a little girl who'd just been sent back to live with her mother.

"The mother had a new..." _boyfriend_ "...boarder living with her, who was mean to everybody, not just little kids. Vin waited..." _in the car_ "...out on the street for her..." Chris wished he didn't have to go on. "Well, this fella had three pit bulls - dogs trained to kill - and when Mrs. Tanner knocked on the side door, those dogs came barreling outta that house and -" _Lord, do I have to spell it out for him?_ He didn't feel like there was any air in his lungs, but he managed to say it anyway. " - they ripped her to shreds. Vin was only thirty feet away, but by the time he got to her, there wasn't anything he could do. Kept calling for help, tried to beat the dogs off with a board. Nothing worked. Finally a neighbor shot the dogs. But - it was too late."

Vin stared at Chris, wide eyed and silent. His face had gone pale again. "God have mercy." he finally breathed out. "I seen wild dogs, seen what they do - and how they do it. And your Vin saw the whole thing. His Ma." he shook his head and looked away. "God have mercy."

M7*M7*M7

_"She was a real tough lady..." Vin finished his story, arms folded, staring down at the snow melting off his legs. "Took her awhile to die..." _

M7*M7*M7


	20. Chapter 20

M7*M7*M7

_Chris Larabee had no idea what to think. Vin Tanner stood before him - but it wasn't Vin Tanner. The face was the same, and nothing else. Not his voice, not his body, not his unwounded back, and especially not the story he was spinning. Chris'd had a lotta times in his life when he'd doubted what he saw, and sure a lotta times when he doubted what he believed - but he'd never doubted what he knew. And he knew Vin Tanner's tale. _

_There were gaps in it, Vin wasn't one to run on, and Chris wasn't one to pry just for the sake of pryin'. But gettin' the tale just told to fit those gaps would be like gettin' a spike to fit in a pin hole. Couldn't be done. _

_Just didn't fit. _

_Neither of them said anything. Vin stood with his arms crossed, and his head bowed, a puddle of melted snow gathering at his feet. After awhile he turned to stand at the edge of the darkness, staring out the window. _

_And what a story he had told. Chris didn't understand hardly most of the words. Most of 'em didn't even sound like words. He couldn't always follow what Ezra was saying, but at least those sounded like words, and Chris could usually get the gist of what Ezra meant. _

_This Vin's story had him at a total loss. _

_His mother was dead, okay. Chris knew that. Vin'd told Nettie, who told Casey, who told JD, who told Buck who told... But it was putrid fever, not 'pit bulls', not wild dogs. _

_Chris'd seen wild dogs kill. They weren't like wolves or coyotes, or any truly wild animal who killed to eat, to survive. Wild dogs killed just because they liked the taste of blood, and though they were brutal and vicious, they weren't efficient killers. A few times in his life, Chris'd had to put down what was left of an animal that wild dogs had done everything to but kill. _

_To think that it happened to a woman. _

_To think that this Vin saw it happen to his mother. _

_Chris didn't even know if he knew if that was Vin or not. _

'_Play the hand you've been dealt.' The words suddenly came to him. Play along, get a feel for what was goin' on. Play along and get all the information you can. _

"_Y'okay?" Chris asked. It seemed to take a few moments for the words to reach Vin. He only shrugged. "Want some coffee?" _

"_Naah, I'll only have to go out and pee again..." He didn't turn away from the window, seemed like he was watching for something. "They're coming right?" he asked. "You said they were coming?" But then he turned to Chris. "Hell, you don't even know who I am, how you supposed to know if they guys'll be coming looking for us?" _

"_They'll be looking for us." _

_Vin considered this and turned back to the window. "Sure wish morning would come." He was shivering again, Chris could see it. _

"_Y'should sit by the stove, stay warm. Mornin' can't be that too long away." Larabee said. Vin shrugged again and turned to walk the few paces to the bench between the table and stove. "You're not calling me by my name Chris." he pointed out. "You don't believe who I am." He pulled his shirt off the table as he sat on the bench. He held it out to the stove, turning it back and forth slowly to get it dry. _

"_Guess it doesn't matter." Vin went on, before Chris could agree or deny it. "Had all kinds of people in the hospital calling me by my first name. Most of them I didn't know, and they sure didn't know me enough to be calling me by my name." He ran his hand over the shirt, checking to see if it was dry yet. _

"_What hospital?" Chris asked. This fella - Vin? - seemed inclined to be talkative, and talkative fellas tended to spill more'n they intended. _

"_County Hospital. Psych ward. You know, for crazy people? Spent seven months there." He went back to turning the shirt in front of the stove. "Seven months, one week, three days, five hours." _

'_Those are bad places to be." Chris prodded. His gun was just over his left shoulder, he could have it in his hand in a motion if he needed to. _

"_Wasn't bad. Not as bad as I would've thought 'fore I was in there. Clean, and decent food. Nobody was ever mean to me. Nettie was there everyday. Bless her soul, every single day." Vin set the shirt on his lap, looking instead at the memory. _

"_When I was getting better, getting to remember who I was and what happened, I used to hang onto Nettie and beg her not to leave me there. Not that they were mean, or bad people, even the other patients. I was just so lonesome there. Didn't have friends, didn't know how to make friends. Didn't know how to let other people make friends with me. Got a little easier though, the better I got. Not friends, didn't have friends. But it got better." _

M7*M7*M7

__

"Chris? Think I might gonna be sick."

Larabee sat up in the chair and dumped the butterscotch candies out of the emesis basin onto the overbed table. "Here, hold onto this. I'll get you some water." Vin held the plastic container white knuckled in his hand but nothing happened. After awhile he relaxed and accepted the glass of water from Chris.

"Thanks - sorry. Just can't get that outta my head."

"It's understandable Vin. Don't have to apologize." Chris stood at the bedrail.

"Did you know him when that happened?"

"No, didn't meet him till nearly a year later, when he got out of the hospital."

"He had Nettie though, right? He wasn't just alone after that, was he?" Vin sounded desperate.

"Sort of on his own at first, what he's told me. I don't pry much, and he doesn't let on much all at once. I guess he was on his own the first couple of months after it happened. Kept saying he was fine, everything was okay. Wasn't till he collapsed one night and, being his next of kin, Nettie signed him into the hospital."

Vin nodded and drank some more water. "I'se on my own a lot. Most a'my life seems like. Better that way though. A man's gotta travel light, can't do that with too much weighin' on him, not even friendship."

"Always been my experience that friendship is the one thing makes a journey easier, no matter what other burdens a man might be carrying." Chris said, and held Vin's gaze. A high flush settled on Vin's face.

"I been learnin' that, come recent."

M7*M7*M7

_Vin didn't know why he was talking so much. It wasn't like him. Never was. Even in therapy, even for all the talking he did in therapy, there was always great pieces of information he held back. The therapist knew it, Vin could tell. She'd ask leading questions that he'd dodge somehow, sometimes pointedly. There were things he couldn't tell anybody. _

_So why was he spilling his guts to Larabee, when Chris didn't seem to have one damn clue who he was? _

_Because maybe when Chris did remember everything else, he'd forget this. _

"_I was real smart as a kid." Vin started a new thread of his tale. "I mean, 'scuse my ego, but I guess I was always real smart. When I finished first grade, they put me right into third grade. Then when I finished third grade, they put me right into fifth grade. Can y'imagine? A seven/eight year old in fifth grade?" Chris just shook his head slightly. _

"_You can figure how easy it was for me to make friends in that class..." Vin drawled out sarcastically. "I graduated high school when I was fifteen. Graduated college when I was nineteen. Mom was so proud of me." That came out kinda sarcastically too, and Vin looked up at Chris. _

"_Don't get me wrong, my Mom was the greatest. She put her heart and soul into bringing me up after my father died. But learning was real important to her...no, KNOWING was real important to her. She'd tell anybody how smart I was and how well I was doing in school, and what a great memory I had..." Vin dropped his eyes back to the damp shirt in his lap. "Didn't have any friends outta school either. _

"_Once I graduated college - with a dual major no less - I went right into getting my Masters Degree..." his voice dropped. "Had to...Mom wanted me to..." He smoothed the shirt out on his knee, and shifted himself uneasily on the bench. Outside the wind began to kick up. _

"_Used to spend time out at Nettie's place. I loved it out there. She's only got a hundred acres or less, but pine trees and a creek, and wild animals. Used to go out there whenever I could. I was taking classes with people ten or twenty years older than me. Teachers were always making a big deal over me, a lot of 'em would be telling the other people how smart I was, and asking me for answers all the time instead of them. Didn't make any friends there either..." _

_Larabee was watching him, not saying anything. Nodding generally appropriately, but he seemed to be weighing things behind his eyes. Vin thought maybe he'd said enough, maybe too much, but he found he couldn't stop. _

"_I was the youngest person ever to sign on for my Doctorate. Mom was so so proud. You know my whole life at that point was filled with teachers and professors, and scientists and people who wanted to study me and do tests on my intelligence and my memory. All the people in my life who bothered to talk to me were a hundred years older than me. Seemed like nobody ever just had a conversation with me. They were always either talking up or talking down to me. Nobody my own age, nobody who could care less what my IQ is..." He turned to the window as a sudden gust of snow pressed against the glass. _

"_When Mom died - when Mom died -" Vin stood up suddenly, leaving his shirt crumpled on the table. He shoved his hands in his pockets and paced again. "When she died - for the first time, I had my life all to myself." Larabee couldn't even remember who was standing in front of him, what made Vin think Chris cared what his life was like after his Mom died. _

"_I'd never not had somebody telling what to do. Even when I moved into my own apartment, Mom and the teachers and professors and people were still telling me how to live my life so I could accomplish their goals for me. Now all of a sudden there was nobody. Nettie wanted me to come stay with her, but she's not the kind to tell a person how to run their life, you know? I ended up just wandering around the city, usually in the middle of the night. I'd sleep all day and be awake all night. Just wandering around." _

_Something in Larabee's face just then told Vin he might know a thing or two about living like that. _


	21. Chapter 21

M7*M7*M7

Vin watched Chris and Buck through heavy eyes. They stood just a few feet away at the window, talking quietly about horses and snow. Beyond them the mountains were dotted with tiny lights, and Vin felt a sudden ache to be out there.

"Home..." he said quietly. His mouth was dry. Two heads turned to him.

"Hey Vin, thought maybe you were gone for the night." Buck smiled at him.

"Wanna go home."

"Not for a few days yet kid. Becky and Nathan aren't gonna let you outta here for a few days." and Vin turned his eyes to Chris.

"Said you'd get me home."

"And I will Vin." Chris stepped to the bedrail. "But I'm not gonna go through what we did to save you, only to lose you on some dark mountain road 'cause we left the hospital too soon." Vin closed his eyes and turned his head away. "Home is still there Vin, and it's waiting for you to come back."

"Don't like hospitals." Vin said. He'd sure had enough of this one. Had enough of these strangers who were friends.

"Don't blame you Vin." Chris said. Vin felt him lay a light hand on his shoulder. Vin didn't respond. "Keep an eye on him." he heard Chris say to Buck. "I'll be back."

M7*M7*M7

_"Y'can tell me to shut any time Chris." Vin said. "Just 'cause your a captive audience, doesn't mean you got no say." But Chris shook his head. _

"_Seems like maybe you need to be talkin' about it." Chris wasn't prodding now, wasn't trying to keep this Vin talking. Chris could judge a man by how he held himself, the way he laid his words out. Whoever this Vin was, why ever he was here - and never mind the strange words he was using - he carried an honest burden and he was trusting Larabee with hearing it. _

"_That's one of the things I always really liked about you Larabee. Y'always let me say what I wanted, never pushed me for anything more. One word to Judge Travis and you coulda had every bit of information on me there is, but you didn't. You coulda asked Nettie or Casey anything about me, but you never did. You always took me at my word, and never asked more from me than a good day's work." Vin rubbed his hand over his face as though he was tired. "Y'don't know what that means to me." _

_There was a sudden pounding on the door. In one clean motion, Chris was on his feet, had his gun in his hand, blew out the candle and took a long stride to stand in front of Vin, automatically reaching back to sweep Vin into relative safety behind himself. _

_A few long seconds of pounding hearts and aimed weapon, and the noise sounded again, in time with the wind, making a scraping sound as it died down. "Branch." Chris said. He lifted the latch silently with his free hand and pulled the door open a crack. "Branch." he said again and opened the door enough to shove the long limb away from the door. _

_When he turned back, in the flickering fingers of light from the stove, Chris could see Vin's eyes as wide as saucers, and his breath coming hard and fast in his chest. "He's out there - he's still out there..." _

M7*M7*M7

It had been a long day and a half. Nathan found an empty waiting room and an empty couch. Too tired to lay down, knowing he'd never get back up if he was paged, he put his feet up on the Formica coffee table and laid his head back. He had more important things to worry about than why Vin's x-rays didn't add up - still, they nagged at him. Of course, his previous x-rays were from the Psych ward or before, maybe they'd just been misfiled with someone else's, that was all.

Happy that at least one piece of the puzzle fit, Nathan closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

It must've been fifteen minutes, and only fifteen minutes, before he heard footsteps in the doorway. They came, stopped, waited only a second, started to turn away.

"Mise well tell me what you want..." Nathan lifted his head to find Chris trying to leave without disturbing his friend. "Oh - Chris...is Vin OK?"

"Yeah Nathan, sorry. I wouldn't have bothered you - didn't know you were sleeping in here."

"Naah, come on..." Nathan sat up and indicated the empty chair next to him. "What's on your mind."

"God, Nathan. You look exhausted." Chris said as he took a seat. "Have you gotten any sleep?"

"Yeah, off and on." He rubbed the back of his neck. "This is nothing compared to my residency. Those shifts were a nightmare...what's goin' on?"

"JD told me the roads are getting all cleared out." Chris knew Nathan would understand the implications. "Police'll be here tomorrow morning, if not sooner."

"Vin still living in the Old West?"

"Yep."

"Damn." Nathan shook his head. "He's been lucky so far, if you can call it that, lucky that the trial hasn't started. I know only you and me know about him being on the Psych Unit, but that defense attorney will make it the biggest news since Gary Hart..."

"I know - and it'll land him right back on the Psych Unit, won't it?" Chris asked. Nathan ducked his head and tiredly rubbed his eyes.

"I won't lie to you Chris - yeah, I expect it will land him smack dab back there." Pain and frustration settled on Larabee's face. "Chris - let's give him another night before we jump to conclusions. Could be a good night's sleep will bring him back to us."

"And if not?" Chris demanded. "Can't damn well stall the authorities."

"Chris -" Nathan spread his hands in a gesture of resignation. "If tomorrow morning Vin is still in 1871, maybe he _should_ go back...hear me out..." Nathan stood as Chris did, Larabee about to storm off.

"Think about it Chris - he's had a year of waiting for his whole mental and emotional history to be front page news. He's had a year of reliving Watson's murder - and his Mom's death - over and over. He's had two months of death threats and two long days of serious physical injury and hospitalization. If any one man deserved an emotional vacation, it has to be Vin." Chris didn't answer and Nathan put an understanding hand on his shoulder.

"Let's give it at least till tomorrow morning, okay Chris? Let's not go borrowing trouble."

M7*M7*M7

_Chris hung his poncho over the window to block the light going outside. No sense advertising their whereabouts with even the little light coming through the cracks in the stove. Vin sat on the bench with his head in his hands. As Larabee took his own seat again in the chair, Vin took a deep breath and straightened up. Reaching for the plate of apples behind him, he pulled his pocket knife out of his back pocket. _

_Chris' eyes went from the knife to his face. _

"_You worried 'cause you don't know me?" Vin asked. "Or 'cause you do?" and Larabee had no answer. "I've got no intentions a'using this on anyone or anything in this cabin but these apples." He opened his knife and cut a few hunks off. He offered one to Larabee. "Never serious about doin' it you know. Sure talked about it a lot though..." _

"_Your Ma." Not a question. Larabee's eyes and ears told him this wasn't the Vin Tanner he knew - but something else just now had told him different and made him step between this man and possible danger. _

"_My Mom..." Vin nodded. "Lotta things..." A piece of apple went down wrong. He coughed and rubbed his throat. "Never told you - pretty soon after they planted Mom's ashes, I started not being able to read anything. First it was really big words, then whole paragraphs and pages. Finally I'd be out walking at night and not be able to read the street signs. Everything just shut down. _

"_Can't tell you how fast academia dropped me once I wasn't their "golden child" anymore. All of a sudden, I had nobody. Nobody to talk to, nobody to ask questions. Nobody to tell me what to do or not to do. Nettie kept asking me to her house, but I didn't want to. Afraid of it, you know? Afraid of letting her know anything was wrong with me. _

"_Just kept getting worse. Just kept wandering around, looking for I don't know what. Finally one night I got lost and tried a short cut through an alley, backed up against people's yards. One yard this big huge dog came running up to the gate, barking and snarling like he woulda...woulda..." Vin coughed again and pressed his hand to his neck. When he spoke again, it was a hoarse whisper. "Scared me so bad I pissed myself...they found me twisted up like a pretzel, screaming my fool head off. Wouldn't shut up till they dosed me with the biggest sedative I think is legal. That's when they put me in the hospital, and it was seven months later I met you." _


	22. Chapter 22

M7*M7*M7

"Buck?"

"Should be asleep Vin, goin' on midnight."

"Tell me about him?"

"Tell you about who?"

"Tell me about your Vin?"

The lights were off in the private room, Chris stood outside the open door, listening to the conversation going on inside. He sent up quick, earnest prayers that by tomorrow morning, Vin would be 'his' Vin again, and not wandering lost in another century.

M7*M7*M7

Buck kept the lights off as Vin turned a little to face him. He wasn't sure he could refer to Vin as anything but Vin. His Vin. "What would you like to know?" he asked gently.

"He as smart as Chris was sayin'? Bein' a doctor like Nathan?"

"Not like Nathan, but yeah, smart as a whip."

"How'd his family die? Chris' family? My Chris - his wife n'son died when their house burned down. They's murdered."

"No, Chris' family died when the car they were in got hit by another car and burst into flames." Buck said patiently. "They couldn't get out and they died. That happened a few months after your Mom died."

"Why'd Chris ever take that fella on?" Vin asked after a moment. Pondering maybe on "car", maybe on "your mother".

"Well, if you ever riled Chris, you wouldn't believe it, but he's got a real soft heart. When he first started dating Sarah, then when they got married, I couldn't believe the change in him. Holding doors, worrying about the weather, calling her to make sure she got home. 'Course, all done with that gruff Larabee growl, like it was puttin' him out. Then when she was expecting and had little Adam - well the sky just didn't rain unless it had Larabee's say so." Buck grinned, but then his e xpression darkened.

"When they died, he was lost. Wouldn't admit it of course. But he was just lost. Didn't sleep, didn't eat hardly. Just about killed himself working on the ranch to keep from having nothing to do. I was so worried about him, but I couldn't figure how to help him.

"We both known Nathan a long time, he called Chris one day. Told him he knew a young fella needed a home. That's what got to Chris I think. Not a job, not a place to live. You needed a home and he'd been wandering a good six months alone on that place of his. Gave him something to do, something to look forward to again, finally. It was a week or so till you were coming. He was buying paint and sprucing up that little place of yours like the Queen herself was coming to stay." Buck let the words sink in, then added "I think you saved his life."

M7*M7*M7

"You had a job working in the mountains." Buck was telling Vin. He'd switched on the overbed light. "Working in the National Park. You were a trail guide for people going trail riding for a day or overnight or a week. You know, people from 'back East' coming so they could say they had an adventure out in the 'Wild West'."

"Damn tenderfoots." Vin spat. "Come out to God's own country 'cause they gotta lay their eyes on land where there ain't been a tree cut or a spike driven since forever. First thing they gotta have roads so they don't gotta walk. Gotta have buildings 'cause they're afraid to sleep outside. Gotta have trains so it don't take so long to get from one place t'other. Why the hell they ever leave East for then? Seems all they did was tote it with 'em."

"I know. I agree with you kid. That's what you were taking your Doctorate for. To keep the tenderfoots from cutting one more tree or driving one more spike. You care a lot Vin. Especially about people and things that don't have a say, or can't stand up for themselve. Reckon you get that from your Mom." It was past midnight now, the hallways were darkened and quiet.

"Where d'you think he is?" Vin asked suddenly.

"Who?" Buck looked up as Larabee came into the room then. Vin turned to Chris as he answered.

"Vin - your Vin. If I'm here, where d'you reckon he is?"

Chris walked up to the bed and looked down at Tanner. Very seriously, and believing he was telling the truth, he told him: "Trust me,_ my _Vin is with _your_ Chris..."

M7*M7*M7

_"Well, if you're not gonna take the bed Chris, I'm gonna lay down again for awhile." Vin folded his knife and tucked it back into his pocket. _

"_You should take off them trousers, they're still damp from the snow." If Chris hadn't seen his back, seen that there was no bullet hole there, would he still be thinking this was his Vin? And if this wasn't his Vin Tanner, who was it? _

"_Yeah, lotta things I should do..." Vin sat on the edge of the bed to pull off his socks and shuck his pants, and lay them on the floor in front of the stove. "Wake me up if it ever gets to be daylight, will you?" He turned in on top of the yarn blanket and pulled the quilt up over his shoulders, rolling over to face the wall again. _

_Whether or not this was 'his' Vin, this guy sure must figure this was 'his' Chris. Felt comfortable enough, safe enough, to turn his back on an armed man and go to sleep. From the sound of it, if he was telling the truth, this Vin hadn't had a lot of people in his life he trusted. Least not a hell of a lotta people he could let his guard down around. _

_Couldn't let your guard down much more than falling asleep, could you? _

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When morning rose again over Mercy Hospital, the halls saw more activity than they had for a couple of days. The blizzard was over, and the major streets were plowed. Staff began reporting for duty, new patients made their way to the ER, one or two at a time. From Vin's window, Chris had a direct view of the main driveway to the hospital. Police would be coming now, to have Vin fill in the gaps of what little story Chris had been able to tell them the day before yesterday. Tanner slept behind him, not knowing what he'd be facing sooner or later this morning.

Maybe they could stall the authorities - truthfully though. Well, truthfully as much as possible. Vin's body was one big bruise, top to toe. He'd been hanged and near froze to death. He'd been shot in the back and gone through major surgery, and woke up having a reaction to the anesthetic. Couldn't blame a man for being a little confused after that, could you?

Confused - no.

Time travel was another matter entirely.

A nurse came in to take Tanner's vitals and check his IV. Chris watched Vin blink the sleep away, gauging the face of the overly perky woman who had abruptly awakened him.

"How did we sleep?" she asked. "I guess we didn't have a bath yesterday, hmm? Well, we do need to get a bath today." By her voice, she was a woman who didn't appreciate - or expect - dissension. "Just as soon as we eat breakfast we'll-" so no doubt she was thoroughly unprepared for the the rough voice demanding:

"What's with the 'we' crap? Been on my own a whole long time lady and don't recollect ever seeing 'we' get me through none a'the shit been shoved down my throat since I can remember so 'less you wanna end up wearin' that bath water 'we' was talking about, I reckon y'better find somebody's got nothin' better to do than let you boss 'em around. I gotta right t'not get a bath and you know it."

She stared at first, and Chris had to turn back to the window fast to keep her from seeing his grin. Finally she huffed a little and finished her task in silence. "Your breakfast will be here soon." She sounded angry, and left the room a lot less perky than she'd come in.

"Hunh, wonder what '_we're'_ having..." Vin grumbled. Chris was still grinning as he walked to the bed.

"Feeling better, are '_we'_?" he had to ask. Vin nodded and grinned, then his face changed to serious.

"I got the right, right? You said I got the right t'not have a bath iffen I don't want one?"

"You got the right to not do or have done to you anything you don't want. You have the right to refuse anything. Not just a bath." Chris told him. Vin nodded firmly and pulled the blankets up a little further, and Larabee added: "But you really _do_ need a bath..." and laughed at the glare the injured man shot at him.

But they had serious things to talk about, and they should just get to it.

"Vin - the police'll be here soon to ask you about the attack."

"Police?"

"Yeah - the local authorities. The law in these parts. They've been doing the best they could what with the blizzard and not being able -"

"Ain't y'all the law around here?" Puzzlement mixed with concern.

"No Vin. We're not the law in this town. The police are the law and they'll want to talk to you about what happened. I'll be honest Vin, they're going to want to talk to my Vin. You start talking about where you're from and what year it is and saying it was the McIntyre gang and not the McGinty's -" Chris hated to say it, but he had to. This was going on too long and he wanted his Vin back. "Vin, they're liable to put you back into that hospital thinking you're my Vin and outta your head." The prospect frightened Vin, he could see it in his face.

"_I ain't your Vin." _Chris sighed. "Then we better find him soon."

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	23. Chapter 23

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_Vin was sleeping - he was snoring softly into the cornshuck tick, trusting Chris to keep him safe. He thought his attacker was still out there - whether it was a lawyer named McIntyre, or one named McGinty - and this Vin Tanner was trusting this Chris Larabee with his life. _

_In more ways than one. _

_The man didn't seem like a fool. He didn't try to change his story to fit what Larabee maybe wanted to hear. He knew who he was - whoever that was - and he seemed pretty sure who Chris was. A friend, someone he could trust. Someone he trusted to keep him safe and get him home again. _

_Wherever that was. _

_Well, whoever he was, and wherever home was for this Vin, Larabee was never a man to betray a trust. He'd keep him safe, and he'd get him home. _

_Whatever it took, he'd get him home. _

_Chris walked to the window and stood on the far side away from the stove to lift the poncho and take a look outside. A thin gray line split the black distance. _

_Morning had finally come. _

M7*M7*M7

"Can't I just have me some coffee?" Vin asked. Even squinting didn't make the food before him anymore appealing.

"There's coffee in the cup." Chris said without looking up from the paper he was reading.

"That ain't coffee, that's just brown water..."

"It's what passes for coffee hereabouts..."

"Hmm, 'passes' all right, tastes like horsesh - Nettie!" Vin knew it wasn't his Nettie coming through the door, but he couldn't hold back his delight in seeing her.

"Honey! You're a sight for sore eyes!" She came right up to the bed and wrapped him in a strong hug. Vin wondered, not for the first time, why people hereabouts liked to touch so much. Handshake, pat on the back, foot up if needed - served him well all these years. Hadn't been handled so much since that last time he spent four bits and two glorious hours with Eight Finger Annie. What she lacked in pinkies she sure made up for in -

"Let me look at you boy." Nettie's voice cut quick and definite into that little woolgathering. Vin felt himself blush, hoping this Nettie couldn't read his mind or his face. She stood back from him. "Well, they sure meant business, didn't they?" she finally said, gently touching the bruises and gashes on his face.

"Yes Ma'am." and Nettie gave him a questioning look.

"They been treating you all right here honey? You're looking a mite pinched." Vin didn't answer and Nettie looked over the bed. "Chris - something going on I should know about?"

"Nettie -" Vin started. The fellas in this place were more or less like his friends back home, so Vin figured Nettie'd be practically the same. Still didn't help him figure how to tell this Nettie that he wasn't her Vin. She watched his face.

"I told you before Vin, I'm like the earth - no way around me. You've never been able to hide so much as a whisker from me before, don't think you're going to start now." Chris stood up from his chair and came to stand opposite Nettie at the bed. "I can tell her if you want Vin." he offered, and Vin had a fleeting concern of _what_ Chris would tell her.

"You believe me, don't you Chris?" he needed to know that.

"I believe you Vin." Chris told him firmly and without question. Vin nodded.

"I can tell her then."

"All right. You want me to stay, or you want some privacy?" Chris watched the look on Nettie's face grow more and more concerned.

"Need t'do it in private I think. I'd 'preciate though if you didn't go too far."

"I'll be nearby."

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_Morning seemed to be taking just as long to come on as night had taken to leave off. That gray distant streak had hardly increased by half the next time Chris checked out the window. Hell of a lotta snow to get a horse through. The men would be lookin' for them though. He knew that. Take more'n snow and howling winds to keep them from looking. Hell, JD probably never gave up searching, even with the snow comin' down in bales. Even if the weather drove him to hole up somewhere, Chris knew JD's mind would be searching still, thinking of every cabin, crook, or cave he knew about, and mapping out the best way to get to each and every one of 'em. Sometimes that boy was so busy thinking, he didn't stop to think. _

_Chris looked back to Vin still asleep in the bunk. He'd turned over, was facing the stove now, quilt still pulled high. Chris sat in the chair again, and looked down at this Tanner. If 'this' Vin was here, where was 'the' Vin? Chris stopped just short of thinking 'his' Vin. Tanner'd probably get his back up to hear somebody claim him as 'theirs'. _

_But maybe he wouldn't at that. _

_  
_M7*M7*M7__

After awhile, Chris got to contemplating a visit to that tree out front, but it was still dark, and Vin's - 'this' Vin's - feeling that his attacker was still out there kept him cautious, and close to the cabin door while he took care of one of the designs of nature. Then, with the door shut and the poncho still in place over the window, Chris laid some more wood into the stove. 

_On the bed, Vin twitched. A sound, turned up at the end almost like a question, drifted from him. He twitched again. Dreaming. Chris wished he could see into the dream, maybe get a better idea what was going on here. _

"_Mom? Mom - wait?" _

_Uh oh. Bad dream. Chris closed the door on the stove and moved to wake him, but Vin sat bolt upright. _

"_MOM!! MOM DON'T!! COME BACK!! DON'T GO THERE MOM!!!" He gasped then, awake, but still seeing something not in the room with them. "God - Mom - please -" He was out of the bed so fast Chris couldn't stop him, heading for the door, trailing the quilt behind. "Don't hurt her! Leave her alone! Mom! Please God - please!" _

"_Vin -" Chris laid a hand on his shoulder. When that didn't stop him, Chris grabbed his arm. "Vin - where y'headed? You're not even dressed." He raised his voice to try to be heard over the other man's yelling. _

"_Help her! You've gotta help her!" Vin struggled to break free of Chris and reach the door. "Can't you hear them? They're out there -" _

"_Vin - nobody is out there." Chris had to put both arms around Vin and haul him backwards to keep him from rushing out into the snow barefoot and wearing only longjohns. "Nobody is out there." he said again harshly. Vin struggled even harder. _

"_Can't you hear them? Chris - God - please! Chris please help her! Can't you hear them - they're killing her. They're killing her." He broke free then and got as far as touching the latch on the door when Chris got hold of him again. He turned Vin to face him and shook him. _

"_Nobody is out there.__" Chris watched his face to see if it was getting through. "Listen! Listen - there is nothing out there. Nobody is out there Vin." He had to say it. "Your Ma is gone already..." and Vin stopped yelling then. Stopped struggling. The only sounds he heard were the wind and his breath. Abruptly he pushed away from Chris and grabbed his clothes off the table and floor. _

"_What're you doin'?" Chris demanded. _

"_Gettin' dressed." Vin snapped back. He pulled on his trousers and shirt, then sat in the chair to put his socks on. _

"_You're not goin' outside." _

"_So? Can still get dressed, can't I?" He sniffed and hastily scrubbed a hand across one eye, then finished getting his socks on. He buttoned his shirt with shaking hands, then stood to tuck it in. _

"_Vin? Vin -" _

"_WHAT?" Vin shouted, exasperated more with himself than Larabee. _

"_You misbuttoned the shirt." Chris pointed out. _

"_Hunh? Oh...oh..." Vin pulled it out and stared at it, but didn't fix it. He sank back into the chair and rested his head in his hands. _

M7*M7*M7

Nettie stared at Vin. He'd spun quite a few tales to her in his lifetime, but the biggest involved a close encounter with Bigfoot when Vin'd gotten lost and been out all night the summer before he started middle school. This was an even bigger tale. But told no doubt for the same reason. Because Vin had gotten lost and wandering, and needed some way to explain it. This time though, he was trying to explain it to himself.

"Honey, you know you're safe here, don't you?" Nettie drew on her experience of Vin being on the psych unit. Repeating now words she'd had to say to him every single day at first back then.

"Yes Ma'am."

"You know I'll never leave you, even if I'm not right next to you, you know I'm with you."

"I know that Nettie."

"And everybody here only wants to help you get well."

"Yes Ma'am."

Then Nettie added one more she hadn't had all those years ago. "And you know each one of the boys would give their lives to help and protect you." Vin nodded and swallowed.

"You too I bet."

"You got that right. Oh honey..." Nettie pulled him into a hug again, resting her cheek on his head. She rocked him tenderly, feeling him thinner and more frail than the last time she'd held him. And Lord, he needed a bath. But just as she was about to mention that, she felt his arms steal around her waist and he settled against her with a soft, heartfelt sigh.

At that moment, nothing else mattered.

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_Chris sat crosswise on the end of the bed, leaning his back against the wall, knees pulled up. In the relative darkness, Vin could feel Larabee's eyes on him. He didn't sense wariness or fear in the steady gaze, but concern. He turned toward him. "I'm sorry - been awhile since I couldn't tell what was dreams and what was real." _

"_Nothin' to be sorry for. I know something about nightmares." Chris said. "The sleepin' AND the wakin' kind." Vin nodded his understanding and gratefulness. As he turned back, his eyes lit on the gun laying within reach of Larabee's right hand. _

"_I had a gun and a rifle I carried with me when I was a trail guide...wish I'd had one of them with me when she was attacked..." _

"_So you coulda shot the dogs." Chris said, thinking of wild dogs attacking a defenseless woman. But Vin shook his head, thinking it'd been too late that day, before he even stepped foot out of his car, too late to save her anything but those final horrifying moments of savagery. His voice caught when he answered. _

"_So I could've shot my mother." _

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	24. Chapter 24

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Nettie held Vin for a good long while. He fell asleep, nestled there against her. It wasn't the way he'd hold onto her those first weeks on the psych floor whenever she had to leave. Then he'd held on out of fear, desperate for one familiar loving face to be there in the scary places he couldn't figure out. Now, it wasn't safety that he sought, but comfort, plain and simple. He was in a strange place again, but it didn't scare him. He said he wasn't 'hers', but he recognized her. He accepted her embrace the way he always did. She softly stroked his back and laid a kiss on the top of his head.

This was 'her' Vin, and she'd get him home, safe and sound.

M7*M7*M7

Chris came back into the room after awhile. Nettie smiled at him as he came around the bed to find Vin still neatly tucked into her arms, soundly asleep. "Our boy's got himself a mite turned around." she said softly.

"That he does Nettie."

"Have the police been to see him yet?"

"No, guess they're on their way now. Ought to be here soon."

Nettie tightened her hold on Vin, as though that could protect him from what she knew must happen if he talked to the police in this state. The movement nudged Vin and he woke up, blinking up at Nettie. He smiled when he saw she was still there.

"Well good morning again, honey." She brushed the hair out of his eyes and couldn't hide the stress in her voice. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Yeah." he sat up and away from her. "Dreamed I was back home." He stretched as much as he could, and saw that breakfast was still waiting for him.

"What did you dream about home?" Chris asked and Vin sighed.

"Dreamed I had real food."

M7*M7*M7

_Vin stayed slouched in the chair. He worried now that maybe he shouldn't have said that to Larabee, about shooting his Mom. Chris not remembering really who Vin was, didn't want to make him worried. Not good to worry a man with a gun. But he didn't make any move toward getting the gun in his hand, or telling Vin to keep his hands where he could see them, or anything like that. So maybe it was okay. The real Chris was still in there, and from their first meeting they'd trusted each other. No matter what was going on here, Vin knew that wouldn't change. He looked up as Chris stood and checked out the window again. _

"_Growing daylight." Larabee said. He didn't sound as happy as Vin thought he oughtta be. _

"_Isn't that a good thing?" he asked. "Means the others will be able to find us." But Vin didn't like the look on Larabee's face. _

"_You said before you think 'he' is still out there?" Chris said. It sent a chill through Vin that had nothing to do with the temperature. He thought about lying, but couldn't. _

"_Feels like it." That was all he had to go on, a feeling. But Chris nodded and took the poncho down. _

"_We'll keep watch then." _

M7*M7*M7

__

At Nettie's insistence, Vin ate his breakfast, telling himself he'd had worse and knowing he'd had better. Chris left, saying he had to call Mary and he'd be back. When Vin was done he took a long drink of water to wash the taste from his mouth, then lay back in the pillows.

"Now, was that so bad?" Nettie asked, as she straightened the blankets and took his hand. "All that fuss, you'd think I was asking you to eat rattlesnake."

"I done _had_ rattlesnake afore, Nettie. Damn sight better'n whatever that was."

"I don't tolerate cuss words young man."

"Yes Ma'am." This Nettie sure was a lot like his Nettie.

"Honey, I've got to ask you something..." Nettie put her other hand on his shoulder. "If this isn't where you belong, how do you think you got here?" It was a question Vin had been avoiding asking himself. If he couldn't figure how he got here, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to figure how to get home again. Chris said he'd get Vin home, but Vin didn't want to leave anything to chance if he could help it.

"Reckon I don't rightly know, Nettie. Been so busy trying t'figure how to survive here, ain't had time to put my mind to anything else."

"Survive?"

"Came within an angry mule's kick a'havin' a bath - twice." Vin told her, not wanting to share all of his fear with her. This Nettie was a lot like his Nettie, but she _wasn't_ his Nettie, and Vin felt a sudden ache to be back with _his_ Nettie, _his_ friends, _his_ home. The bullet was out, so now he could go home.

"But - me'n Chris was talking. He was telling me about your Vin's Ma, how she took care a'kids been mistreated. I got t'thinking maybe her and my Ma was talkin' - in Heaven, y'know? Thinkin' maybe his Ma got me here so's they could get the bullet out and I wouldn't die. And maybe, maybe there's something my Ma figured your Vin needed that he could get with my Chris and my friends. Something maybe he might not a'survived here?"

Something flashed in Nettie's eyes then, something that told Vin he was on the right trail. He wanted to ask her about it but the door opened and a lady came in. Vin just didn't understand the clothes that ladies wore hereabouts, didn't none of 'em wear dresses?

"Mr. Tanner? I'm Lyn, you're Physical Therapist. How are you today?" She was cheerful, though not as brisk as the nurse had been. Still Vin looked her up and down.

"Don't know." he answered her. "What d'you want?"

"Well, I'm here to make sure you get all your strength back after surgery...I have some exercises for you to do, and I'm going to take some measurements."

"Don't fancy bein' touched." Vin tightened his grip on Nettie's hand.

"It won't take very long Mr. Tanner, and your Mom can stay if you'd like." That made Vin smile, thinking that his Ma_ was_ there, and would always be there. He nodded.

"All right then."

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_Chris stayed in the corner to keep an eye out the window. He'd turned the damper down to let the fire go out in the stove, and the inside of the cabin darkened into layers of gray in the reluctant dawn. Outside the cabin nothing moved. _

"_Chris?" _

"_Yeah?" _

"_You remember when I got bit by that bat?" _

"_Bat?" Chris briefly turned his attention from the window. With the only source of heat gone, Vin sat cross legged in the bed, with the quilt wrapped around him. _

"_Yeah, remember? It was early October, the first October I was with you. Nettie was gone off to San Francisco with Casey for her eighteenth birthday and I was watching her house for her. A bat got into her upstairs hallway, in the middle of the night. I was trying to get it out and it bit me on the hand." _

"_Shouldn't be messin' with bats." _

"_Tell me about it. Couldn't leave it in the house though. Poor thing could hardly fly, making funny noises, came right at me." _

"_Vin - that bat had rabies." _

_It took a second for Vin to realize that it was the first time Chris had called him by his name all day and night. "I know..." he said. "Believe me, I know." _

"_If you got bit and that bat had rabies -" _

"_Naah - I got it taken care of. They got real easy shots for it now, not like it used to be. But you remember? I drove myself to the hospital from Nettie's, had the bat in a brown paper bag." Even in the gray semi-darkness, Vin could see that Chris had no idea what he was talking about. Maybe that was a good thing. _

"_Anyway - I never told you - I thought about telling you, but I didn't really know how..." _

"_Didn't tell me what?" Chris asked. His attention was completely drawn away frm the window. _

"_I was scared." Vin admitted. "I hate hospitals, hate the smell of them, hate the sounds of the machines, and the way everybody talks like nothing at all is wrong no matter what all is wrong. I was scared being there, all by myself. Times I ever had to go to the hospital, my Mom was always with me. Or Nettie. I was afraid they'd look at my records and lock me back up. _

"_The hospital called Nathan, he said he'd be right there. He called you first though, I didn't know that. So I was sitting there, hearing all the bad things about rabies, looking for a way out in case they came at me with a net, people talking to me like they thought I was still loco and needed to be handled like glass." Vin adjusted the quilt around his shoulders, giving himself a chance to get his trembling voice under control. _

"_I was sitting there scared, real scared, and one minute I looked up and you were standing there. Right there in the examination room with me. You got there even before Nathan did. Nobody asked you to come, not me and not Nathan. He just called to let you know and you came, in the middle of the night because -" and Vin had to stop again to adjust the quilt. " - because you were worried and wanted to make sure I was all right. _

"_Seems like I never had anybody worried about __me__. You know? I mean, not Mom or Nettie 'course. But just anybody else - if I got sick or hurt, always seemed like they were more worried about some project or plans they had getting wrecked. _

"_So - I never told you -" he went on. "Reckon you'll think it's foolish, and I guess it is - for the longest time though, if I'd start feeling scared, or worried, or missing Mom a lot, or any thing like that, I'd remember how I felt looking up and you were standing there. Looking at me like you were worried, like you cared that I was okay and it was no big thing to you to come out in the middle of the night to make sure of it." Vin wished Chris would say __something__. "That was the first time in my life I felt like __I __mattered, not my brain or my skill or what I could do for somebody. Me, just me. I never felt that way before." _

_Finally Chris spoke, his voice ragged. "I said it before Vin, there'll always be a place for you at my fire, and for one reason only - because you're my friend." Vin ducked his head, unable to answer that. A broad finger of daylight shone through the window then, and Chris turned to look outside. _

"_Vin." The stern tone made Vin lift his head. Larabee's entire posture had gone stiff. He lifted his gun and pulled the hammer back, and went to the door. "You stay here. You hear gunfire, get on the floor and stay as low as you can." With that, Chris slipped out the door. _

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	25. Chapter 25

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"Mr. Tanner, are you aware that you have a leg length discrepancy?" The Physical Therapist asked. She'd been measuring and scribbling for some time now.

"What's that mean?" Vin countered. Where was Ezra when you needed him for all them big words?

"It means that your left leg is longer than your right leg, nearly three eighths of an inch." She checked her measuring tape and notes. "That's a rather significant difference. Do you have back pain at all?"

"Hell yeah -" With a quick, apologetic look to _this_ Nettie who had a frown exactly like_ his _Nettie, he went on. "Since I'se sixteen or so I reckon. Was after that fella broke my knee, seemed like it started. Always feels better iffen I can rest m'self against something, take the weight off my left leg. That 'descrepit' thing cause that?"

"I wouldn't be surprised. I can have your doctor order a shoe lift for you, that ought to help take the strain off your back..." She set her tape and scribbling aside, and flipped the sheet back off Vin's feet. "I'm going to push against your foot, and I'd like you to push back as hard as you can..."

"Vin?" Nettie interrupted. "I'll be right back - I want to have a word with Nathan."

"Okay." Vin answered, a little puzzled. Seemed like every other thing he said had somebody goin' off to talk with Nathan. He wondered why that was.

M7*M7*M7

Nettie couldn't help feeling a sharp finger of fear trace itself up and down her spine as she rode the elevator to the first floor. Vin'd said some odd things in the County Hospital, though he'd never sounded so lucid and coherent, and she dreaded the prospect of having to send him back there. When they'd told her on the phone last night - and when she'd seen for herself this morning - that Vin wasn't himself, she told herself that it was temporary, he'd be better after he slept. Or after he ate. Or after he saw her.

But he wasn't better.

And the police were on their way.

She found Nathan in the hallway leading to the ER. Chris stood with him, both men grim and conspiring. "What are we going to do?" she demanded, not waiting for them to break their conversation. Her voice had an uncharacteristic level of panic to it. "The tales that boy is spinning will get him landed back on the Fourth Floor in a heart beat."

"I've been telling Chris - there is nothing we can do." Nathan sounded frustrated. "We can't stall the police, we can't deny them access to Vin. We have to tell them the truth. If Vin is delusional Nettie - -" his words stalled at the anger displayed plainly across her face. _"If he is delusional_ - Nettie, he needs help. Now, I got in touch with Dr. Sykes. He'll be back in town tonight and said he'll come over and have a talk with Vin. See what's what."

"Dr. Sykes?" Chris asked.

"His psychiatrist." Nettie and Nathan told him.

"_Psychiatrist?" _Chris was clearly furious. "Nathan - you're just gonna up and commit Vin with no more than -"

"No! Chris - give me a little credit why don't you?" The long days and hours, and stress over Vin, were taking their toll on both men. "Dr. Sykes will just talk with Vin. As long as Vin isn't a danger to himself or anyone else, of course he's not going to commit him -" All three of them turned in surprise as JD skidded to a stop around the corner.

"Two detectives just went up the elevator looking for Vin..."

M7*M7*M7

Lyn, the physical therapist, got Vin out of bed and moved a few feet to the chair next to the window. It left him feeling a little light headed, but when she asked if he was okay, he only nodded and didn't let on. The stitches in his back pulled something dreadful too, and all the bruised and battered places on his body complained at the sudden movement. Nathan, _his _Nathan would have a fit, gettin' a body outta bed this soon.

Vin couldn't say he was especially happy with the flimsy night clothes he'd been given, and those_ socks_ - with the funny raised painting on the bottom - wouldn't keep his feet warm in July, much less this winter weather.

Suddenly, though not for the first time, Vin felt an aching longing to be home. _His_ home. Back in town, the saloon, the boarding house, _his_ Chris, _his_ Nettie, _his _friends. These fellas were fine, as friendly and concerned as they could be. The hospital was takin' right good care of him, and he had nothing to complain of. But Lord God, he'd give anything to be back in his drafty room at the boarding house, eating real food, drinking whiskey and playing cards with the fellas.

_His_ fellas.

The pain caught him ragged when it hit him for the first time that maybe they were lookin' for him. Maybe _this _Vin wasn't with them, like _this_ Chris thought. Maybe his friends were out looking for him, maybe lost themselves in the blizzard, maybe giving him up for dead.

_Maybe his horse missed him too. _

That thought was about all Vin could take right now. As Lyn got the ivy in his right hand straightened out and on the same side of the bed as he was, Vin rested his head in his left hand, trying to push the pain - physical and emotional - away from himself. He had to concentrate, keep his head clear, if ever wanted to get back home again.

He saw their shoes first, two pair of black leather with some funny string lacing them up. Two men, dressed kinda the way the Judge usually did, except thinner material, no vest, no hats. One had his overcoat slung on his arm, the other still wore his.

"Mr. Tanner?" the man with his coat over his arm asked. He was tall and too thin. Vin nodded.

"I'm Detective King, and this is Detective Volk." the other detective was tall too, reminded Vin some of Buck, the way he was built. He already looked kinda bored with the whole thing. "My apologies Mr. Tanner that we weren't able to get your statement before this. The weather had everything shut down across the county. This is the first we were able to come to you."

Vin nodded, not sure what to say. Not sure what was bein' said. The both of 'em held out flaps of leather that no Indian woman worth her time would take claim for. Vin didn't get a real good look at whatever he might be supposed to look at before they tucked them away again.

"We stopped downstairs and talked with your surgeon." the first man went on. "She said you're doing well, better than expected. She said it'd be all right if we came up and asked you some questions."

"Miss?" the second man addressed himself to Lyn. "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave while we question Mr. Tanner here." He sounded like he might be from Texas, and Vin froze. Maybe he was from Tascosa?

"Of course." She picked up her papers and measuring tape and started to leave the room.

"Ma'am?" Vin tried to keep the panic out of his voice. "You see if you can scare up one a'my friends for me? I been feelin' poorly -" he added to the two men, hoping they believed the sort of lie. "Feel better if somebody was nearby." They nodded, but Vin could tell they weren't convinced. Lyn apparently could tell it too, her eyes flicked nervously from one to the other, but she nodded.

"Sure."

When she left, the bored man shut the door. Vin's panic edged up a notch. "We just want to get your statement on this incident." he started talking before he even turned back.

"Statement?"

"We'd like you to tell us exactly what happened." the first man - King - explained. He'd laid his overcoat on the bed, and was leaning against the window sill. "What led up to you being attacked near that cabin the other day." As he spoke, he pulled some little paper and a pencil out of his jacket pocket.

Sporting a blank face that he thought might make Ezra proud, Vin forced his mind to put all the facts - all _his _facts - in order. "I left my room real early - before dawn. Just wanted to go out riding, be by myself a time."

"You're staying with a Chris Larabee?" King asked, reading something off one of his papers. Vin hesitated at first, but he'd twisted the truth more than once to save his skin.

"Chris was in the room next to me." he offered. "I didn't want t'wake him up."

"This was after you were told the McGintys had been taken into custody." The bored man intoned. Vin got the feeling that fella was here specific to trip him up.

"Don't recall bein' told nothing about McGintys." Vin purposely stole his hand up to his neck, drawing their attention to the angry rope burns still raw on his skin. "Just remember ridin'."

"Where were you headed?" King asked.

"Don't remember." That came out a little less sure. "Nowhere."

"Well, which is it?" Mr. Bored charged. Vin tried to keep his face unconcerned, but he knew a fleeting glare escaped him. "You seemed pretty sure of all of your facts when you gave your statement on the McGintys last year."

"And in the meantime I been shot, hung, near froze to death and had major surgery." Vin hoped he was accurately repeating what Chris had said to him yesterday when he refused that first bath.

"Gene -" though he was younger and wiry, King's voice held no small warning. "Let's just get Mr. Tanner's statement." When Mr. Bored offered no argument, he turned back to Vin. "Do you remember the attack?"

"Mostly..." Swallowing was doing something odd - felt like his throat was staying closed longer than it ought to. "He got me from behind - had his gun on me before I could move."

"You were still on horseback when this happened?"

"Yeah, I was lookin' at the snow. Seemed like it was stickin' funny to the trees."

"You were so busy looking at the pretty snow that you didn't hear somebody getting the drop on you?" Sarcasm dripped from every word Mr. Bored pronounced.

"Think - I think I fell asleep for a bit, in the saddle." Vin offered. He couldn't tell them he'd been shot already - _this_ Vin wasn't shot when this all started. He tried swallowing again. His throat seemed to stick again, and when it stuck, Vin couldn't take a breath.

"How convenient."

Now Vin turned an undisguised glare on Bored. "Sure was convenient for him." If he could just get his throat to cooperate, he could breathe.

"Gene -" King warned again. "We need to get this done. If you're not going to help, you could go talk with ER personnel about forensic evidence." _Gene _rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Fine. Whatever." he huffed but didn't move. King turned back to Vin.

"All right Mr. Tanner -"

"_Can't breathe._" Vin managed to get past his rebelling throat. "_Can't breathe_." To his credit, Mr. Bored was out the door in a heartbeat, calling for a nurse. King dropped his paper and pencil and offered Vin a cup of water. But that would mean swallowing which meant his throat would stay closed more which meant he would be able to breathe less. His voice was hoarse and choked out. "_Get Nathan. Please - get Chris."_

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	26. Chapter 26

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Elevator be damned, Chris Larabee took the stairs two at a time and burst into Vin's room in time to see him battling the nurses and doctor. He didn't want the oxygen, he didn't want the IV, he didn't want anything or anyone - and he didn't want it right now. He batted away the hands that tried to place the nasal cannula on him, and he repeatedly tried to pull the IV out of his arm.

"Get an orderly in here." Dr. Clemens told a nurse. "Mr. Larabee - you'll have to leave until we can get him calmed down."

"Like hell lady." Chris answered, but not loud enough for her to hear. "_VIN._" he said, loud and firm. In an instant, he had Tanner's attention. Hell, he had everybody's attention. The combat stopped and all eyes turned to him. "_What - is - the - problem?_" he asked, as distinctly as possible.

"I got the right to refuse." The one thing that right now meant everything to Vin. "You said I got the right to refuse anything." The hoarseness lingered.

"Yeah, I did say that, and yeah, you do have the right to refuse any treatment you don't want." Chris walked up to the bed. "Tell me what happened, and why you're fighting these people." He kept his voice calm, trying to calm the obviously alarmed man in front of him. The doctor and nurses backed off.

"Couldn't breathe." Vin said. "Some men came in. They's asking me questions 'bout being attacked and I'se tryin' to answer them. But I couldn't breathe. Don't want none a'this on me no more." He made a move toward the IV, but Chris grabbed his hand.

"Leave that alone."

"Don't want it."

"You need it, so for right now, leave it alone." Chris thought maybe he understood what was going on. "Let these people do their job Vin, and then they will leave you alone. All right? The longer you fuss, the longer they stay here. And all you want is for them to leave you the hell alone, isn't that right?"

"Damn straight." Vin growled.

"Okay. So this is what we're going to do..." Chris lifted the oxygen tubing from where it lay on Tanner's chest. "You're going to lie still, and behave, and let me help you with this." Not waiting for an answer, Chris got the cannula settled into place. "Do we have an understanding?" Vin shot him dagger eyes, but didn't answer. Chris turned to the hospital personnel. "You wanna check and make sure everything is how it should be?"

Vin stiffened noticeably as they touched him. He shut his eyes and answered their questions minimally, but after a few moments they were gone. Vin turned on his side, pointedly away from Chris. Nettie and Nathan came in the room then. She went right to Vin.

"Honey, are you all right? What happened?"

"I'm fine. Nothin' happened."

"JD said the police were here, then we heard your doctor paged stat to your room." When Vin didn't answer, Nettie turned to Chris for an explanation. He shrugged.

"I guess when the police were questioning him, he must've had a panic attack. The doctor was checking him out when I got here. He was giving the staff a hard time."

"Vin -" Nettie put her hand on his shoulder, but he pulled away from her touch. "Honey, what were saying before about breaking your knee?"

"What difference it make? Y'all won't believe me anyway."

"I'll believe you honey."

"I will too." Nathan added. Vin looked back over his shoulder, his eyes taking in all three.

"When I'se sixteen, thereabouts I reckon. Coupla fellas jumped me out on the trail. Stole my horse, took the little money I had. 'Fore they left, the one fella whacked me in the knee with a club, said it was so's I couldn't follow 'em. Couldn't hardly walk, no water, no town for twenty miles. Coupla days a'dragging myself along, probably made five miles. Woulda died if the Commanch' hadn't come along n'found me."

Then he waited for their reaction.

"You have had an uncommon life." Nathan said. Vin nodded and turned away again. "C'mon Nettie, let me buy you some coffee down in the cafeteria..." Nathan gently led her away. When they were out of the room, and the door shut behind them, she continued the conversation they'd had on the way up in the elevator:

"You see what I meant about the stories he's telling? Bushwhacked, Commanche Indians..."

Nathan laughed and shook his head. "That boy has got himself some imagination. How did he really break his leg?"

"Oh, he never broke his leg." Nettie said, and didn't notice at first that Nathan stopped walking beside her down the hallway. "I don't know where he's getting these ideas...Nathan?"

"He broke his leg Nettie. It's on his x-ray. He broke his right leg, the growth plate at his knee." Nettie frowned, searching her memory.

"No, I practically raised that boy with his Mom after his father died. Unless he broke it before he was five or so, he never broke his leg." And she wondered why Nathan was giving her that long, puzzled stare.

M7*M7*M7

When the room was empty again, Chris walked around the side of the bed Vin was facing. "You can take that thing off y'know, when nobody else is around." Chris said. "That was just to get rid of them."

Vin opened his eyes just long enough to get the idea he was talking about the contraption blasting air into his brain. He pulled the thing off, though he didn't care either way, and closed his eyes again. Eyes shut tight, curled into himself, Vin's body shuddered now. Fear, panic, anger, confusion churned in him like rapids. His right hand was a fist next to his face on the pillow, and Chris reached over the railing to lay a gentle hand over it. Vin's eyes popped open in surprise.

"Vin - I need you to help me with something." His voice was low and serious. "I've been thinking - if you're here - if _my_ Vin is with_ your_ Chris and _your _friends - well, I'm just worried how they'll treat him."

"What the hell you think they're gonna do to him?"

"I don't know - what do _you_ think they'll do with him Vin? What are your friends like? What's _your_ Chris like?"

Vin tried to gauge this Chris' sincerity. Was he just trying to lull him into some sorta trap or did he want to know serious? Well, it sure looked like was serious and worried about his friend being off somewhere amongst strangers.

Not quite strangers.

"He's a good man. Don't take much truck with fools though. Ain't sayin' your Vin's a fool, didn't mean that." he added. "My Chris always took my word on things, most always. I trust him."

"Will my Vin be safe with him?" Chris asked and Vin nodded firmly.

"Chris'll watch his back."

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Desperate for any way to bring _his_ Vin back, Chris tried getting Vin to talk about his friends, hoping - like JD said before - that he could make Vin see that this was a safe place to be. A safe place to be himself. He couldn't tell if it was working or not, and he felt like he was running out of options to keep Vin out of the Mental Hospital. On the bed, Vin closed his eyes again and let out a long sigh.

"What?"

"Nah - you'll think it's stupid."

"No I won't - what is it?" Chris waited a few moments till Vin turned to look up at him.

"I miss my horse." and Chris had to smile.

"What's your horse's name?" wondering what derivation of his horse's name Vin would come up with. But Vin frowned.

"Y'don't name your horse." he sounded annoyed, like any fool would know that. "Never know when you might have t'eat it." and Chris stared at him, suddenly and inexplicably unsettled by that remark. Something was terribly wrong, only he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

A knock on the door made him look up and JD came in. "Chris - thought you'd want to know. Dr. Clemens told the police they can't talk with Vin anymore this morning. Said they could come back this afternoon."

"Thanks JD - where's everybody else?"

"Nathan and Josiah've gone home to get some sleep and a change of clothes. Ezra went home last night, he's on his way back now. Buck is waiting for me downstairs and we'll be headed home too." Chris thanked him again, and JD left.

"_Wish I could go home._" Vin said softly. It sounded like he was talking to himself.

"I'll take you home." Chris said, even as he came to the decision. Eagerly, Vin pushed himself up on his elbow.

"Now? Take me home now?" But Chris shook his head.

"This afternoon, we're gonna need some time to work on a plan." he looked Vin up and down. "And you're gonna need to do one thing for me."

"Anything." Vin promised immediately.

"_Take a bath."_

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	27. Chapter 27

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"Chris!" Billy launched himself into Larabee's arms as soon as he walked into the house. "Did you see all the snow? Did you find Vin? Mom says I can't ride my horse in this snow. I missed school. Can I ride my horse? Did you bring Vin home? Mom says he's at the hospital? Did he have his tonsils out?"

"Yes - yes - no - no - yes - no..." It didn't matter what Chris said. He'd no sooner start to answer one question before the next one was launched at him. Mary greeted him next, with a hug and kiss.

"It's good to have you home...even if it's just for a little while." she kissed him again.

"I'm sorry honey. I have to do this - it's the last thing I could think of to keep him out of that hospital." But he could see in Mary's face that she understood.

"I know - I got everything you asked for..." she indicated the gym bag and suitcase at her feet. "I'll put the rest into the truck while you take a shower and change." and Chris pulled her into a firm hug with his free arm.

"Thank you."

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"Vincent Tanner - there's nothing you've got that I haven't seen, chased, washed, diapered or spanked at least a dozen times in your life. And you're not so old that I couldn't do most of those things again if need be!" Nettie stood with her hands on her hips, in front of Vin who was trying to make himself as small as he could in the chair. "Now the doctor had the IV taken out and said you could take a shower even though it's less than two days since you had the stitches. Either you get in there and take a shower young man or I'll wash you where you sit."

Vin's eyes widened at the prospect, and a blush climbed into his face. "Nettie - you wouldn't."

"Wouldn't be the first time, and you know it." Sometimes men acted like they came into the world toilet-trained. She'd had to help him take a shower the first day or so he was on the Psych Unit. Maybe he _didn't _remember that, though. She'd never mentioned it afterward, and neither had Vin.

"I done had me a bath -" he tried again, but Nettie cut him off.

"I _know._ But around here we take baths more than every month or so." she tried to not let the exasperation sound in her voice, but it was getting harder and harder.

"Don't want to."

"_Why not?_" Nettie demanded, and was answered by a very small voice.

"Don't know what a shower is." Vin told her, as though he'd been holding onto the information a long time. Nettie stared at him. Just as she was about to chide him that _of course _he knew, another voice entered the discussion.

"Mrs. Wells? Is there a difficulty at hand in which I may be of some small assistance?" Ezra asked as he came into the room.

"Ezra - Dr. Clemens said Vin is fit to take a shower. I'm trying to persuade Vin to think so too."

"Well, I see that my timing is impeccable." Ezra took his wool jacket off and laid it on the foot of the bed. "I would be more than happy to assist you Mr. Tanner. Such ministrations I daresay would be more agreeable to you than those offered by your dear Aunt?"

"_What?_" Vin asked, too tired and too upset be any more polite.

"Let me help you take a shower Vin. Then I can assist you in shaving and perhaps trim your hair a bit?"

Though Nettie nodded her agreement, Vin turned a glaring squint on Ezra. "Ain't nobody touchin' my hair."

"Come, come, Mr. Tanner." Ezra persisted. "Surely you'd like to present a more becoming appearance to your friends?" Vin continued to glare.

"Friends come n'go. The hair stays." and after another moment, Ezra conceded with a shrug.

"As you wish. However, do let me assist you in taking a shower before Mrs. Wells sees fit to assail you with an arsenal of bathing implements."

Vin looked from one to the other. He didn't want a bath, and he didn't know what Nettie meant by shower. He sure didn't want her helping him bathe, and he'd pretty much prefer not to have Ezra helping him neither. Chris promised to get him out of the hospital this afternoon, and if he could just hold on till then, maybe he wouldn't have to take a bath anyhow.

Just as it seemed Nettie was getting ready to launch another attack, Chris came into the room. "Hey guys, what's going on?"

"We're trying to get Vin to take a shower." Nettie said.

"Great, I'll give you a hand." Chris said. "I've got clean clothes for you, pajamas and moccasins." He gestured sharply toward the bathroom door, and Vin got the message that maybe more was going to go on than just bathing.

"All right." he growled, trying to sound as put out as he could. "Done had me a bath couple weeks ago..." Ezra and Chris both gave Vin a hand out of the chair and he shuffled to the bathroom with Larabee close behind, carrying a bag. "Heard a'places got indoor privies" he was saying as Chris closed the door. "Never saw the good to that...Chris? What exactly's a shower?" There was anxiousness behind the question, worried at first that Larabee might think it was a stupid question. But he only gestured again, toward pipes sticking out of the tiled wall.

"It's this." and with a couple of knobs turned, water shot out of the pipe. "Ever stood under a waterfall? Kinda like that I guess." He put his hand into the drizzle, turned the knobs a little more. "Sit down in the chair there..." though the chair he pointed to was made out of the strangest looking material Vin'd ever seen. "I'll give you a shave before you get washed."

So Vin set himself into the chair, feeling the stitches pull, but winded after just that short walk. "Y'ain't cuttin' my hair though."

"Didn't intend to." Chris said. He looked through the bag, then looked at Vin. "Close your eyes, it'll just make this easier." Vin did as he was told and after a minute he felt Chris putting something on his face felt like thick soap suds. It had a sharp smell and kinda tingled. Then, as Chris started to shave him - with what a quick peek revealed was _not _a straight razor - they began to work on their plan.

M7*M7*M7

Nettie was in the chair on the far side of the bed when the bathroom door finally opened again and Vin came out, leaning on Chris, limping slightly as he headed for the freshly made bed. The bruises stood out more vividly against his pale, clean skin.

"You never did." Chris was saying.

"Sure I did. I think I did. Sounds familiar anyway."

"What are you boys talking about?" Nettie asked as she pulled the blankets back for Vin to get into bed.

"I'se just tellin' Chris, seems to me I got bit by a fish when I was a little guy. Sounds peculiar I know..." Nettie scowled as she tucked the blankets around Vin, turning memories over in her mind.

"Bit by a fish? I never heard such a - oh! Maybe it was that first summer you and your Mom moved back to town. You were just five. We went to the lake and you were walking in the water barefoot. You stepped on a dead fish and came screaming out of the water, saying the fish bit you." She laughed and Vin turned a triumphant look at Chris.

"See? Told you!" and Chris shrugged.

"Okay, I give. You're right. Where'd Ezra get to?"

"Don't know. Just said he'd be back." Nettie told Chris, then asked Vin: "You feel better honey? Seems like things are starting to come back."

Vin fought the urge to look at Chris. That would be a damning gesture. He hated lying to Nettie, even _this _Nettie. Even if it was part of the plan to escape this hospital and get back home. So he tried to make it as small a lie as he possibly could. "Don't know as you should judge by one fish story Nettie. Especially one I can barely remember...but I hope so. I'm tired a'being where I'm not me."

He leaned against her then, a gesture that had no lie in it. He was tired and scared and anxious for the day to pass and even if she wasn't _his _Nettie, there was a familiar and sheltering comfort in her arms, and Vin unashamedly claimed it from her.

"We'll get you home honey." she whispered her reassurances to him, hugging him tight against herself. "Don't you worry - we'll get you home safe and sound."

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_The gray dawn put odd shadows behind every tree and sapling. The wind still tried to scour away any mark put into the snow, but Chris could see enough of the imprints of boot heels to follow his target away from the cabin. He wasn't dealing with professional gunfighters or hunters here, just overgrown bullies who'd crossed the line at least once. That would make them easier to catch, but also more dangerous, since they didn't have the detached levelheadedness that made a paid gunfighter worth his keep. No, they were more like bad TNT - unstable and unpredictable, apt to leave a wide swath of destruction. _

_Chris was determined to keep Vin out of their path this time. _

_He didn't stop to consider who this Vin was, or if he was even his Vin. He was Vin and he was hurt. He needed protecting and Chris was going to protect him. He couldn't afford to let those thoughts take up anymore space in his brain. He had to keep sharp and focused if he intended to bring these criminals to justice. _

_Judging from the boot prints, whoever he was tracking had started running. They were running away from the shack, and Chris didn't see anything that indicated they were doubling back. After another long, careful look around, Chris turned back the way he came. It was still growing daylight, the others would be here soon, they'd get back to town safe and sound. _

_The cabin had just come into view again when it occurred to Chris - if Vin wasn't shot, then he wasn't going to die. That thought took him by surprise. Vin wasn't going to die after all. _

_It was the last thing Chris thought before he felt the sharp pain behind his ear, and the world spun to darkness. _

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	28. Chapter 28

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Chris had promised to get Vin out of the hospital at nightfall. He didn't say why it had to be that time of day, he only said it was important they do it then, and Vin didn't argue. But he couldn't remember a day that seemed to take so long to crest and set. Lunch came and went, and Vin resigned himself to eat the tasteless mess, before turning back to Nettie. She held onto him as long as he wanted, as the afternoon progressed, until Chris got into his line of sight and gave him a look that meant they needed to get on with the plan. So Vin reluctantly sat up and out of her arms.

"I'm sorry Nettie. My back's hurtin' some. Think I gotta lay back a spell..."

"Of course honey." she bought the lie immediately and completely. The concern in her voice nearly undid Vin's resolve to see this through to the end, no matter what. He kept hold of her hand and she supported him back to the pillows and pulled the blankets up. "How's that?"

"It's better Nettie, 'preciate it." but he didn't let go of her. She wasn't his Nettie, but she was a good woman, and he knew he'd be hurting her when he left this place. He'd been thinking too, what it would do to her if _her _Vin didn't make it back. He couldn't stop the tears that suddenly filled his eyes, and even though he turned away, Nettie saw them. She gently turned him back to face her.

"You've never been able to hide so much as a whisker from me Vin Tanner." Emotion trembled through her own voice. "You tell me what's wrong." Behind her, Chris turned his back on them to watch out the window. Vin put his hand over the one Nettie kept gently on his cheek. He swallowed hard a couple times.

"Want t'go home Nettie. I don't like it here." A few tears escaped him as he said his truth, knowing Nettie was hearing his lie. "Everybody's been real fine and friendly, and only doin' what they do to help me, I know. But I'm scared bein' here Nettie and I'm scared what the law's gonna do when I can't remember what they want me to." Vin dropped his eyes and gently nestled his cheek into her hand. He couldn't stand to see his misery reflected in her eyes. "_I miss home_."

He heard her breath catch then, and she leaned down to gather him back into her arms - but part of the plan was having to drive Nettie to extreme measures. So Vin stiffened and pulled away from her. Worse - he pushed her away, and snapped at her. "_Don't _- you can't help me." He kept his face turned and his eyes shut. "Y'all think I'm crazy, think I need to be in an asylum somewheres. All I need is to be home." Still the truth, still being interpreted as a lie. But Vin's emotions were real, he choked on them, putting his hand to his throat that was raw inside and out.

"Vin -" Chris had turned back now, and stood beside Nettie.

"Ah just shut up Larabee. You're doin' me no good neither." The aggravation was part of the plan as well, but it mirrored the frustration Vin really felt waiting for this all to be accomplished.

"Honey - you'll get home." Nettie tried again to touch Vin, but he pulled farther away. "Just as soon as the doctor says -"

"Damn stinking doctors." Vin hissed. He pushed and pulled himself to the other side of the bed, not very far, but symbolically out of her reach. "Might be it ain't all come back yet, but I remember enough to remember bein' locked up seven 'r eight months. Y'know what that did to me Nettie? Bein' locked up, havin' to behave and make nice, waiting for some damn stinking doctor to decide it was safe to let me be near regular folks again." It was a lie, desperately contrived from what Chris told him while giving him a shave before, but Vin felt the pain that he claimed to have suffered. To be locked up, dependent on the education and good wishes of strangers for every move you were allowed to make. How had _this _Vin ever borne it?

"Vin - that's not how it is this time." Chris said. Playing his part, Vin knew.

"Ain't it? If I was to ask you why I couldn't go home this here now minute, first words outta your mouth'll be '_the doctor says...'_ and you know it." He glared at Chris, feeling an unaccustomed - but necessary - rage toward him. "It's my life and I had damn little enough say in the running of it seems like. I can leave if I want and you know I can. Just a difference 'tween me gettin' outta here with everything I need to stay healthy, or me just walkin' out and not lookin' back." He continued to glare at Chris, hoping Nettie wouldn't be able to read in his face the vulnerability that he was feeling.

Chris returned the glare. This wasn't rehearsed, more just hashed out during a seventeen minute shave and Vin taking as long as he possibly could to get dressed after his shower. Larabee chewed the inside of his lip - he wanted to appear to be mulling everything over, but really he was praying that everything worked out. Knowing Vin's tremendous memory, Chris had fed him details of Vin's own life, bits that had come hard won to Larabee, in odd moments that usually left him awed - both by the revelation given and the trust earned. Vin just needed to retain enough information to pass an orientation test and get the hell out of this hospital.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity but was really less than half a minute, Chris gave the appearance of coming to a decision. "Nettie..." he let her name out with a sigh. "What d'you think?"

"Chris! You're not really considering taking this boy out of here, are you?" she was dismayed.

"He's getting himself mighty agitated here Nettie. That can't be good for him." Chris started for the door. "Let me see if his doctor is still here. Nathan if not the surgeon. Maybe if I get him released to my care, take him home to the farm..."

"CHRIS LARABEE!" Nettie actually shouted at him before catching herself and lowering her voice. "You will not have him released to your care. What are you thinking?" and Chris walked back to be on the other side of the bed from her. They argued with Vin in between.

"Nettie -" Chris' voice was a growl. He spoke very deliberately. "The police are coming back. His psychiatrist is coming back. You leave Vin here, he's just that much closer to the Psych Unit. All they have to do is strap him on a gurney and wheel him outta here. Do you want that?"

"Nathan said -" she tried.

"Nathan is _not_ a psychiatrist. I'd damn sure rather see Vin safe among his family where they'd have to get a court order and still take him over my dead body than leave him here scared and defenseless." It was beginning to work, Chris could see it in her eyes. He pressed the advantage. "You want that Nettie? Having to leave him every night, hearing him crying and calling out to you as you walk down the hallway and leave him alone? Or do you want him somewhere safe, somewhere you can get to him whenever you want, whenever _he _wants? Which do you want Nettie?"

He kept his voice gruff, but when Nettie pointed a finger straight at him, insisting "_He comes home with me._" then marched out the door to find the doctor, Chris winked at Vin and grinned before hurrying to catch up with her.

M7*M7*M7

_Vin stood staring at the door a long while after Larabee went out. Finally, he had to say it to himself. "Chris has no clue who I am or what's going on - and I just let him walk out of here with a gun...__shit...__" _

_He searched the dark cabin up and down for boots or moccasins or any kind of footwear. Nothing. Not even another pair of socks. _

_No shoes, no jacket, no gloves. _

_No weapon. _

"_Shit and double shit.__" He couldn't let Chris out there, confused and alone. Vin figured Larabee might've brought something along in his saddlebags and he ventured slowly out into the gray dawn and knee deep snow to make his way to the shed where Chris said he'd stabled his horse the night before. He'd gone less than six feet when he saw something layng in the snow another thirty feet or so away. Another six feet and he could make out that it was a body. _

_Chris. _

_And the snow around his head was flooded and melting with blood. _

_Though there was little to bring up, Vin's body retched where he stood, summoning a memory of his mother that was never far away. -Dead - that's all his brain could formulate. - Chris is dead Chris is dead and so am I - and he ran back to the cabin, tripping in the deceptive snow, crawling finally when he had to. He slammed the door shut and threw the bolt, collapsing to the floor in front of it, curled onto his side with his arms protecting his head. _

"_Mom - Mom - get up Mom - please get up Mom - please get up Mom -" _

M7*M7*M7

Ezra was surprised to find Vin alone in his hospital room. He even looked behind the door to be sure. "Mr. Tanner, you are quite uncharacteristically bereft of companionship." He could surmise from the slumped shoulders and weary expression that something was amiss, and so was grateful for the thin but genuine smile that Vin turned up to him.

"Hey Ez'." A soft, exhausted voice. "Was 'fraid I wouldn't get t'see you again."

"My apologies for my lengthy absence then Mr. Tanner." Ezra laid his coat over the back of the chair and came to the bed. "I was compelled to spend the last few hours before my computer at home, doing some research..." The - by now habitual - confused look Vin gave him, made Ezra reword his remark. "I wished to look up a quote, and found myself required to sift through a vast quantity of written works before I was able to locate the passage in question." and Vin nodded that he understood.

"Chris n'Nettie are gone to see if they can get me sprung outta here, 'fore the law comes back." he said. Ezra was surprised.

"Mr. Larabee is going to attempt to circumvent the authorities and place you in seclusion?" A confused look. A rewording. "Chris is going to hide you from the law?"

"No." Vin shook his head, and spoke confidently. "_He's gonna get me home._"

Ezra considered that statement. _Home_. Vin was not referring to the serviceable little apartment attached to Chris' stable that had been his residence these four years. Ezra doubted that he was referring to a physical structure at all, or even to the people he felt he had left behind. Home for Vin, Ezra conjectured, was the feeling of being where he fit in, where he belonged.

It couldn't be that after four years with this group, Vin still doubted his place among his friends. Not when most would die for him - and the rest would kill. Still, Ezra knew the feeling of guarded belonging, letting himself be in the group, but not part of it.

Not until one equally reticent member of that group recited him a simple quote, and everything seemed to fall into place.

"If you would humor me for a moment Mr. Tanner, and allow me to relate to you how I came to remain part of this eclectic group of men?" Vin nodded and Ezra took a breath before continuing. "Given your statements regarding your own companions, I would hazard a guess that the gentlemen you find yourself among now are quite their equal? We greatly resemble your friends?"

"Yeah..." Vin clearly wondered where this was headed.

"Then I hope the examples I remark upon will not seem out of place to you... I joined this group of men only a little while before you did. Despite the friendship and acceptance that has always clearly been extended to me, I never felt that I quite fit in. I have neither Mr. Wilmington's _joie de vivre_ - joy in simply being alive each day - nor do I have Mr. Dunne's youthful enthusiasm. I find myself unable to embrace all persons and beliefs with the unbiased equanimity Mr. Sanchez is blessed with, and I doubt that I could spend myself on the day and night rigors of attending the health and well being of people I don't even know to which Mr. Jackson has dedicated his life. And I know I will never, ever approach life with the resolute attitude of _hell will fall before I am wrong_ that Mr. Larabee exudes even at his most quiescent."

Vin smiled again at the descriptions. "Sounds like my fellas, that's for sure..."

"Yes, well...I have always been a cautious man. My mother raised me that way of course, and the outlook I have has caused me to interpret most of life's intricacies in such a way that reinforced that caution. I must look at everything in detail and judge it before I allow it to become part and parcel of my existence. Including friendship."

"My Ezra too." Vin told him. "You'd think sometimes that money was the only friend he ever had...sometimes I think maybe it was. At first it weren't like he counted himself one of seven, but one with six others. Y'know?" Ezra nodded. He knew exactly. "Seems like he's comin' around though."

"I trust you are aware of the Civil War?" Ezra asked.

"What war?"

"War of Brothers? War of Northern Aggression?" Ezra liked to use the latter appellation to bait Vin when he was doing his reenacting.

"You mean the War 'tween the States?" Vin finally puzzled out. "Yeah..."

"And are you familiar with the Battle of Gettysburg?"

"Heard of it I reckon. Way up North, took 'em a few days to settle it out."

"Exactly. There was a gentleman involved in the battle, Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. Are you familiar with that name?" But Vin shook his head. "My Vin is a student of the War, and one day when I was feeling particularly isolated in my dealings with the other men of our acquaintance, Vin recited a quote to me that this man Chamberlain had written after the War. I wished to share it with you, but I could remember neither the name of the gentleman, nor the exact phrasing, thus the amount of time it took me to locate it. May I read it to you?" He pulled the paper out of his shirt pocket.

"Sure."

Ezra cleared his throat before he began. He didn't know exactly what he was trying to do with this quote. All he knew was he had felt a driven need to find it and share it with Vin. He prayed it would help.

_"The inspiration of a noble cause involving human interest wide and far, enables men to do things they did not dream themselves capable of before, and which they were not capable of alone. The consciousness of belonging, vitally, to something beyond individuality, of being part of a personality that reaches we know not where, in space and time, greatens the heart to the limits of the Soul's ideal."_

Ezra finished and looked up to find Vin staring at him. He wondered if Vin understood what he was saying, what he was trying to say. "I realize Vin, that you feel you are out of your place here among us, and that your most fervent wish it to be back with your own compatriots and brothers. Yet, both bands of friends are so equal to each other, that I can't help but believe that we are in some way connected, one to the other. It is my fervent wish as well that you find yourself home once again, and I only ask that when you are there, you will keep a part of us with you, and know that despite the difficulty and the circumstances you presently find yourself in, you belong with us as much as you belong with them."

M7*M7*M7


	29. Chapter 29

M7*M7*M7

_"Mom - please - please - what am I supposed to do? Chris is dead. What am I supposed to do?" Despite the panic and horror, Vin's mind worked hard to reason out a plan. 'He's bleeding, doesn't mean he's dead.' The thought demanded of him. It almost sounded like his Mom's voice, younger than he remembered sounding though. _

"_There's so much blood." he said, to himself or to the voice, he wasn't sure. _

'_It's his blood, not yours. It won't kill you.' _

"_I'm all by myself..." and the voice answered inside his head, sounding so close and so real. _

'_The others are coming.' _

_In surprise and relief, Vin pushed himself up. The others were coming. Chris said so, and even if he hadn't Vin would know it was true anyway. The others were coming. He wasn't alone. _

_But Chris was alone, hurt and in danger, and nothing would stop Vin now from going to his side. A cloud passed from in front of the sun then and for the first time, Vin noticed something under the cornshuck bed. Boots. He'd looked under that bed before he knew, yet there now were his boots. How had he missed them before? It didn't matter. He grabbed them and pulled them on, then buttoned his shirt and tucked it in as he got to his feet. _

_This time he didn't even stop to consider that he had no weapon. He flung the door open and made his way to the still figure forty feet away, running along the path already broken through the snow. Chris still lay unmoving, on his back in the snow. From the growing stain beneath his head, whatever had been done to him was still bleeding. His gun lay near his outstretched hand - and Vin saw a large bloody rock resting in the snow not much further away. 'Long distance attack.' he thought. 'Least it wasn't a bullet.' _

_Not stopping to check for a pulse, in a few motions he had the revolver tucked in his jeans and Chris in a fireman's carry across his shoulders. The added weight drove him deeper into the snow and he wondered if he'd make it ten feet, much less forty. But he marched on determinedly, doggedly, keeping his eyes on the cabin coming closer inch by inch - and every other sense alert on the woods around him. _

_Just twenty more feet, just ten... Vin panted with the exertion, swaying slightly under his burden. Five feet, five, five, five... he didn't count any lower, afraid he'd jinx himself, and only barely got Chris dumped onto the bed. He slammed the door and threw the bolt - small comfort he knew - and set about to help Larabee. Every muscle seemed to tremble with enervation. _

_The pillow case went first, torn open and apart to press against the gaping wound behind his ear. "Same place they got me..." Vin thought. "Musta used a sharper rock on him...Chris? Can you hear me?" He pressed the makeshift bandage as hard as he could with both hands. "Chris - you've gotta wake up." The fabric soaked through and Vin added another layer before barking. "Dammit Larabee, I'm being heroic here, least you could do is wake up so I'll have a witness!" _

_That had a small effect. Chris grumbled and moaned, and peeled one eye open to the scene above him. Clumsily, he reached for Vin's right arm and attempted to pull it away from himself. _

"_Stop that you fool. I'm trying to help you here. I need both hands to stop this bleeding..." but Chris shook his head - tried to anyway - and put more force behind the pull. _

"_No matter what -" he gasped "Keep your gunhand clear..." then he stared at Vin, waiting for him to acknowledge his words. Vin was scared to answer, scared to think what it meant. Chris was telling him how to stay alive. _

"_Yes Boss..." Vin tried to be lighthearted, but Chris increased the grip on his arm. _

"_No matter what - you stay alive." _

_Vin pulled his right hand free and laid it on the butt of the gun in his jeans. "I intend to." _

M7*M7*M7

"What?!" Nathan knew his lack of sleep was affecting his hearing when Chris Larabee said he wanted to help Vin get out of the hospital AMA - against medical advice. He knew his brain was seriously affected when Nettie agreed with this.

"Nathan - you know better than any of these men what it did to Vin to be locked onto the Psych Unit. You saw him at his worst - times when they wouldn't even let me see him. I can't put him through that again Nathan. I can't and I won't. You signed him into the hospital this time - you can sign him out."

"Nettie - the man has had major surgery - _on his spine_." How could Nettie be pushing for this? How could Chris? "He needs to be in the hospital. He needs -."

"He's off the IV and the catheter Nathan. You tell me what he needs that I don't have at my house and I'll get it."

Chris stood back and watched the two of them wrangle. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks that it'd been as easy as getting Nettie riled into protective mode. People thought Chris was tough as nails - just try getting between Nettie Wells and her objective. Once the paperwork was out of the way, all that was needed was to get Nettie home, setting everything up, and Chris could take Vin out - and in the opposite direction. He knew there'd be hell to pay at first, but once Vin -_ his _Vin - was back, he'd take him to Nettie's to recuperate anyway. So it was only a small deception. But an important one.

"Chris -" Nathan had turned to him to try one last time to get someone to see reason. "How can you be agreeing to this?" Chris decided to tell the truth.

"He's scared here Nathan. And as long as he's scared, he'll hide. We've seen it before haven't we? When he's been hurt or tired or scared and he hides behind the wall of 'nothing's wrong.' Only now he can't say that nothing is wrong, so he's hiding behind a wall of saying he's not our Vin. I want my Vin back. And I will do whatever I have to, to get him back." Nathan gave up with an exaggerated sigh.

"I'll get Becky on the phone. She's not going to be happy. See if I can find Lyn... Damn stubborn fools, all of you..." He turned away with a dismissive gesture and went off to call Vin's surgeon. Nettie turned an appraising stare on Chris, hands on her hips. Chris knew he couldn't simulate an innocent e xpression if his life depended on it, so he returned the look.

"You tell me what you've got planned and you tell me now." But Chris hesitated. "That boy is my flesh and blood." she reminded him. "I've seen him through hell and worse, and we both know it wasn't because I'm the shy retiring sort. You think Josiah Sanchez can get 'Old Testament'? You haven't seen anything."

It was the deadly serious tone of her voice that sent the chill down Chris' spine. He felt like a teenager in front of her, caught sneaking in after curfew. One wrong move and he'd be gone without so much as a puff of smoke. He decided the truth might still work.

"I own a cabin, an old shack really, that I've been fixing up. No phones, no electricity, no television, no police, no psychiatrist. Nothing that's going to freak him out. I figure if I can get him somewhere, alone, maybe we can talk. Maybe he'll feel safe enough again to come out of hiding..." Nettie didn't answer, didn't budge, didn't even blink an eye, and Chris began to feel some desperation creep in.

"I know Vin's your blood, I know he and Casey are the most important people in the world to you. He adores you Nettie - no matter how lost he is right now, he still loves you." Chris had to swallow a couple of time before he went on, and he dropped his eyes. "He's important to me too Nettie. Maybe I haven't seen him through hell, but I've sure pulled him back from the edge a time or two, same as he's done for me. He needs to feel safe Nettie - you know that better'n anybody. You can go in there and hug Vin, and tell him you love him, that everything will be OK, but I can't do that. Vin'd kill himself laughing and I'd die of embarrassment. I can't _tell_ him Nettie, I have to _show_ him."

Then time ticked off in loud, long seconds as Chris waited.

"He'll need clothes." Nettie finally said, taking Chris by surprise. He thought for sure she'd fight him.

"I got clothes for him in the truck, and supplies. Mary packed it all for me when I went home." Chris spoke slowly, deliberately, not wanting his anxiety and impatience to explode.

"Got enough food? Blankets? How long do you think you'll be out there?"

"Got enough for a few days anyway Nettie. I can't help feeling it won't take long once we get to the mountains. I can't explain it. Just feels like that's where he needs to be." Nettie nodded her agreement.

"He's always been alive out there, since he was little...do the others know?"

"No, just me and Vin." Chris told her. "The less people who know, the less people who have to lie to the authorities."

She nodded again, and sighed. "Well, let's get this on this road...you bring in his clothes, I want to have a chat with him before you leave. All right?" Chris smiled at her, and couldn't help reaching out to take her hand.

"Thank you Nettie. You don't know what this means to me..." and she returned the gentle squeeze.

"I know what'll mean to _him_." she said. "That boy loves you too."

M7*M7*M7

_Sitting on the edge of the bunk, Vin noticed his hands were shaking before he realized they were covered in blood. He had to take several deep breaths to keep his stomach where it belonged while he tied the makeshift bandage around Chris' head. The gash behind his ear had finally stopped bleeding, and Vin was down to the last length of pillow case long enough to circle a few times before tying it off. _

"_You with me Boss? C'mon. Open your eyes. Talk to me." His voice shook as much as his hands. Chris was only mumbling now, odd things Vin couldn't quite understand. After a head wound, that was definitely not a good thing. "Chris?" he raised his voice. "Come on. Wake up!" _

"_Had to kill him..." Chris muttered. He didn't open his eyes. _

"_Kill who?" Vin kept his voice loud. He couldn't remember what to do for a concussion. He had the quilt, afghan and poncho over Chris. Was he supposed to raise his feet? Maybe he should raise his head? "Chris? Who did you kill?" His hands left blood prints on Chris' face when he patted his cheek, trying to rouse him. _

"_...know you wanted him alive..." _

"_You're not talking about that bat are you?" Vin wondered out loud. "I know they had to kill the bat after it bit me..." That couldn't be what Chris meant. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT CHRIS?" _

_That finally got Chris to open his eyes. "Y'never had anybody stick up for you, did you? I said I'd go with you to clear your name, y'still didn't believe me." His voice was soft, and deceptively lucid. "The way you were goin' after Eli Joe by yourself - didn't think any one of us would go with, did you? I had to kill him Vin. We can still clear your name. I had to kill him." _

"_Okay, you had to kill him. I understand." It was daylight outside, but still dim inside, and Vin lit the candle to hold close to Chris' face. The way Chris was talking, he had some serious brain injury going on, Vin wanted to check his eyes. "Keep talking to me Chris." His pupils were equal, and responded to the light. That was a good sign, but Vin knew he had to keep him conscious. The others would be here soon, Nathan would know what to do. He blew out the candle and set it on the floor. "DAMMIT LARABEE." when Chris closed his eyes again. "OPEN YOUR EYES." _

"_Tired." _

"_Too bad - keep talking. Need you to stay awake...I'm waiting." _

"_Ugghh." _

"_That ain't talking Chris - even for you. C'mon. Tell me some more about that Eli you killed. Tell me again how I got shot in the back." He waited a few seconds, maybe ten or fifteen. "Please Chris. Stay with me. You gotta stay with me. God Chris - please. You know what happened to me when Mom died - I can't lose you too._"

M7*M7*M7


	30. Chapter 30

M7*M7*M7

"What's your name?" Nathan asked Vin. He couldn't keep the man in the hospital against his will, but he was hoping to demonstrate he was still confused enough to need to stay.

"Vin Tanner."

"Who am I?"

"Nathan Jackson."

"Who's the President?"

"Y'mean they finally got done countin'?" Vin had been amazed when Chris told him_ that _story. "Dubya." Though Chris said that wasn't really the President's name, just a nickname.

"When's your birthday?"

"July first, 1971. Ten years to the day after Princess Diana." It felt odd to Vin to say "nineteen" as the year.

"And Princess Diana is...?" Nathan prodded.

"_Dead_." Vin answered, sounding a little surprised that Nathan would even ask that. "Same year as John Denver, Mother Teresa, and Versachee. _They all knew her you know._" Coached by Chris on this, his tone implied he believed a conspiracy was involved in all four deaths. Nathan finally gave up in aggravation. Without another word to Vin, he left the room and went out to the hall where Nettie, Chris, and Ezra waited.

"Fine, you win. He can leave." He was seriously upset. "Nettie, you want t'come with me, get the paperwork started? You _can_ wait for the paperwork to be all set and signed, can't you?" he sniped at Chris.

The thought of police and psychiatrist descending on Vin anytime soon made Chris' temper just as short, but he tried to restrain himself. "We'll help him get changed into street clothes." was all he said.

M7*M7*M7

It seemed to take forever for Chris to come back into Vin's hospital room. He could hear them, outside the door, arguing still about letting him out of there, even though it seemed he'd answered all of Nathan's questions OK. Nathan was against letting him go, Vin could hear that loud and clear. 'Course Nathan – leastways his Nathan - was always saying 'take it easy, get some rest' whenever one of 'em got laid up at all. But hell, a man got no rest in a place like this. Nathan ought to see that.

Sitting up in the bed, with the sun setting through the window, waiting for the next step in the plan to begin, Vin felt the same heavy calmness he used to feel hunting - buffalo or bounty. In either case, you move too fast, you risked a stampede that could kill you easy. So, Vin waited, while they argued his life out in the hall.

M7*M7*M7

Chris and Ezra watched Nathan and Nettie walk away. "Well, I have heard of this happening in theory." Ezra said. "I never thought to see it in real life."

"What're you talking about?" Chris asked. Ezra motioned to the retreating pair.

"'_Immoveable object meets with irresistible force.'_"

Chris shook his head but had to laugh at the metaphor. He picked up the small suitcase at his feet and the two men went into Vin's room. They found Vin sitting up in bed, shielding his eyes with hands from the overhead light. Chris switched it off.

"Better?" he asked. Vin lifted his head and nodded.

"Thanks."

"Ready to get changed? Brought you some clothes. You can change in the bathroom, 'case Nettie comes back."

"Yeah." But Vin gazed at Chris a seemed to be pondering something, or worrying about something.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked.

"Nothin'." Vin said after a moment or two. "I'm ready." He pulled the blankets back as Chris lowered the bedrails, then he swung his legs over the side of the bed. Chris and Ezra stood by to offer any help necessary.

At first Vin was just determined to get the thing done by himself. Then he thought back to that long month after he'd been shot. The first times he legs gave out in front of his Chris, Larabee'd looked at him like he wondered if he'd tripped or something. Then it hit him all at once and he was at Vin's side in an blink. After that he was always close by, and it got to be second nature for him to slip a hand under Vin's elbow if he looked unsteady, or lay a casual and comforting hand on his back if he had to stop as they made their way down the boardwalk. How many times - especially in the last couple of weeks - how many times against Vin's expressed and sometimes furious wishes did Chris lift Vin off the floor and back into bed? Gentle though. So gentle it surprised Vin each time. Now _that_ Chris seemed so far away and Vin wasn't sure he could get to the _'bathroom'_ by himself.

"Might give me a hand gettin' over there?" he asked this Chris, indicating the narrow door across from them.

"Sure thing." Chris said, slipping his hand under Vin's elbow.

M7*M7*M7

_The cabin turned so cold, Vin started shivering where he sat. Damn the bastard for taking his coat and gloves anyway. 'Not bad enough he tries to kill me, he steals my clothes too...' he muttered to himself. He wouldn't start a fire and risk the smoke being seen, and he wouldn't even think about taking one of the blankets, or poncho, or the coat off of Chris. So he paced the small cabin, wrapping his arms across his chest for warmth. _

_The snow had stopped falling and the sun was up - the others had to be on their way. _

"_Hell, who do I think they are - the cavalry? Just five white collar weekend cowboys who watched 'Tombstone' one too many times..." he fingered the gun at his beltline. "Sure wish they'd hurry..." _

M7*M7*M7

"Why is it you felt the need to remove Mr. Tanner from the premises after nightfall?" Ezra asked as they waited for Vin to emerge from the bathroom.

"Less things he sees that might scare him, less times I gotta worry about him passing out on me..."

"That is forward thinking of you." Ezra said. "Have you given as much thought to simply getting him out of the hospital? Such as - oh, getting him onto the elevator, or past the automatic doors? I can't even imagine how you intend to explain all things automotive to him." With each word, Chris squeezed his eyes shut a little tighter. Finally he sighed.

"Let's just get him dressed first..."

M7*M7*M7

In a little while, the door opened and Vin did emerge, dressed in broadcloth pants, light blue cotton bib front shirt, leather suspenders, and rag wool socks - the outfit Mary had packed out of his store of Civil War clothes. Chris was at his side again in an instant.

"Why don't you have a seat in the chair? We'll get your shoes on."

"Yeah..." He sounded a little breathless as he sat down, and he put his hand to the wound on his back. "Hey - brogans." he said as Chris pulled the Civil War shoes out of the suitcase. "Ain't seen a new pair a'those since the war..."

"Only the best..." Chris quipped as he set them on the floor, and Vin slowly bent down.

"They're kinda small..." Vin said, having a hard time tugging them on.

"What d'you mean they're too small?" Chris asked, kneeling in front to help. "They used to fit you..." The effect of his words was immediate. Vin stiffened and sat back in the chair.

"No, they didn't." he said. His voice was low and threatening. "They ain't mine." He looked from Chris to Ezra and back again. "Don't believe me, do you? Just takin' on like y'did till - till - till what? Where the hell y'takin' me - sayin' you'd help me get outta here - where the hell you think you're takin' me and y'don't believe who I am?"

Ezra didn't answer and Chris couldn't even look at him. "Leave me the hell alone then. You're nothin' t'me." Vin forced the shoes on, ignoring the pain in his back. "I thought - I thought -" his voice dropped. "Y'said you'd get me home."

"I will." Chris insisted, looking up again. "I want to get you back where you belong." and Vin spat his answer at him.

"_This - ain't - where - I - belong._"

It seemed suddenly to Chris that the whole plan was unravelling. He stood up.

"Vin - just calm down. Let's just get you out of here and someplace safe, and then we can argue the point." He was barely keeping his own voice calm. "Okay?"

"I'm goin' nowhere with you."

"Gentleman - if I may interject." Ezra tried. Both men turned to him, neither one happy. "Mr. Tanner - you wish to remove yourself from this establishment, do you not?" Barely a nod in answer. "Then may I point out to you that to be found arguing with your supposed savior will NOT aid your departure. And you Mr. Larabee -" he turned his conversation before Vin could answer. "Surely in your endeavors as a parental figure, you have noted that often the best way to dispel fear is to instill anger?"

He let Chris work that out: Vin irate would get barely notice what would freak out Vin afraid. Let him be angry and get him out of the hospital just that much sooner. "Gentleman, are we in agreement then? Mr. Tanner - you will allow Mr. Larabee to spirit you out of here? Mr. Larabee - you will take Mr. Tanner somewhere safe and do your utmost to return him to where he belongs?"

The two men opposite Ezra nodded. Chris headed for the door. "I'm gonna bring the - the -" But he gave up trying to think what to call a car. "Dammit, I'll get the car." and he was gone. Ezra turned his attention back to Vin.

"Mr. Tanner - I have no doubt that the Ezra Standish you are acquainted with is a man of some sophistication and travel? Tell me - has he ever told you about _elevators_?"

M7*M7*M7


	31. Chapter 31

M7*M7*M7

"Elevator, hunh?" Vin asked skeptically, as Ezra gave him the details. He had moved from the chair to sit on the edge of the bed. Now Ezra was in the chair.

"Yes, in the time frame you would be most familiar with, it resembled a cage. The operator would close the front gate over and, using a lever, would escort patrons to their desired floor. In this building, it is more like a small room. The door slides over, and the people inside simply push a button to choose their destination."

"How many people get on at once?"

"Well, that does depend on many things -"

"How long's it take to get where you're headed?" Something bothered Vin, it showed in the narrowed look on his face, and in the anxiety in his voice.

"Again, it depends on many things..." Ezra stood and came to sit next to Vin on the bed. "May I hazard a guess that - much like our own Vin Tanner - you have a marked distaste for enclosed spaces?"

"Sometimes. Matters who I'm with sometimes. Longs I got fresh air and ain't penned in no way. Otherwise it gets a might close."

"I quite understand." Ezra said. "I daresay you'd be able to spend more time in a small space with Mr. Larabee than - say - with Mr. Dunne?" Vin immediately agreed.

"Chris ain't as likely to use up all the air..." then he seemed to realize what he said. "My JD's a good man. Yours seems to be too. Just sometimes I need quiet on the outside same's on the inside."

"Very succinctly and eloquently put Mr. Tanner. I can assure you that - given the fact that most of our compatriots have removed themselves to their homes, and knowing the lethal nature of Mr. Larabee's countenance - your first journey in an elevator shall be accomplished in relative seclusion."

"Don't know's I fancy ridin' anywhere with your Larabee." Vin growled. "The man ain't got a burr under his saddle, he's got the whole damn bush."

"I sometimes consider that the aliens simply forgot to remove the probe..." Ezra remarked and went on quickly before Vin could ask what_ that_ meant. "May I venture to point out that Mr. Larabee isn't the one with the difficulty at present?" But Vin didn't answer him. "You were the one enunciating at top volume, not Chris, were you not?"

"How come you use such fancy words?" Vin evaded.

"How come you don't answer the question?" Ezra rejoined.

"Ezra? You believe me?" The question was barely whispered out. "You talk like maybe you believe me."

"Yes, Mr. Tanner. I believe you."

"The others don't, do they?"

Ezra shook his head and answered honestly. "No, I don't think they do."

Vin sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "They think I'm loco." A statement, not a question. "They just been playin' along so's I didn't catch on."

"No, not at all. Rather they think you've been hurt, and frightened, and have merely gone into hiding of a sort. Their intent in expressing a false belief in your story was an attempt to make you feel safe enough - that is, make OUR Vin feel safe enough - in these surroundings to come out of hiding." He waited a moment but Vin didn't answer. "Please believe me that not one man among us intended to hurt you."

"Even Chris? Your Chris?" Vin finally asked.

"Most especially not our Chris. The man may come across like ice on fire, but - aside from his Mary and Billy - I have not seen him express such a deep and immediate protective aspect of his personality as I have when our Vin was placed in peril. Chris would cut his right arm off if he felt it necessary to save any one of his friends from harm."

"Kinda admire him, doncha there Ezra?" Vin's tone was joshing, but his question was serious. Ezra got to his feet and walked a few paces away.

"I will admit to an advisedly grudging respect for the man. It is hard after all not to admire a man so expressly confident in himself."

"Un hunh..." Vin settled himself a little differently, and pressed his hand against his back. "Y'know, where I come from, my Chris invited Ezra to join up with us. He didn't do that for nobody else. Everybody else just kinda drifted in one way or t'other. But Chris wanted Ezra with us... You keep pointin' out how alike our two sides are - might be your Chris wanted you, specific like? Hard not to like a man likes you, is it?"

"I fail to see how that has any bearing on the question at hand, Mr. Tanner."

"I think the question at hand Mr. Standish was how Chris feels about his friends...you are trying to jaw me into accepting that Chris is my friend?" He inclined his head a little to give Ezra a solemn look, and imitated him._ "Were you not?"_

Ezra gave him a squinty look. "Tell Mr. Tanner..." he said as he resumed the chair. "In your adventures as a bounty hunter, did you ever so carefully set a trap, only to discover you'd followed your own footprints right into that trap?" and Vin grinned at him.

"Nope Ezra - never did..." Then he considered something a moment, and asked: "Ezra? How come you believe me?"

"Because..." Ezra folded his arms and gave Vin a level gaze. "I choose to."

M7*M7*M7

_"Vin?" On the cornshuck bed, Chris stirred and tried to lift his head. Vin turned from where he was keeping watch at the window and went to his side. "Lay still there, Larabee. You must have a headache the size of Texas." _

"_We need a plan." Chris said. He put his hand to the side of his head. His voice was pained. _

"_Well I'm all ears Boss, and I hope it's a good one. Generally I stink at self preservation." Vin poured a cup of water and gave Chris a hand sitting up to drink. _

"_You survived..." Chris said. He sounded a little surprised. _

"_I survived because of the people around me, not generally because of anything on my own...drink slow." _

"_Nobody _makes_ you survive, Vin. It's something you choose." He kept his eyes on Tanner as Vin laid him back and set the cup on the table. _

"_Never felt like I had much choice in my life." Vin muttered. _

"_Always got a choice." _

"_C'mon Chris, I got enough psychobabble at the hospital. I don't need to hear it from you." He pulled the revolver from his jeans and checked the bullets one more time. Then he let out a breath as though he'd come to a decision. "All right Chris. I _choose _to survive. Tell me you got a plan..." _

M7*M7*M7

Chris pulled his car into the load and unload zone near the sliding door of the hospital. Before getting out, he turned to view the supplies Mary had packed for him. A lot of camping gear - cast iron frying pan, enamelware coffee pot, plates and cups, tin forks. And a lot of basic food - eggs, salt pork, frozen bread dough, cans of beans, ground coffee, and condensed milk.

Not for the first time, Chris wondered why he was doing this.

He got out and tucked his keys into his back pocket, then shoved his hand into his jacket pocket. He was surprised to feel something in there, and was even more surprised when he pulled a photograph out. "Damn." he whistled softly. "Where the hell did this come from?"

The night before Mary became his wife, Chris and Vin had stood at one of the corral railings, talking. Suddenly, re-opening his life and heart to another wife and child seemed overwhelming to Chris, and Vin had patiently, almost casually, taken him through his decision to remarry, step by step, point by point, until the doubts and fears faded.

Just at that moment, they'd heard Buck say "Hey, fellas?" and turning, had been surprised by the flash of a camera, and the picture in Chris' hand now was the result of that. Two friends, turned toward each other and toward the camera. Behind them, the sky was closing down gray into pink into black, and a chill in the air had them wearing jackets. Chris was giving Buck an amused glare, but Vin was openly smiling.

The feeling of friendship, warmth, and affection rushed back at Chris, nearly sending him reeling with its intensity.

_This_, this was why he was doing it. Step by step, point by point, he would walk Vin through his fears and doubts, and bring him home.

M7*M7*M7

Ezra gave Chris an enigmatic smile, as Larabee came back into Vin's room, but slipped out before Chris could ask what it meant, leaving the two men alone in the room. At a loss for an immediate apology, Chris pushed the photograph toward Vin. "That's my Vin..." he tried.

"I know you don't believe me Chris." he told him. Vin peered at the picture in his hand. "But I reckon that's OK. Y'think I'm your Vin - that ain't such a bad thing. Seems like you're still on my side, even if you do think I'm a mite addled." He looked up then and offered the picture back, but Chris motioned him to keep it. "Reckon the fact that you'd stand with me, 'spite of all that - reckon that's good enough for me."

"Well then Cowboy -" Chris' voice tremored just enough to be noticeable. "Let's hit it."


	32. Chapter 32

M7*M7*M7

_Four women stood on the boardwalk, nearly out of the wind that blew pinprick snowflakes onto the town. Mary, Casey, Inez, and Rain huddled in their coats and shawls, and watched the four men mount up. "I'll bring him back for you Mary." Buck said. _

"_And for yourself." She answered. After a moment, Buck nodded. _

"_Bring yourselves back as well." Rain's comment was for everyone, but her eyes were on Nathan. _

"_Not to fear ladies, I am quite sure that our valiant compatriots have sequestered themselves somewhere quite snug and secure to ride out yesterday's horrendous weather." Ezra assured them, and then turned to address Buck and Casey. "And I do include Mr. Dunne in that assessment." Buck nodded his appreciation. _

"_Me and Josiah'll fan out in the area around Nettie's, see if JD is there." Buck told the ladies. "Nathan and Ezra'll head up into the mountains, we think Vin mighta gone there to-." He stopped himself, but not before everyone knew what he meant. Vin might have gone there to die. "Anyway…we'll be back soon's we can. Snow looks pretty heavy out there. Keep the coffee warm." _

_With that, the men split into groups of two and took separate paths out of town. _

M7*M7*M7

Chris went into the hallway to look for a wheelchair. His search took him to the visitor's lounge just a few doors down, where he found Ezra playing solitaire. "So – what'd you say to him to calm him down?" he asked as he spotted a few folded wheelchairs behind the door.

"Nothing out of the ordinary Mr. Larabee, I assure you. I merely enlightened him to the fact that your ire always grows in direct proportion to your concern." Ezra looked up from his pursuit and added evenly, "I also told him in no uncertain terms that I believe him."

"Ezra, you of all people I would've thought wouldn't buy that story." The wheelchair didn't give easily, and Chris had to wrangle with it. "Hell, sometimes I think you don't believe me when I invite you over for dinner." He finally succeeded in separating one chair from the others, and didn't catch the brief look of surprise that crossed Ezra's face.

"Yes, well…it's rarely the invitation itself that I call into question; rather, it's the sense that my presence is being insisted upon, not merely requested, that undoubtedly makes me hesitate in my acceptance." He tried to sound lighthearted, but Chris gave him his full attention.

"Just trying to be sure you knew I meant it…" Chris tried to explain. He shrugged and tugged the wheelchair open. "Mary says subtlety isn't my strong suit…guess I'm proving that with Vin. How can you believe him Ezra? The Old West? Time travel?"

"I will tell you what I told Vin: I choose to believe him. I know Santa Claus doesn't exist, but I believe in him. I know the Great Pumpkin doesn't exist, but I believe in him. I know that it is undeniably impossible to travel into the very bowels of hell to rescue a friend, but on at least one occasion Mr. Larabee I have heard you promise exactly this – and I believe you."

Vin stood at the window, watching out on the darkened world, and the specks of light littering the mountainside. He looked again at the photograph Chris had given him. He'd seen hand-tinted ones before, but not this good. Made him wonder what else might be waiting for him outside these halls.

He turned to the door when Chris came in with the wheelchair. "Saw Nathan and Nettie way down at the end of the hallway." Chris told him. "They'll be here in a minute with the paperwork and we can get out of here. Umm…" he frowned a moment in consideration. "Maybe I should explain to you first what's gonna be out there…"

"Ezra was telling me 'bout elevators…" Vin said. "Sounds like a tiny place to be. Ezra said – well he said your Vin don't like small spaces too much. I'm kinda the same way…"

Chris sensed his unease, and felt his own growing at the prospect of taking Old West Vin into Modern Vin's world. "When we get outside Vin - you can ask me anything you want. I promise I'll give you honest answers. I promise –." He took a deep breath. "_I will believe you." _

M7*M7*M7

_Vin helped Chris sit up against the rough wooden wall, with the bare pillow tucked behind his back, and the quilt bunched over his legs. "Okay, we gotta think about this…" he said, then winced as pain knifed through his skull. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hand against the side of his head where the rock had hit him. _

"_Chris – you shouldn't even be sitting up, much less trying to think." Sitting on the chair next to the bed, Vin reached his hands out, intending to maneuver Larabee back down. But Chris waved him off with his free hand. After another second, he lifted his head and got his eyes to focus. _

"_We gotta do this Vin." The clouded sky only let pale daylight reach through the cabin window; even in the dimness, Vin could tell how pale Larabee was. "He's still out there, and we ain't exactly disguised here." _

"_The others are coming."Vin said. He sounded as sure as if he they were knocking at the door. _

"_How do you know that?" Chris asked. _

"_Because – you said they would come." _

M7*M7*M7

To say that Nathan was not in a happy place would've been an understatement. He slapped the discharge papers onto the overbed table next to Vin and stabbed the pen at him. "You've just had surgery on your spine, barely forty-eight hours ago." He gestured to the bruises and cuts on Vin's face. "You've been beaten and strangled. You're a walking ecchymosis. If you get three feet out of this hospital without falling flat on your face, I'll be astonished. You shouldn't even be upright, you know that. You should be laying down and letting your body recuperate, not gallivanting all over creation…"

In the midst of this tirade, Chris took the pen to hand to Vin, and pointed to the appropriate line on the form, whispering, "You've got to sign your name there…" Vin nodded a quick thanks and began the painstaking process of spelling it out in his uncertain hand.

"…infection, dehydration, paralysis, you could pull those stitches out, blood loss…" Nathan seemed to be listing everything possible that could go wrong. "Are you listening to me? We're talking MAJOR surgery. We're talking about your spinal cord here. You harm that, and there's no way we can fix it…"

On and on he went, until his voice became an annoying drone in Vin's ears. As soon as his name was done and printed on the line, he shoved the paper and pen toward Nathan. "Guess the aliens musta left the probe." He snapped, approximating what Ezra'd said about Chris.

The room became deathly quiet, except for the muffled sounds of Chris and Nettie trying to stifle their laughter. Vin thought for sure the top of Nathan's head was about to come clean off, he looked so mad. He grabbed the paper from Vin and stomped out of the room, not hearing the laughter that echoed behind him.

M7*M7*M7

Chris brought the wheelchair around the side of the bed and set it in front of Vin. A brief moment of looks between the contraption and Larabee. "Yeah?" he finally asked.

"Sit."

"Why?"

"To leave the hospital."

"Legs ain't broke."

"It's the rules here." Chris tried to remain patient.

"What're they gonna do? Not let me out?"

"They won't be happy."

"Well, I'm shaking in my boots…" Vin said and took a couple of steps for the door, grinning at Ezra as he passed.

"Vin Tanner!" Nettie's voice stopped him cold. He turned to her. "You will sit and you will behave. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Ma'am." Though Vin eyed the thing a little before cautiously setting himself into it. "Got one a'these back home. JD had to use it a little while when he got shot…these wheels don't look like they's gonna hold up long out in the mud street."

"This is just to get you out to the car." Chris explained as he turned down the foot pedals and got Vin's feet situated on them.

"We're takin' the train?" Vin asked Chris, just as Nettie asked Vin:

"Honey, will you be warm enough in that jacket?" she indicated his fringed leather coat he held across his lap.

"Reckon I will. It ain't seen me through a blizzard yet, like my old one did. But I got no reason to complain so far." Then he sucked in a breath as the stitches and muscles in his back pulled when Chris moved his right foot. "_Damn…_"

"You all right?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, just stiff." Vin lied through clenched teeth. He looked up into Nettie's worried e xpression. "I been through worse Nettie and lived to tell it. A little patchwork in my back ain't gonna drag me down."

"Honey, you could be a hundred years old and I'll still be worried about you. Nothing'll change that." She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Well –." She addressed Chris. "Suppose you should get to it."

"Suppose we should." Chris took a minute to crouch next to the wheelchair. "Vin – remember – anything you want to ask me once we're outside, you ask me. I'll answer you the best I can, and –." He tried to steel his resolve without it being noticeable. "No matter what – I will believe you."

Vin nodded, unable to express his thanks any other way. "Best get a move on, 'fore the law comes back…"

"Yep." Chris stood behind the chair, and Ezra opened the door. "Let's go."

M7*M7*M7


	33. Chapter 33

M7*M7*M7

_"That won't work." Vin started arguing with Chris right from the start. "You can hardly stand, you wouldn't make it two steps out in that snow. Distraction, hell. Sitting duck is more like it. You're the one's hurt, Boss. If anything, I create the diversion and lead 'em away from you." _

"_You don't know your way around here." Chris said. His words disappointed Vin. _

"_I spent my life in these mountains Chris. Maybe you don't think I am who I am, but these mountains haven't changed in a million years." He rinsed the rag out again in the basin of pinkish water and handed it back to Chris. "Got some more there on the left side…" he pointed to the blood dried and drying that Chris was trying to clean off of his face and neck. _

"_He's not trying to kill me." Chris said. He'd swung his feet over the edge of the corn shuck bed and was managing to stay upright on his own. "He came damn close to killing you." _

"_Ha." Vin tried to sound unconcerned. "You know what they say 'mess with the best, die like the rest…'" but Chris didn't look convinced. "You're hurt Chris." Vin said then, his voice low and serious. "You've got Mary and Billy to think about now. I know you don't remember, but you do. They've already lost husband and father once. You're not gonna make me be the one to go back and tell them they've lost you." _

"_And you think I wanna tell Nettie I let you get killed?" Chris asked. Vin considered it. _

"_I'd sooner Nettie lost me than Billy lost you Chris. I know what it's like to lose your father. Can't imagine what it'd be like to lose him twice." He watched Chris' face. "Even if you don't remember Chris, tell me you don't care about that boy." Chris straightened up and looked Vin in the eyes. _

"_I care about a lot of things." _

M7*M7*M7

The hallway stunned Vin. Bright lights stabbed his eyes, odd and evil looking contraptions lined the walls, strange looking people in even stranger clothes stared at him. "_Chris?_" He didn't even mind how frightened he sounded.

"Just close your eyes Vin." Chris told him. "It'll be over in a minute. Just close your eyes and hold on."

_Like riding a bucking horse_. Vin reminded himself. _Bear down and hold on. _He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his hands around his jacket and was glad for the wheeled chair because right now he was pretty sure his legs wouldn't have carried him.

Even with his eyes closed, sounds and smells attacked Vin. It'd been a long time since he let himself feel anything close to panic. Except for seeing that boxcar flying outside his window yesterday.

Oh Lord.

"_Chris_?" He almost pleaded.

"Hold on." and he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, even as the chair kept moving forward. "A few more yards and we'll be on the elevator."

Great. Elevator. One more place Vin wasn't sure he wanted to be.

M7*M7*M7

_"JD!" Buck called out when he saw his friend approaching them on horseback. The snow rose past their horses' knees. "Where the hell you been?" _

"_Found a cave to ride out the storm." JD immediately dismissed any concern for himself for the real worry. "You find Vin?" _

"_Not yet." Buck sounded just as worried. "You know Casey was in town last night..." and he nodded at the relief on JD's face. "Guess Vin didn't head to Nettie's?" "Nope, he didn't." _

_Josiah looked at the sky. "I don't think the weather's staying on our side..." he said. "I suggest we make tracks to join Nathan and Ezra." _

"_Where are they?" JD asked, as all three turned their horses. _

"_They were headed up to Murder Creek..." _

M7*M7*M7

Vin kept his eyes closed until he felt the wheeled chair stop. He popped them open just in time to see the wall in front of him _slide open by itself._ Flying boxcars and moving walls. "Chris?" Vin shut his eyes again and tried to swallow down the fear that filled his throat and seemed about to choke him. "_Chris_?"

"Hold on Vin, just hold on."

"Chris –_ please…_" Vin put his hands out to stop the narrow wheels as he felt himself being pushed into a tiny space. A tiny _enclosed_ space. "I can't – please I can't –." And with an eerie noise that sound like a phantom breath, the ghostly wall slid shut again behind them, and the little room began to vibrate with a sensation of slowly falling.

Nothing was right. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be. Vin'd known a couple of days now that this wasn't his home, this wasn't where he belonged. But now – but now it was all falling down on him, crushing him under the weight of it. Flying boxcars, moving walls, furniture and clothing made out of material he'd never laid eyes on before, lamps with no flames, voices with no bodies.

That was all on the _inside _of this building. What was waiting for him on the _outside?_

"Chris – I can't – please –." Vin reached for the front of Chris' jacket as Larabee crouched beside him.

"Vin – listen to me." Chris' voice held calm and comfort. "I will get you out of here. I will get you back where you belong. Okay?" Vin stared at him, but couldn't nod. Couldn't answer at all. "Vin-." Chris tried again. "Do you believe me?"

That was it, wasn't it? That was the choice in front of him.

"Yeah." Vin nodded stiffly over his fear. His words came out almost one by one. "I believe you."

M7*M7*M7

"_Dammit Tanner – get your scrawny carcass away from that door and give me back my gun." Chris tried to stand, finally managed it, but wasn't too steady and had to sit down on the bed again. He pressed his hand against the bandage on his head. His brain felt loose in his skull. _

"_You wanna arm-wrestle for it?" Vin asked. He pulled Chris' poncho over his head and checked the gun one more time. "I'm not on the clock at the moment, Boss. You want to fire me later -." His words were cut off by the sound of horses and voices outside. _

M7*M7*M7__

The five men on horseback approached the little cabin, hampered by the deep snow, and urged on by their hope. Five guns drawn, they dismounted and cautiously began to disperse around the area. Suddenly the door to the cabin flew open and Vin hurried out, dressed in Chris' poncho and wearing no hat. 

"_Nathan – Chris is inside, he's been hurt." He gestured with his head toward the still-visible shadow of red beyond the cabin, and spoke quickly. "He took a blow to the head, was unconscious for a few minutes. He's disoriented, doesn't quite know who I am." Nathan took his saddlebags and gave his horse to Vin who swung up. Buck, Ezra and JD remounted as well. "He's coherent though, and his pupils are equal and react to the light. He lost a lot of blood but his pulse is strong and I don't think he's in shock." With that, the four men took off across the snow. _

_Josiah stood beside Nathan who stared after Vin in amazement. "Now that is a man who has paid attention." He said. _

_  
_M7*M7*M7__

By the time the falling stopped, and the wall breathed itself open again, Vin felt sick to his stomach. He'd seen worse, he'd survived worse, but at least he'd almost always understood the worse. Physical neglect, abuse, even torture – he might not have known why he was being hurt, but he usually knew what was being done to him. And once you'd been hurt a couple different ways, you got to know what to expect the next time. Once you got hurt enough times, it didn't surprise you anymore. Now, Vin had no idea what to expect one minute to the next.

Except that he'd have a strong, determined friend protecting him every step of the way.

M7*M7*M7

Chris could see the trust in Vin's eyes. He was thankful for it, and humbled by it – and not only by the trust Vin was giving a man he was certain he didn't know. Lost as he was right now, as peculiar and detailed and different from reality as his story was, in the telling of that story, it was obvious that Vin utterly trusted the man he knew as "his" Chris.

'Lord, just let me deserve that trust.' Larabee prayed. He wheeled Vin out of the elevator, into an empty hallway, and crouched down again to talk to him. "Okay Vin. You've been seeing a lot of things that scare you, and you're going to see a lot more. But nothing is going to hurt you. It's all going to be strange and new to you, but we aren't going to see anything that _I _haven't seen before, okay?" and Vin nodded solemnly. "Just hold on. Close your eyes if you have to. And remember – you can ask me anything and I will answer you. You can tell me anything and I will believe you. All right?"

A hesitation, a shaky nod. "All right."

M7*M7*M7

The sun had set, and Nettie and Ezra already stood out on the sidewalk, in the pool of light shed by the security light over the exit, when Chris brought Vin outside. He'd already pulled his truck up to the curb. He saw that Vin kept his eyes closed all the way out of the hospital. Just as well. "Okay, here we are." he announced. He heard a sharp intake of air that told him Vin had opened his eyes again. Shut them again immediately probably.

"You sure you've got everything you need?" Nettie asked. She stepped closer to Vin to lay her hands on his shoulders. "Honey, you shoulda put your jacket on before you came out here."

"Yeah. I will. Nettie." Not only were Vin's eyes probably squeezed tight, sounded like his teeth were too.

"He'll warm up in the car." Chris said. He set the wheelchair brakes, opened the passenger door of his truck, and then took a moment and a breath before confronting Vin with the next step in this perilous journey. "Vin? We gotta get you in the truck now." Vin opened his eyes and saw the trial being presented to him. He paled just a little more in the overhead light.

"You're gonna be in there too, ain't ya Chris?" He whispered. He didn't move his eyes from the truck and his face showed the starkly blank look of a person approaching panic. His hands were white knuckled on the arms of the wheelchair.

"Yep, just as soon as I get you in there I'll –." Chris started. But Vin turned panicked eyes up to him then and Ezra stepped forward.

"Mr. Larabee, perhaps it would be better if you were to situate yourself in the driver's seat before we attempt to place Mr. Tanner inside this conveyance. That way he will better know what to expect and how to conform his physical person to the space allowed?"

"In other words, _'you go first…'_" Chris shrugged his understanding. "Sounds good." He walked around to the other side and got in. Ezra and Nettie got Vin standing and stiffly moving the few feet to his doom.

"Honey, you'll be all right." Nettie assured him, giving him a hug after he'd set himself inside. He held onto her a few moments, trembling in her support. She kissed him and he sat back.

"I know…." Vin said. He looked to Ezra then. "I 'preciate…all y'said to me Ez'. Quotin' me that fella from the war. I'll hold onto that. It'll make the rest of this tolerable…" he offered his hand, and Ezra took it.

"By my count Vin, there are at least fourteen men at this very moment embroiled in the struggle to return you and your counterpart to your rightful places among your friends and families." He put his free hand over Vin's. "Remember – when you are at last safe and sound amongst your own compatriots – that you are and will remain a valued and vital member of this team as well. And it's been an honor to have you in our midst."

As Vin began to stammer out his surprise and thanks and embarrassment, Ezra produced a sheet of legal pad paper. "I also took the liberty, based on the dates and locations you mentioned, of researching the results of a number of wagering opportunities which your Ezra will no doubt appreciate. If you would be so kind as to give this to him…?" Vin sighed and took the paper, then grinned through the tears forming in his eyes.

"Might just hang onto this myself Ez'. Never know when I might want t'hoodwink one or two folks myself." Ezra returned the grin.

"As you see fit Mr. Tanner…"

Then Vin was safe and sound and buckled in, and the only thing left was to hit the road. "Remember what I told you." Chris said, waiting for Vin's answer before starting up his truck. Vin nodded.

"Might scare me, but won't hurt me. I ain't seen it, but you seen it all. I can ask anything and you'll answer me. I can tell y'anything, and you'll believe me." He gave Chris a questioning look. "That about cover it Cowboy?"

"That about covers it." Chris agreed. "Hold on." He turned the key and the truck roared to life. Vin visibly flinched, but otherwise had no reaction to what was happening. Chris kept watch on him out of the corner of his eye and eased the truck out of the hospital parking lot and onto the highway.

He thought, from the look on Vin's face, that Tanner was forcing himself to keep his eyes open, focused straight ahead and not be frightened by the scenery flying by. "I guess this must be faster than you're used to, hunh?" Vin swallowed and seemed to have to force himself to speak too.

"Well…" he drawled out. "There was the time I was out on the prairie, and outta nowhere this cyclone comes and snatches me up. Reckon there ain't nothing fast as I was goin' then. Hell it had me to the moon while it was still daylight, and back again to ground so fast it was a day earlier than I left…" He turned his wide, innocent eyes onto Chris, who was openly staring at him in disbelief. Vin assumed a hurt look before turning away again.

"Hmm." He huffed out, sounding annoyed. "Said you'd believe_ anything _I told ya…"

M7*M7*M7


	34. Chapter 34

M7*M7*M7

From the moment he decided to get Vin out of the hospital, Chris worried what Tanner's reaction would be to the outside world. He was so dead set in his Old West delusions, and reacted so violently to seeing the helicopter and other modern paraphernalia, Chris had prepared himself for the most extreme reactions he could imagine.

He hadn't imagined this reaction.

It was like driving with Billy when he'd had too much sugar. Vin twisted and turned in the passenger seat, trying to see everything at once. He repeatedly opened and shut the glove box, fascinated by the light. Activating the automatic mirrors and windows took up several minutes of his time. He twirled the rear view mirror around and closely examined the cigarette lighter. "Where's the engine in this thing?" He peered out the front window, then turned to look out the back.

"Under the hood." Chris took the lighter out of Vin's hand and tucked it into his pocket.

"Hood?" Vin asked. A hood you wore on your head. "What kinda hood?"

"The front of the truck, that's called a hood. The engine is under there."

"Hunh. Thought it was just a funny cowcatcher…hey heat!" he'd found the controls for the vents, fan, and temperature control. "Where's the fire box?" looking under the dashboard, as though it might be there.

"It runs on gasoline."

"Gassaleen?"

"It's like lamp oil I guess." Chris had to work at conjuring analogies 'this' Vin might understand. But Vin was already on his next discovery.

_BEEEEEP _

The sound startled both of them – but it delighted Vin and he was about to hit it again. "Don't…" Chris warned. That stopped Vin, for a second or two, and he punched the button that turned on the radio. Shrill, loud wailing filled the cab of the truck until Chris hit the eject button and a cassette popped out of the housing. One of the operas Mary liked to listen to. He turned off the radio.

"Sounds like somebody being tortured." Vin decided.

"Thank you. I've been trying to tell my wife that for months." Chris said.

That seemed to settle Vin down for awhile. He sat back in the seat and quietly watched the snowy world go by out his window. Chris'd gotten them off the main roads as soon as he could, now they were starting up the mountain road that would bring them to the cabin.

"You still think I'm 'your' Vin?" he asked after awhile.

"You are my Vin." Chris answered decidedly. "No question about it."

Vin wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was something, he was sure, it was something significant to be this man's friend. Same as his own Chris, being friends with this Chris almost seemed a vowed bond, one that only death would break. If even death could break it. Hell, the only reason he was fiddling with all these doohickeys was 'cause he trusted_ this _Chris enough to watch out for him while his attention was busy someplace else.

"I wish I was your Vin." He told Chris after a few moments. "Don't think a man could do better."

"You are my Vin." Chris repeated, and went on to explain before Vin could deny it. "Billy's not my son, but he is my son. Even before I married his mother, he was my son. As soon as I knew I had feelings for Mary, he was my son. I did and do worry about him, pray for him, take care of him. He couldn't be any more my son if he'd been born to me." He paused and took a breath.

"You are my Vin. Even if you aren't the man I've known the past four years, we've become friends over these past couple of days, haven't we? You're my friend, so you_ are_ 'my' Vin."

For a full minute there was absolute stillness inside the truck, Vin staring at Chris, and Chris keeping his eyes on the road. Something had to get through to Vin, let him know he was safe here, that he belonged here in the present with his friends and his family.

Something had to get through.

Finally, Vin swallowed hard and turned to watch out toward the road. "…'preciate it Cowboy…"

M7*M7*M7

_Something in the back of Vin's mind told him it was foolhardy and dangerous to be riding hard after the bad guys. Even the four of them together. They had pistols against – who knew what. The police were probably already on their way and wouldn't appreciate amateur interference. Chasing after them was definitely not the brightest thing he'd ever done. _

_But Vin decided that the skunk who hurt Chris, and tried to kill him, wasn't going to get away that easy. He wasn't going to get away at all. _

_Riding as fast as the horses would go through the snow, following the only set of footprints visible, Vin noticed that the tack on Nathan's horse was cracked and worn. He shook his head. Nathan was always letting somebody else have the better equipment, whatever it was. Vin figured he'd have to talk to him about that. _

__

M7*M7*M7

Vin quieted down on the rest of the trip. Once they were on the mountain road, it was an hour to the cabin, more or less. "How are you doin' over there?" Chris asked. Vin hadn't said anything in awhile, but his eyes were open, so he was awake.

"Feel like I'm havin' a vision…"

"Vision?"

"Yeah…ain't had one in awhile…was kinda scary then too."

Chris wondered if Vin was referring to that helicopter outside his hospital window. "What d'you mean – vision? Like you're dreaming?"

"Hell no. Visions ain't no dream. They're more – powerful – than dreams. You told me – my Chris told me once – sometimes dreams are spring cleaning, your mind just burning off what it don't need no more. Visions are things coming up, things y'gotta be on the lookout for. Y'see things you recognize, but you know they ain't what they are. Y'know? And you don't know what they are are, until the vision comes to happen…" He watched for Chris' reaction. "Y'understand?"

"Not rightly, I don't think." Chris said. "Sounds like a dream to me…" Vin sighed, not in frustration, but in trying to form his answer.

"I'se with the Commanch a few years…thought I'd be settled there, once I earned my place with 'em. But…after a few years, guess I musta been comin' on to JD's age, my JD anyway, nineteen 'r twenty. Got t'feeling unsettled, unhappy. Ain't like I ain't been unhappy in my life, 'fore 'r since, but this – this had teeth in it… One of the warriors told me it meant I was fixin' to have me a vision. Said I needed to go off by myself, no food, no water, just wait for the vision. And once I had it, I was t'come back and tell them what I'd seen…"

Even as Chris marveled at the story he was absolutely sure Vin had invented, he found himself intrigued. "And what did you see?"

"Well…I didn't rightly understand it…" Vin hesitated, as though reluctant to tell the tale. "I seen a knot a'water moccasins, except they was roiling on the ground there, 'stead of the water. And they was drivin' an owl before 'em. I felt like maybe I should do something, but – I was scared a'them snakes. That owl couldn't fly, seemed like. I couldn't 'hear 'em' hear 'em, y'know? But it's like I knew them snakes was all fired up finding an owl in the daylight. 'Cause that meant something real bad to them, n' they couldn't have that. And I just kept feelin' like I should do something, but them water moccasins, they're the nastiest animal out there. They bite you, they keep on bitin' you till you're dead. So...well…" he tugged on the fringe of the jacket laying across his lap. "…I didn't do nothin'. Them snakes, they swarmed that owl 'n killed it. Then it was like all hell broke loose. Animals up and just started killing each other, even rabbits 'n marmots was ripping each other to shreds."

He stopped again and swallowed a couple of times, and twisted his fingers harder in the fringe. "That's when I saw it. A wolf, a she-wolf, baring her fangs and snarling at 'em to stay away. But they swarmed her too…" his voice dropped, and he took a swipe at his eyes. "And when – when she fell, I saw behind her –." He coughed a few times to clear the quaver in his throat. "Her pup. She'd been trying t'protect her pup. Only they killed him same as everything else…and it was all just 'cause I didn't stop them snakes from killin' that owl…"

It took Chris a few swallows of his own to find his voice. He told himself it was a made-up story. It didn't happen, it had no real significance, it – "It sounds like what you told me about saving your Nathan from the lynch mob." Vin nodded, staring hard at something that wasn't there in front of him in the truck.

"That's what I thought, that's when it came to me that I had to do_ something_, when I saw Mary out there with the shotgun, alone, trying to save Nathan. She weren't doin' it just to save Nathan, but to save herself for her son…that's when I knew I had to do something."

"And that's when you saw your Chris for the first time." Chris said, remembering that story that Vin had told him.

"Shit, first time. Pfft. Had my eye on him right from the get-go. Man with a bounty on his head don't stay alive not paying attention to every gun near abouts."

"You told me that in the cemetery you asked him how long he'd been in town…" A brief glimmer sprung up in Chris that he could catch Vin in a discrepancy in his tale, and maybe put a crack in his armor. But Vin cocked an eyebrow.

"Of course I asked him – to see if he'd lie to me. Y'think I'm fool enough to go telling somebody I got a bounty on my head 'fore I know if he'd lie to me or not?"

"Why in the hell would you tell anybody y'got a bounty on your head anyway? I don't care how much a fella don't lie to you." Another story, Chris knew. But he'd wondered from the first time Vin told it to him why he gave himself so much trust in 'his' Chris.

"I knew." Vin said simply. "I knew I could trust him."

"Was he in your vision?"

"No…I got scared and shook off the vision 'fore it finished…"

"So, how'd you know you could trust him?"

Vin shrugged. "I just knew. Can't explain it no other way. Ain't been proved wrong yet." He shifted himself in the passenger seat, and took a look around the inside of the cab. "Don't expect to be proved wrong anytime soon neither…"

M7*M7*M7


	35. Chapter 35

M7*M7*M7

The cabin finally came into view and Chris wasn't sure how he felt about that. This was where his plan would succeed or fail. If it worked, he'd leave here with his Vin, safe and sound and back to normal. If it didn't work – but Chris wouldn't let himself think about that.

He kept the headlights on to illuminate the little building and doorway, and he pulled on the handle to open his driver's side door. Vin studied the situation a minute, and then opened his own door. "Give y'hand?" he asked, when he saw Chris pulling the box of supplies out of the back seat.

"No thanks, I can get it. Don't want you hurting your back…here's the key though, if you'd unlock the door?"

"Yep." Vin gave the key a long glance, before opening the cabin door. "Them lamps come in handy." He said, motioning to the headlights. "They kerosene?"

"Halogen."

"Hunh?"

"Uh – it's like kerosene." Chris decided to go for an easy answer. He shoved the car door shut with his elbow and followed Vin into the cabin. He set the box on the floor and pulled out the Coleman lantern. He left the cabin door open.

"Ain't you got none a'them…them…" In the harsh beam of the headlights, Chris could see Vin making a vague motion with his hand.

"Lights? Electric lights?" Chris was surprised. "I thought they bothered your eyes." He primed the lantern, and then lit the mantles with the flint wheel.

"Well…" Vin shrugged. "A fella gets used to conveniences y'know…ain't right to just yank 'em away…s'pose y'ain't got a indoor privy here neither…"

"Are you this grumpy back in 1871?"

"Sometimes, I reckon I am…"

Chris heard the wistful tone. He stood up and set the lantern on top of the potbelly stove. He laid a quick, firm hand on Vin's shoulder as he walked past to shut off the headlights and bring in the rest of the gear. "Don't worry. You'll be back aggravating your friends before you know it." He wanted_ his_ Vin back aggravating_ their _friends.

"What if I ain't?" Vin followed him a couple of feet out of the cabin. His breath was frost in the cold air. "What if I never get back? What if your Vin don't come back – or – what if he does come back? How far have y'thought this thing through?" Chris paused a moment, before reaching in to cut the lights. In the sudden darkness and moonlight, the snow glowed faintly blue, and the stars seemed to be impaling themselves on the bare trees.

"You tell me, what do_ you_ think will happen?"

Vin closed his eyes and took a deep deep breath. "Don't mean to sound ungrateful. I know y'done everything for me y'could think of. Still doin' it too. But I know you think I am 'your' Vin…and I know I ain't. How long you think you'd be able to put up with that? 'Cause I don't know how long I could take you lookin' at me, knowin' you're seeing somebody else…"

Quietly shutting the car door, Chris came around the front to lean against the hood. He folded his arms and kicked at the snow at his feet. "There's a lotta Vin Tanners out there. And that's _just_ 'my' Vin Tanner. I've had to see him a lotta different ways, over the few years I've known him. If – _if_ – you don't get back where you belong, and _if_ my Vin don't come back…" Chris tried to picture that situation. He didn't like it, and he didn't want to face the possibility of it.

But – the possibility existed, didn't it?

"C'mon, let's get inside and put some coffee on…I think this might be a long conversation…"

M7*M7*M7

_Nathan and Josiah went into the cabin and found Chris trying to get outside. "C'mon now Chris, sit down so I can get a look at you." They each grabbed an arm and urged Chris back to the bed. _

"_No, I have to go after him. He shouldn't be out there." _

"_Vin can take care of himself. You know that." Josiah said. They got Chris sitting on the edge of the bed. Nathan set his saddlebags on the table and started peeling off the makeshift bandage. _

"_No – he ain't Vin." Chris tried to stand and Josiah held him down. "He shouldn't be out there." Nathan and Josiah exchanged a look over Chris' head. _

"_You mean that skinny fella with the long hair, blue eyes, wearing your poncho, and riding Nathan's horse ain't Vin Tanner?" Josiah asked. _

"_He's Vin Tanner…" Chris started, trying to pick the pieces of story out of his spinning brain. "But he ain't our Vin. He's educated – went to a University. Wild dogs killed his Ma, and Nettie helped raise him. His father hanged himself when Vin was five. His Chris owns a horse ranch, and his Nathan is a doctor…" _

_Nathan kept nodding and murmuring encouragement, letting Chris spin his tale. The man wasn't disoriented – he was delusional. The longer they could keep him distracted, the longer they could keep him in the cabin. _

"_You got an angry looking knot on your head here Chris – any idea how it happened?" _

"_Was going out after the McGintys…McIntyres?" Chris pressed his hand against his temple. "The lawyer was the brother…Vin thinks that's who attacked him…" _

"_Okay, we're just going to lay you back here Chris…" The two men got Chris settled back onto the pillow. _

"_Was on the lookout for bullets, not rocks…he got bit by a bat y'know. A rabid bat." _

"_Who did? When?" Nathan asked, not trusting Chris' state that it was only a delusion. Rabies wasn't nothin' to fool with. _

"_Vin – that Vin. This Vin. Few years ago I guess. Said they got shots for it now…"His voice drifted off and he closed his eyes. _

"_Right…" Nathan shook his head and said to Josiah, "And it's Vin that needs lookin' after…" _

__

M7*M7*M7

The little cabin stood huddled in the snow, on the edge of a stand of barren aspen trees. The blue glow of moonlight caught and twisted in the patchy curl of smoke rising from the chimney, and made distinct shadows through the narrow windows. Nothing else moved in the cold night.

The two men sat in hard chairs in front of the wood stove, far enough apart that they could see each other's faces clearly in the light from the lantern hanging off a peg on the wall, without needing to turn. The sound and smell of percolating coffee filled the single room, coming from the beat up graniteware coffee pot set on top of the stove.

"Reckon it's done?" Chris asked.

"Reckon it matters?" Vin answered.

"Not a coffee connoisseur, hunh?"

"If that means I take it with whiskey, 'yes'."

Chris shook his head as he reached to get the cups out of the box near his chair before standing up. "Even if I had some whiskey with me, I wouldn't give you any while you're on painkillers…" Along with the rest of the supplies, Mary had packed a couple of tin cups, a can of evaporated milk, and a muslin bag of biscuits.

"Whiskey's one a'the best pain-killer I know of." Vin accepted the bag from Chris and looked inside. "Them little bits a'chalk they give me can't be no pain-killer." He took out a biscuit and set the bag on his knee.

"You're not supposed to chew them y'know." Chris said.

"Why not?" Vin asked. He was perfectly serious. Really, Chris didn't know. He just always figured you swallowed them whole for a reason.

"They don't taste so bad if you swallow them without chewing."

"Hmm, have to remember that, 'cause they sure do taste bad." Vin handed over the bag of biscuits and took the offered cup. He sucked in a breath of pain and sat back very gingerly. "Don't work so good anyhow."

"Maybe you should take another one – been awhile since you had your last." Chris waited before taking his chair again, waited for Vin's answer. Tanner shook his head.

"Nothin' wrong with a little pain. Keeps a man heedful." He took a bite of biscuit. "Makes him thankful he ain't got worse." Chris took his chair then, and set the muslin bag into the box of supplies.

"That's not what Ezra says."

"_Both _Ezras…" They drank their coffee awhile, and Vin finished the biscuit and wiped his fingers on his trousers. "So – tell me. 'Bout all the Vin Tanners you know."

"Well…" Chris tried to drag the word out, wanting to give himself more time. "I know a Vin Tanner who is smart, funny, and outgoing. He'll take on all comers, not afraid of anything – or at least doesn't let on if he is." Vin leaned forward a little, listening intently.

"I also know one who is shy, and tries to keep to himself when there's a lot of strangers around. He keeps on alert though, even then, and not much gets past him. There's the one who won't admit much to something or someone hurting him, but he absolutely will not stand by if someone or something hurts one of his friends…" Chris trailed off and stared down into his coffee.

"There's also the Vin Tanner who I was just gettin' to know this past year, since this whole mess with the McGintys started." He took a sip of coffee and Vin prompted,

"What's he like?" Hanging onto every word.

"He's scared, determined, won't let on that he's frightened, but keeps a sharper eye on everything than he thinks I notices…" Chris took another sip of coffee and looked at Vin over the rim. "Think I know a_ couple _of those Vin Tanners…"

"He's a good man then?" Vin missed or ignored the last sentence.

"Vin Tanner is one of the best men I know."

"_Your _Vin Tanner." Vin said, sounding a little disappointed.

"_Both _Vin Tanners." Chris answered him firmly. Vin still missed or ignored it.

"What if he don't come back?" and Chris heard the unspoken question –_ 'what'll happen to me?'_

What _would_ happen to this Vin, if_ his _Vin didn't 'come back'? A few ideas, most of them unpleasant, came to mind. Vin would never be able to testify against the McGintys in this state. There was enough circumstantial evidence to convict them, that was no problem. But if word got out about why Vin wasn't testifying…that's what worried Chris the most. Would Vin be sent back to the psych hospital? Given medications meant to subdue his disorientation, set upon by counselors and psychiatrists bent on subtly but utterly flaying his soul. Would Vin be able to survive that imprisonment again?

Or – if he wasn't re-committed, would "Old West" Vin be able to survive the 21st Century? Chris could shield him from a lot if Vin stayed on the ranch, or maybe he could live here in the cabin…but then Chris mentally berated himself. One way or the other – it seemed Vin would be locked away.

"Keepin' me awake, you're thinking so loud over there…" Vin's soft chide brought Chris back to the moment at hand. "Can't be good."

"I don't know…" Chris didn't want to share his grim thoughts. "If _my _Vin doesn't come back – I'll miss him. He's a good friend, and he's a lotta fun. I guess we helped each other through some of the worst times in both our lives, and I depend on him for a lot. If he doesn't come back…" and Chris tried to push the vision of hospitals, locked doors, and controlled medications out of his mind. "I'll offer you the same deal I offered him: a good job, a decent place to live, more friends than you can probably stand – and a permanent place in my life."

"Always be a place for me by your fire, hunh?" Vin didn't sound like he was being sarcastic or disbelieving.

"Yes." Chris answered firmly. "If I had more than that, I'd give it."

"More?" Now Vin sounded surprised. "Hell Chris – what more is there than that? A home and a family – that's more'n I ever had before, not 'til I met my Chris. I figure a man's gotta be pretty well blessed to have it offered to him twice." Chris nodded, but couldn't answer that.

"He must be a pretty good man – your Chris."

"He is – he surely is." Vin's eyes looked at something faraway for a moment, then cleared as he looked at Chris. "Ain't sayin' he ain't human as the next, 'n we done had our disagreements… But – he trusts me, and that ain't something I ever come by easy." Vin swirled his coffee cup. "He's the first man I'se ever afraid to disappoint. And it's still a mighty short list."

M7*M7*M7


	36. Chapter 36

M7*M7*M7

Two men lay stretched out on sleeping bags, in front of a toasting stove. Chris had turned the lantern off, and the only light came through the cracks in the old stove. Both men stared at different shadows flickering over the rough walls; neither man gave in to sleep as a staggering tangle of problems confronted each one.

Chris' mind ran over every scenario he could think of happening with Vin, and only one of them was pleasant: Vin waking up the next morning remembering_ who, what, when, why and how. _Vin waking up as_ Vin._ But Chris had less and less hope that it would happen just that fast.

Every other scenario worried him, because every other scenario seemed to result in an unhappy ending – Vin either sent back to the psych hospital, or trapped between two worlds. Maybe worst of all was the possibility – though it seemed unlikely – that Vin would come back, but be so overwhelmed by the fear and trauma that had kept him hidden these past few days, that he'd be driven back into the profound mental paralysis he'd suffered after his mother's death.

But, as disturbing as any and all of these situations were, they were still possibilities, and Chris tried to find the way out of each of them. Nettie was Vin's next of kin and unless he was a danger to himself or someone else, it would take her consent or a court order to send Vin back to the hospital. Which left scenario number two, with Vin believing he belonged in the 19th century but having to live in the 21st century.

Thinking that one over, Chris relaxed a little more. Vin, _this_ Vin, seemed to be okay with his surroundings. Once he determined that any particular thing wasn't a threat to him – the assorted medical paraphernalia, the shower, furniture, cars and electric lights – he just accepted it. It was probable – Chris wouldn't allow himself to think that it would be _likely _– that Old West Vin would slowly and quietly become himself again as he absorbed more and more of his real life.

Still, one tiny, inconsequential, microscopic particle of a non-event stared at Chris and quietly insisted that he pay attention to it: Vin emphatically saying_ 'you don't name your horse, y'never know when you might have to eat it.'_

As long as Chris had known Vin, he'd been vegetarian, even eggs and milk. It wasn't a cultural or social or political choice – it was a physical necessity. Sometimes just the thought of any kind of food that 'used to have a face' was enough to make Vin gag. Could Vin be that far lost in this persona that such a strong, visceral response would be completely obliterated?

The obvious answer was 'yes' – because what would the other answer be? That this_ really was_ 'Old West' Vin? That somehow he'd time-traveled one hundred and thirty years into the future to have life-saving back surgery? Sure. That was right up there with Buck's close encounter with the woman who was a Siamese twin – from the waist down.

Except that Nathan had confirmed later on that such a thing was more than possible – he'd seen case studies of it. Chris turned his attention to Vin, without turning his head.

Well, the day Nathan produced a case study of time travel Chris would be a believer.

Vin had less profound thoughts on his mind: he wanted to run. If he ran far enough, he'd find Chris again, wouldn't he? His Chris? It happened the first time like that. He'd run from Tascosa as far as his horse and his money took him, and a week later he was standing with Chris Larabee. _His_ Chris Larabee.

He couldn't help a soft laugh at that. As though Chris Larabee – _his _Chris Larabee – could be claimed by anybody. As he laughed, he felt Chris – _this_ Chris – go still at hearing it, but he didn't ask Vin what it was for.

The only times Vin remembered anybody telling him '_you belong to me_' was the times he riled the wrong person and they figured he owed them something. Nobody'd ever said he belonged to them the way something precious and valued belonged to them.

'Course, he'd never said anybody belonged to him neither. He couldn't be sure he'd even so much as thought it about anybody. Felt it maybe. If that feeling of being worried about somebody and watching their back whether they wanted you to or not was 'belonging'. If that feeling of relief when that somebody – bloodied or beaten – stood up again was 'belonging'.

Maybe belonging was fighting with somebody and forgiving them and then fighting with them again. Maybe it was knowing a person as much as you could know a person – and still be willing to fight for them and maybe even die for them. Maybe belonging wasn't something you decided, but something that got decided for you.

If it was, then maybe he felt that one or two people in his life belonged to him.

If it was, then maybe one or two people in his life felt that he belonged to them.

M7*M7*M7

Chris heard Vin let out a soft sound. He listened a few moments, wanting to be sure it was a laugh and not a breath of pain. He didn't hear anything else, and he didn't want to pry into what Vin could be finding so funny right at the moment. Chris sure couldn't think of anything funny just then. He was out in the middle of nowhere, with a delusional friend, who had death threats hanging over him. The bad guy was still out there, looking for Vin. Hell, even the good guys were out there, looking for Vin, and Chris wondered what'd happened when the detectives showed up at the hospital to find no Vin. He had no doubt that Nettie would be equal to the task.

Off to his right, Vin pushed himself up on his elbow and reached for the canteen set beside him.

"How's your back?" Chris asked.

"Tolerable." Vin answered before taking a swig of water.

"Meaning it isn't quite bad enough to make you pass out."

"That's what I said. Tolerable." He swirled the canteen a little and, before taking another drink, asked. "So – how much does that job a'yours pay? The one y'give your Vin?" Chris knew that_ this_ Vin's wages in 1871 was a dollar a day, plus room and board, and he wondered what reaction he'd get as he said:

"I pay him twelve dollars an hour."

Vin choked on his water. "Hell, for that much money, _I'll stay_."

M7*M7*M7

Morning came too soon for Vin, who spent most of the night struggling with his dilemma – he wanted to go home, he had to get home, what if he didn't get home? Then the thought abruptly hit him – _what if he was home?_ It almost took his breath away it was so simple and straightforward.

What if he_ was_ this Chris' Vin?

He tried to reason himself out of it – he knew what he knew, he had the memories and the scars to go with those memories of the life he knew he had lived. But that meant – what? That somehow he'd gone ahead in time over a hundred years?

Well, he'd heard stories from some of the elders who said they'd gone back to their ancestors for wisdom, or gone ahead in time for knowledge. They'd been talkin' about visions a'course. So maybe that's all this was. A vision.

Or maybe it wasn't.

He couldn't have made this all up on his own – Vin knew he wasn't that smart. But the other Vin was. Or at least the others thought he was. But why would he be making it all up? He was used to scrapes with folks on both sides of the law, that wouldn't send him running for cover. So those outlaws who killed that fella at the saloon had a bounty on his head – that wasn't nothing new. He'd been facing that down on his own a long time – now he had friends to protect him, so that couldn't be the reason he'd be hiding.

Still, he thought back to when his leg was broke, out in the middle of nowhere, and he was dragging himself along twenty miles to the nearest town. He ignored the pain then, and just kept on no matter how bad it hurt. Then the Comanche found him, and just as soon as he knew he was safe, that they were going to help him and not kill him, the pain just swallowed him up so bad he couldn't talk, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't even think.

Because as soon as he knew he was safe, he didn't have to hide the pain anymore.

He looked over to Chris still asleep on the bedroll next to him.

Couldn't get anymore safe than having six good men watching your back, could you? A man could set down a world of pain inside the protection of those six men.

What if he_ was_ home?

M7*M7*M7

Coming back into the cabin from using the privy, Chris heard Vin trying to get himself into an upright position. From the sound of the mutters and curses, and the breathless panting, it was a lost cause. Chris held his breath and steeled himself not to show the overwhelming disappointment he was going to feel when Vin was still not his Vin. "What're you doing?" He asked, shutting the door behind himself.

"Robbin' the stage, what's it look like I'm doing?" Vin – Old West Vin – asked. He eased himself stiffly back onto the sleeping bag and pillow. "Damn, I must be gettin' old."

"Or you been shot, beaten, and strangled." Chris pointed out – more to try to reassure himself than Vin. "Sleeping on the floor in the cold, bound to be stiff." Even he could hear the dull sadness in his voice.

"…sorry…" Vin whispered after a moment. He turned onto his side, to try a different way to get off the floor. Chris cursed himself for being so transparent. He walked over to help.

"No, I'm sorry Vin." He crouched down and held out both hands. "I know I'm pushing too hard." Vin accepted the help, as he shrugged.

"Can't help wantin' what we want…" Even with the help, he sucked in a long breath of pain, and held onto Chris' arms until he was steady enough to stand on his own. "Wouldn't a'minded waking up next t'the ornery cuss who's _my_ Chris…"

"Would he have helped you up off the floor?" Chris tried to joke.

"Yeah, he would. He did – more time's than I wanted him to…" Vin took a few cautious paces around the small room, keeping a hand pressed to his back. "It was gettin' real bad, 'specially those last couple weeks. Damn Larabee musta slept with his ear to the wall, didn't seem I could so much as sit down hard in the chair, and he'd be there faster'n a gunshot. Making sure I'se all right, asking was I in pain. Put me back into bed even when I'se hollerin' at him to leave me the hell alone."

"And who was it you called the ornery cuss?" Chris asked, watching Vin make his slow circuit of the cabin's single room. Watching, he knew, for any sign that his Vin was coming back.

"I ain't much used to fussin'." Vin allowed. "And 'specially not from Chris."

"Him bein' the ornery one…"

"Well…reckon there ain't one amongst the seven of us isn't ornery some way or t'other." Vin set himself into the chair to pull the brogans on again. "Your Vin's got narrow feet for a fella spends so much time outside…"

"I'll tell him you said so…" Satisfied that Vin was physically all right, Chris stoked up the fire and started getting things ready for breakfast.

"Might thank him for the duds too, you get the chance. Hope he weren't too particular fond of 'em, seein's he won't be getting 'em back."

"I'll tell him that too." Chris said, when no other answer presented itself. The conversation was painfully shallow – neither man obviously wanted to broach the serious topic:_ what now?_

Once he had the shoes on, Vin pushed himself up out of the chair again. "Where y'keep the privy around these parts?"

"Out back, near the tree line. Can't miss it…" Chris watched Vin slowly tug on his leather fringed jacket, and saw the pain cut across his face. "You be all right on your own out there? I'll walk with you."

"I can make it. I 'preciate the offer though." He lifted the latch, but stood a moment at the open door. "I been thinkin' Chris – if things don't work out the way either of us wants it to…if the offer still stands – I'd be proud to make my place with you."

Chris almost couldn't breathe for the sudden rush of hope that filled him. He knew, he just new, Vin was on his way back. But he held his enthusiasm and managed to nod.

"Be proud to have you."

M7*M7*M7


	37. Chapter 37

M7*M7*M7

Wondering about this whole situation filled Vin's mind, as he started back to the cabin. Being with 'this' Chris felt good, but not right. He'd had that feeling before in his life, spending time with companions who stayed for a journey, or a season, or just an afternoon. None of those had ever felt as right as it felt to be with 'his' Chris. Maybe this was just a vision, time-traveling the way the elders said they done for wisdom, or knowledge.

Maybe it was the same thing as happened that one winter he was with the Commanche. The oldest man in the tribe – so old that even the next oldest man called him "Grandfather" – took sick with a white man's sickness. One day, when he seemed to be at his weakest, he walked into the woods and didn't come back. A raging snowstorm blew up that night and the women started keening their death songs for him. But early the next day, Grandfather walked out of the woods – not only alive, but with no trace of the sickness. He told everyone that his own grandmother – who had been born and died before anyone even knew the white man existed – had taken him back to her fire and healed him of his sickness. He said it had taken many days, and when he was well, she had sent him home again.

Vin remembered calling out for his Ma just as he was sure he was dying. Maybe, like Grandfather, maybe his Ma _had _sent him on to be healed, and when he was healed, she'd get him back home again too. Ma would do that, he knew it. Ma would still be looking out for him. She'd get him back home.

The thought cheered him, and for the first time since he realized he wasn't where he belonged, Vin had a real hope that he'd get back home again.

He had barely gone a yard from the privy when he noticed the pine branch lying next to his track of footprints – it hadn't been there when he came out, and it was yards away from any pine tree. Forgetting immediately and entirely which century he did or didn't belong to, Vin's tracking instincts came up in full. Someone had covered their tracks from the woods to the cabin, and then walked to the cabin in his tracks.

His hand instinctively reached for his gun, no matter that it wasn't there. He had no cover between the woods and the cabin, he was a clear target in the white landscape, but the side of the cabin that faced him had no windows, so that was something in his favor.

Crouching down as low as the stitches in his back would let him, Vin covered the distance back to the cabin as fast as he could. He pressed himself up against the rough wood and tried to come up with a plan in a hurry. He could hear voices from inside the cabin, Chris calm and even, and someone else, desperate and loud.

No gun, no real weapon to hand at all, an enemy he couldn't see, and a friend he couldn't lose. He'd been in worse messes, right?

Probably, but he couldn't think of any right now.

He made his way around the cabin, trying to figure out where the two men were inside by where their voices were coming from. It was hard to tell though. They sounded like they were in the middle, probably near the woodstove, but that was the best he could be sure of.

Staying low to avoid the window, Vin made his way to the door of the cabin. It'd been thrown open and he risked a quick peek inside. Chris was on his knees, facing the far wall. He had one hand pressed to the back of his head, and blood welled through his fingers. He swayed where he knelt. The bad guy must've got the drop on him, and now he had a huge knife pressing into the back of Chris' neck. His back was to the door. As quietly as he could, Vin pushed himself to his feet and took a torturously long second to gather his strength, before stepping into the doorway.

"You looking for me?" His only thought was to get the guy away from Chris. As soon as the fella turned and saw him, Vin started to run as fast as he could across the snowfield. If he could get to the woods, he knew he'd have a chance. He looked back once to make sure the bait worked – and it did. The bad guy was hard on his heels.

Only – it wasn't that fella McIntyre.

M7*M7*M7

_About a half hour into their ride, Vin began to feel lightheaded. Not surprising he figured, considering everything he'd been through, and the little he'd had to eat or drink in the last 36 hours. Still, he kept on alert, determined to bring those bastards to justice. Up ahead, he noticed the tracks of several horses. He motioned the others to hold up. _

"_You boys come through this way?" he asked. They hadn't. A little further on, one set of tracks broke off from the others. "All right, we'll split up. I'll follow those tracks…if nothing turns up, we meet back here in twenty minutes." They agreed without question. Vin turned his horse in one direction; Buck, Ezra and JD turned the other way. _

_Picking his way through the dense undergrowth, and keeping an eye on the terrain, Vin felt the fear dancing on his spine. Stupid weekend cowboy – who'd he think he was? Likely get himself killed out here, pretending to be John Wayne. But he could track and he had a gun, and the fellas must've called the cops before heading out here themselves, so it would be okay. _

_Just as he thought that, his horse stumbled and fell, and Vin ended up on the ground, in the snow – and horseless. His mount quickly regained its feet, and stood there, shaking the snow off its withers. Vin grumbled and shook his head, feeling even more lightheaded. As he got to his own feet, he saw it – the rope stretched between two trees. He'd been thrown on purpose. Every nerve went on alert. _

_He scanned the woods again. Slowly, and not too far away, one dark shape separated from the shadows and came toward him. Vin was expecting one of the McGintys, but he didn't recognize this man. Whoever he was, he held a shot gun level to Vin's chest and motioned him to raise his hands. _

"_Remember me?" _

"_No." Vin said as he lifted his hands. The police were coming, right? The police were going to come and save his sorry hide from his own hubris. Right? _

"_Well, let me see if I can refresh your memory – I'm the fella that shot you in the back and then hung you from a tree." _

"_I didn't get shot in the back." Vin blurted. Great, piss the guy off why dontcha? If a man with an elephant gun pointed at you says he shot you in the back, agree with him. Fortunately, the guy didn't seem to notice. _

"_You're still standing, so that's twice I haven't been able to kill you. I don't reckon I'll miss this time." He raised the rifle and took aim. Vin decided he wouldn't cower, and he wouldn't beg. He lowered his arms and stood up straight. _

"_Mom, I hope you're waiting for me." He prayed. _

_He was only sorry that he'd die in this retro-60's poncho. _

_  
_M7*M7*M7

Vin's strength rapidly left him, but he made better time than his pursuer. He didn't spend any time wondering who the hell that fella was – he just wanted him as far from Chris as he could get him. The snow was less deep in the woods, and he gained some ground. He didn't know how far he ran, he only knew how bad his lungs burned and his back ached. He only knew that he had to keep going. If all that fella was carrying was a knife, Vin only had to stay away from him to be safe. If he got far enough away he'd be able to double back and get to Chris.

Suddenly, up ahead, he saw two people standing. One man holding a rifle, pointing it at –

Vin stopped dead.

Pointing it at _him_, only it wasn't him.

"What the - ?" The question died as heard the footsteps behind him, and he turned barely in time to see a massive knife with a broken tip swinging down toward him. He tried to dodge it, and almost did. The blunt, ragged blade drove into his back, right where he'd been shot and stitched up, and felt like it was going to come out the front of him.

As he collapsed into the snow, knowing he was going to die, he thought of his mother. "Hope I ain't bustin' in on you unexpected…"

M7*M7*M7

_Chris Larabee was angry. First at himself for not keeping watch, thinking it was Vin coming back into the cabin, and getting whacked over the head for his trouble. He was angry with Vin for running decoy when he was hardly strong enough to stand upright for any length of time. Mostly, he was angry at McGinty, for a whole assortment of crimes and sins that Chris just lumped under the catch-all of dumb-ass. When he got his hands on that "lawyer", there wouldn't be enough left to go to fingerprint, much less go to trial. _

_He made a fast call on his cell phone to Buck, then left the cabin to go after Vin. The footprints were less clear in the woods, and he was a little unsteady from the knock on his head, but he kept going. He finally cleared a rise. There right in front of him, stood McGinty, bringing his knife down into Vin. Chris had his gun in a holster on his hip, but he didn't trust his vision and his aim enough at the moment that he wouldn't get Vin instead. Grabbing a heavy fallen branch, he brought it down as hard as he could onto McGinty's head. _

_  
_M7*M7*M7

_  
The sound of a scuffle behind him made Vin and his murderer-to-be turn. There, a dozen yards away, Vin saw – himself. And McGinty coming up behind. The image rippled like he was seeing a reflection in water. _

"_What the hell is that?" his attacker asked. A sudden strong wind blew a veil of snow all around them and Vin did the first thing that came to mind – he ran like crazy. He wasn't as familiar with this terrain as he thought he'd be, and the squall disguised all but the most immediate trees. He tripped a few times on roots and fallen branches, but kept his feet and kept going. _

_One step too far and he left the ground behind. One loud surprised curse shot out of him as he fell into nothing, feeling like he was leaving stomach somewhere on the ledge above him. He made hard, excruciating contact with the earth again a few seconds later, landing on the business end of a fallen branch that plowed a furrow into his back. _

_His mother was the last thing he thought of before he passed out. _

M7*M7*M7


	38. Chapter 38

M7*M7*M7

The first thing Vin became aware of was the clouds of snow blowing around him. The second thing he became aware of was that he was standing - which must mean he wasn't dead. He took a cautious step and his foot hit something. He looked down to see what it was.

McIntyre.

Laying face up, with a broken branch across his head, and a spreading pool of blood in the snow beneath.

Vin still reached automatically for his gun, though he hadn't carried it for days, and he stumbled backward a little with the movement. McIntyre stayed white and bleeding and still. Vin bent down to pick up the rifle that lay well away from McIntyre's hand, but the pain that shot all the way up to his shoulder reminded him of his own wound. He reached around to feel his back, fully expecting to find the knife still sticking into him, but all he felt was blood and more pain. He had to get help.

He had to get back to Chris.

Keeping his hand pressed hard over the knife wound, Vin turned to decide which way was back to the cabin. He was losing blood fast and he felt himself growing lightheaded. He couldn't remember how far he'd run from the cabin to here, but if it was too far, he knew he'd never make it.

The woods seemed different than he remembered them, of course he'd been running for his life and Chris' just a few minutes ago. Still...this couldn't be the same path he'd taken...the trees were bigger, the snow was deeper and coming from a different direction...this couldn't be the way back to the cabin. He could feel the blood running through his fingers and soaking down his pant leg. He didn't have much time to waste figuring out which way to go.

A sudden gust of wind blew past him, nearly pushing him off his feet. A dark object rolled through the snow and swirled at his feet.

Chris' poncho.

Vin sank to his knees in the snow.

He was home.

M7*M7*M7

_The first thing Chris was aware of was the snow blowing into his eyes as he pushed himself up on his elbows. The second thing he was aware of was McGinty lying flat and bleeding in the snow in front of him - and no Vin. He reached out toward McGinty, willing himself to kill the stinking sonuvabitch if Vin wasn't somewhere nearby and still alive. _

_The world came into noisy focus as a hand grabbed his arm and Buck's voice warned him, "Don't move now Chris. We've got more paramedics coming for you. You just rest..." _

_"Vin?" But Buck didn't answer that and Chris grabbed Buck's hand hard. "Where's Vin?" _

_"He's - he's -" Buck's eyes went across the snowfield to a knot of uniforms and equipment at the edge of the cliff. "He's still alive Chris." "I have to get to him." Chris tried harder to push himself up, and Buck tried harder to keep him down. "McGinty -." _

_"McGinty is out cold Chris, and cuffed. We got rescue personnel packaging Vin and bringing him up the side of the hill there. We got more paramedics coming to take care of you. Lie still Larabee or so help me I will sit on you. You got that?" But Chris wasn't willing to go for that. _

_"I need to get to Vin." _

_"You need to let the professionals take care of him Chris." Buck had to shout over the wind and creaking branches. ""He's alive and Nathan is there. You've got a lump the size of my fist on your head and you've lost blood too. Now lie still." _

_Even as Chris was getting ready to try to get up one more time, more paramedics and police officers swarmed the scene, and Chris soon found himself on the receiving end of bandages, IV's, and a barrage of questions. Buck stuck close by to him, and both men kept their eyes on the cliff. _

_  
_M7*M7*M7

The trail of horseprints petered out into nothing, and Buck, Ezra and JD swung their horses to ride back to Vin. After about ten minutes, they reached the spot where they'd originally split up. Up ahead, through the blowing snow, they saw the dark figure of a man, struggling to make his way through the snow.

"Vin!" JD shouted and took off towards him. The other men followed. Vin didn't even seem to notice them, as they dismounted and surrounded him. He finally looked up when Buck put his hands on his shoulders. Lord, Vin was a pale as the snow, and a thick trail of blood had frozen down his back. He trailed Chris' poncho in his left hand.

"Need Chris." he said, when he seemed to recognize his friends. "Need to get to Chris."

"We'll get you Chris." Buck promised him. "JD - get Nathan, quick as you can."

"You bet." JD jumped on his horse and was gone in a spray of snow and hoofbeats.

"Mr. Tanner - if you would permit me..." Ezra attempted to gently pry Vin's hand away from the wound he guarded with it. "The bleeding seems to have stopped." he told Buck. "I recommend we wrap him in Mr. Larabee's cloak and proceed with all haste toward Mr. Jackson."

"I'm with you on that Ezra." Buck agreed. Before either one of them could make another move, Vin collapsed into the snow at their feet.

M7*M7*M7

_Chris and Nettie spent too many hours waiting for Dr. Clemens to appear and give them news on Vin. "I think he's coming back Nettie." He said, after he'd filled her in on everything that had happened. "I can't explain it, I don't have any proof. Just - he seemed to be coming to some idea of peace with the whole thing this morning." _

_"So - you think it was worth it?" Nettie asked. She wasn't accusing, she sounded hopeful. _

_"Yes. If it gives us Vin back, yes it was worth it." _

_  
_M7*M7*M7

_  
When Dr. Clemens finally did come into the surgical waiting area, it was after six pm. She looked exhausted, and leaned back against the wall to give them her news. _

_"He lost a lost of blood and incurred a large amount of muscle damage to his back. This current trauma completed obliterated the previous surgical field. He's going to need some reconstructive surgery on his back, and physical therapy. So -." Her voice turned hard. "No overnight trips, no Indiana Jones stunts, not one single word about springing him before he's ready. Now, he's in recovery, so you can go on up to his room and wait for him there. But if either one of you so much as looks outside while you are in his presence, I will have you banned from this hospital for life." _

__

M7*M7*M7

When Vin came to, he found himself face down on a bed, next to a stove. His back throbbed brutally, and he had the familiar aftertaste of laudanum in his mouth. He turned his head as much as he could to have a look around. He was alone in the shack, though he could hear voices and horses outside. He had to find Chris - he had to know that he was home.

M7*M7*M7

"How's he look?" Chris asked Nathan. Ezra and Josiah had already taken McIntyre back to town. Buck and JD were building a travois to take Vin home.

"He's one damn lucky man I can tell you that." Nathan said. He hefted the broken knife they'd found near McIntyre. "Knife hit him so deep and so hard, musta knocked that bullet right out of him. It'll take him awhile to heal, but he will heal. He ain't gonna die now Chris."

Chris nodded, weighing the information against what he knew had happened in the cabin before. That Vin wasn't shot. This Vin didn't have a bullet in him either. Chris wanted to ask Nathan how he could tell if this Vin really had ever been shot, but wasn't sure how to phrase it.

"What about the stitches you put in him before?"

"Tore 'em right out. Hit the exact spot I worked on him before. Had to pull what was left of the old stitches out. Wound looked pretty clean though, guess it was finally starting to heal." Nathan looked Chris over. "How are you doing? That knock on your head starting to clear? You were saying some pretty strange things before."

"I don't know Nathan." Chris answered honestly. That Vin had gone off with his poncho, this Vin had come back with it. "I'm gonna go sit with Vin, until we're ready to go."

"That's a good idea. Get some rest. We'll let you know when everything is ready."

Chris nodded and turned to the cabin. When he opened the door and walked inside, he found Vin standing - barely - next to the bed. He hurried to him. "What the hell you think you're doing?" He took Vin's arm to keep him steady. "You know what Nathan would say if he saw you out of bed already?"

"Chris?" Vin asked. He sounded like he wasn't sure.

"Yeah." Chris answered, just as unsure. Vin gave him a close look.

"How did my Ma die?"

"She died of putrid fever when you were five."

"Not wild dogs?" Vin asked. The question sent a thrill of apprehension through Chris.

"No Vin, not wild dogs."

"I ain't educated."

"Not from books, no." Chris kept a hold of Vin's arm. Tanner had begun to shake.

"I ever tell you how I broke my knee?"

"You said you got ambushed out on the trail when you were sixteen. Fella broke your leg so you couldn't follow him. Said the Commanche took you in." Chris waited for Vin's response. When it came, it surprised him. Vin reached out to grab Chris and pull him close. Chris answered by putting his arms around Vin. "Welcome home Vin. I think you musta had a hell of a ride."

M7*M7*M7


	39. Chapter 39

M7*M7*M7

Vin had only been in a travois a couple of times before in his life. He never liked it; he felt too vulnerable, too exposed. This time though, he was too tired and in too much pain to put up much of a fuss. Even now he was fading fast sitting in the chair next to the cold stove in the cabin. If they didn't have that travois ready soon, he was going to fall right asleep right...here...in...this...

The next thing Vin knew, somebody was tapping his arm. "Vin? How're you doing? About ready to go?"

"Chris?" Vin lifted his head from his chest and Larabee came into blurry focus. He was crouched in front of Vin.

"You ready? Nathan's kinda impatient to get you home."

"Chris?" Vin asked again, partly to reassure himself that it _was _Chris, and partly because he had something on his mind.

"Yeah?"

"Stay where I can see you, will you? When we're on the trail? I don't - I -." He didn't want to fall asleep and wake up not knowing where he was or who was with him.

"I'll stay right with you." Chris promised.

M7*M7*M7

_It was close to nine pm when Vin woke up from the anesthetic. Chris saw his eyes blink open and closed a few times before they focused on him as he sat next to the hospital bed. "How're you feeling?" he asked. Same as before, Vin was positioned on his side with pillows and rolled towels. Chris wondered if everything else was the same. _

_"Hey Boss..." came the slow reply. "Been a busy day, hunh?" _

_"Oh, no more than usual I guess...want some water?" _

_Vin nodded and Chris held the plastic cup with the bendy straw so that Vin could take a few sips. "They get him?" Vin asked when he was done. _

_"McGinty? Yeah. He's locked up tight. You're safe now." _

_"Always was." Vin said and smiled. He tried to yawn. "Damn that hurts. Remind me not to try that again." _

_"Vin?" Chris had to know. He knew he should be encouraging Vin to go back to sleep, but he had to know. "What do you remember about what happened?" _

_"You mean today or last night?" _

_"The whole thing." _

_"I don't know..." Vin blinked a few more times to clear his eyes. "Rode out. Got beat up. Got strangled. Got snowbound in a cabin with you. It's blurry. I don't know. Why, what happened?" _

_"You did ride out, and you did get beat up and strangled, they tried to hang you." Chris told him. Vin nodded. "But you also got shot in the back. I found you in an old shack near Murder Creek. You were airlifted here to the hospital for surgery. You spent two days here. You were talking out of your head Vin. Saying you were from the 1800's. JD figured you were just hiding in your Civil War first person, but we got worried - I got worried - that you'd end up back on the Psych Unit the way you were talking. So Nettie let me take you out of the hospital last night, up to my little cabin to see if you'd feel safe enough to come back outta the past..." _

_Chris thought maybe he shouldn't have said so much, he didn't want to risk sending Vin back to the 1800's. But he had to know. Vin watched him as he pondered what Chris had said. He shrugged. _

_"Guess I been lost worse places in my head than snowbound in a cabin with you." He closed his eyes and reached a hand out to Chris. "It's okay. I'm home now." In a minute or less, he had fallen asleep. Chris stared at him, unable to believe that Vin had accepted it just that simply. He'd been lost, now he was home. Now he was the one comforting Chris, instead of the other way around. _

_"I'll see you in the morning Tanner." Chris said. He stood and adjusted the blankets. "Welcome back."_

_  
_M7*M7*M7

When Nathan came into the cabin, Chris was helping Vin get his shirt and jacket back on. "What the hell do you think you're doing on your feet?" Nathan demanded. "I just got done patching you up - for the second time." Vin turned an uninterested look on him.

"I'm tryin t'avoid new-mone-ya in my lungs and emblemisms in my legs, what d'you think I'm doing?" He shared a quick grin with Chris. "Least ways you left my trousers on this time..."

"That's cause they was frozen stuck to your scrawny carcass with all that blood that ain't in your body anymore." Nathan reminded him. "And I only put your undershirt back on so's you wouldn't freeze. Y'fool." Vin just couldn't help grinning. He was home, and Nathan's fretting and fussing was music to his ears. "Anyway, where do you know about pneumonia and embolisms?"

Vin cocked his head. "Seems to me a fella name a'Nathan Jackson told me about 'em once or twice." Nathan didn't seem to believe him.

"When did I ever tell you about them?"

"Well..." Vin gave a fast glance to Chris. "Maybe it wasn't you. Maybe it was just some other fella named Nathan, looked like you, carried on the way you are, acting like somebody took his saddle 'n left him a prickly pear instead. Only he didn't notice until it was too damn late to -" Vin's long-winded explanation came to a halt as Nathan stomped out of the cabin again, muttering something about checking on the travois. Once the door shut, Vin sank onto the bed.

"You okay?" Chris asked.

"Tired as all get-out." Vin rubbed his face. "Think I'll be sleeping a week once I get back into my own bed."

"Or as soon as we get you set in the travois." Chris said. He pulled the chair around and sat down next to the bed. "What do you remember of the past couple days Vin?" The question seemed to take all the breath out of Vin. He swallowed a few times, hoping his throat wouldn't close over like it had at the hospital.

Maybe that had been a vision.

"I was hurt and I was running. McIntyre's nearly killed me. They tried hard enough leastways. I found myself at some deserted old cabin, and then - you were there."

"Then what?"

"You protected me." Vin wondered how long the questioning would go on, and if he'd be able to hedge his way through it. But Chris nodded, and touched the wound on the back of his head.

"That's what I remember too."

M7*M7*M7

The trip back to town passed quickly for Vin. He slept most of the way, protected from the snow and cold by pine branches, bedrolls, and Chris' poncho, dosed up with laudanum, and secure in knowing that Chris was only a horse length behind him.

Once in town though, he fought to stay awake. He wanted to see the town, he wanted to touch it, he wanted to smell it. He wanted to know that he really was home.

"I can walk, let me walk." he groused when they got to Nathan's stairs. "Don't trust y'all to not drop me down them stairs." He pushed back the blankets and poncho and steeled himself to sit up against the pain. He caught the look between Chris and Nathan, Nathan disapproving and Chris overruling him.

"C'mon Vin." Chris said, hooking an arm under Vin's shoulder. "Let us do the work of getting you on your feet at least."

Even with Chris and Nathan lifting him, the pain in his back nearly unbalanced Vin and the ground seemed to shift underneath him.

"Yeah, you can walk." Chris chided him good naturedly. "I gotcha, just hold steady a minute." He kept his arm around Vin. Nathan went up to get his clinic ready, and Buck and JD led the horses away. Around them the town was quiet with early dusk. Everything, the buildings, the people, the sights and sounds and smells were just way Vin remembered them. It felt as welcome and familiar as the arm keeping him upright.

"Never thought I could miss a town the way I missed this one." Vin said.

"Y'only been gone overnight." Chris told him; it was a questioning tone. "Though it _was_ a long night."

"Longest one I ever been through." He looked around the town again before turning to Chris. "Y'get Nettie for me? I need to see Nettie." Chris nodded.

"I'll get her for you."

M7*M7*M7

Nathan stood at the top of the stairs, glaring at Chris and Vin making slow progress, as if daring them to make it all the way to the top. "You pull them stitches out again and I'm gonna put 'em back in with a leather punch." He warned.

"Yeah, like that'd be the _worst_ thing that's ever happened to me." Vin said. "Quitcher bitchin'."

"_What_?" Chris asked.

"What?"

"What'd you just say?"

"I said -." Vin suddenly remembered that he'd heard the _other_ Buck say that particular phrase. " - stop complaining." Chris stared at him a minute, and Vin shook his head. "You helpin' me up these stairs or ain't ya?"

"Yeah, c'mon."

M7*M7*M7

Despite his best efforts, Vin fell asleep in Nathan's bed while he waited for JD to bring Nettie to him. He awoke to lamplight, and Nettie turned away from him, making a cup of tea at the stove. Nathan had helped him clean up and he was dressed, so he pushed himself out of the bed.

"You better *not* be on your feet Vin Tanner." Nettie said without turning around. Vin didn't answer her. He walked up right behind her.

"_Nettie_?" There was desperation in his voice. She turned right around.

"What is it?" She asked, worried. After staring at her hard for what seemed liked forever, Vin grabbed her in a hug and held on. He was trembling.

"It's all right honey, it's all right." She soothed him. "You're safe now. You're home."

M7*M7*M7


	40. Chapter 40

M7*M7*M7

_"Damn that hurt. I didn't think it would hurt that bad." Vin shuffled from the hospital bathroom to the hospital bed. He was dressed in hospital issue pajamas and his own robe and moccasins. _

"_Don't complain to me." Chris said from behind the newspaper he was reading. "You're the one who wanted to take the shower." _

"_Yeah I wanted to take a shower. Didn't think I'd ever get warm again." Vin pushed the blankets aside and began the slow, gingerly process of getting back into bed. "I just didn't think it would hurt that bad." After a moment of trying and no progress, he turned to Chris. "You gonna help me or what?" _

_With an exaggerated sigh Chris set the paper aside and walked over to the bed. "I told you not to get out of that bed in the first place. This is gonna hurt." _

"_Well then put the bed lower. You can put the bed lower. They got a switch down there so the nurses can lower it when they change the bedding." Chris dutifully crouched down to look for the switch. "Do you see it? It's not the one to raise the head of the bed, or the foot, it'll be the one -" Vin was cut off by a glare from Chris. _

"_Will you give me a minute?" Larabee demanded. "Gee whiz. No more Jell-O for you. You get too wound up." _

"_I just feel better." Vin said, very genuinely. "I don't think I've felt this good - ever. And it's even without chemical intervention." _

_Chris lowered the bed, helped Vin back into it, then raised it again. "So let me get this straight." He said, as he pulled the blankets back into place, and then the side railing. "You've been threatened, beaten, strangled, shot, hospitalized, and delusional. You've been operated on - what is it? Three times now? Once for the bullet, twice so far for reconstructive surgery. You're looking at least two more surgeries, months of physical therapy, muscle damage, nerve damage, and you may never have full use of your back again - and you've never been happier?" _

"_Right." Vin answered brightly, then shook his head at Chris' continued confusion. "You don't get it do you? I survived Chris. Maybe I was delusional, but at least I was never that screaming wreck I was after Mom died. Dr. Sykes says I'm okay, I don't need to go back on any medication, or set up any long term counseling. I'm good Chris - I survived. If I can survive this with my sanity intact, I can survive anything." _

"_Have you been that worried about it?" Chris asked. "Your sanity? I didn't realize you were ever worried about that." _

"_Well..." Vin looked down and picked at the blanket. "I guess I didn't let on. Didn't see much sense in talking about what couldn't be helped anyway. I didn't want to worry Nettie, I didn't want you to think I wasn't reliable. But yeah." He looked up at Chris. "Not even the McGintys, I was just plain worried about anything that would come along and suck up my marbles like some Kirby vacuum cleaner run amok. It didn't matter what it was, any little stress made me worry I was going to lose it." _

_He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, then opened them to look out the window. "It runs in the family you know. My Dad was - he - he couldn't take the stress. I never wanted anybody coming in finding me hanging in the staircase. I worked real hard with Dr. Sykes to keep that from happening." _

_Neither man said anything for a minute. Vin didn't turn back, even when Chris gave his shoulder a hard squeeze. _

"_Vin, when you were delusional - even when you were delusional - you said you figured your Mom had something to do with it." Now Vin turned back. _

"_My Mom?" _

"_Yeah, you said - well, 'Old West Vin' said that he figured your Mom probably arranged for the two of you to switch places because you each needed to be healed. 'He' needed to be healed of the bullet in his spine, I guess you needed to be healed of your fear of losing your mind. Like you said Vin - if you could survive this, you can survive anything." He waited a few beats to see if Vin understood his point. _

"_You don't have to be afraid anymore Vin." _

__

M7*M7*M7

Two men made slow progress down the boardwalk. Chris kept to the outside, matching his stride to Vin's slower steps. Nathan had absolutely forbidden him to climb stairs, sit a horse, ride in a wagon, lift anything, carry anything, stay on his feet too long, or even practically dress himself. Vin considered himself lucky he could still wear his hat. But even Nathan had to admit that Vin was doing better than expected, with his insistence that he needed to be on his feet and moving around, even a little bit, throughout the day. He would only say that Nathan Jackson had told him one time or another that staying in bed didn't do a body no good, and when Nathan argued that he never said such a thing, Vin would only shrug and answer him, "Musta been that other Nathan Jackson then."

So now, he and Chris were making their way down to the saloon, to sit out on the porch for awhile and watch the town. Chris waited until Vin was settled into the chair as comfortably as could be, before he went into the saloon to get them each a beer. When the doors swung open again though, Ezra came out.

"Why Mr. Tanner, how delightful to see you out and about. I had feared Mr. Jackson would sequester you until the rivers ran dry."

"Well he tried Ezra. He surely did try. Hey, I forgot - I got something for you." He rummaged in his pocket and drew out a piece of paper. It was crumpled and browned, and looked as though it had been scorched. "I don't know what happened to it. It didn't used to look like this. I met a fella who said might be you could use the information."

Ezra gave him a puzzled look, and delicately unfolded the paper. "Why Mr. Tanner - this purports to be the results of prize fights, horse races, and Presidential elections for the next ten years. Wherever did you get it?"

"Like I said, just a fella I met."

"Just a fella you met." Ezra echoed, not quite believing Vin. "And was he a person one would consider trustworthy?" and Ezra never did understand the almost affectionate smile Vin gave him.

"I'd trust with my life." he said. Ezra took his paper and went back into the saloon. Chris came out with the two glasses of beer and handed one to Vin as he took his own seat.

"What'd you do to Ezra? He looks like he's trying to decide which door has the lion and which door has the pretty girl behind it."

"Nothing." Vin took a sip of his beer. "He's just trying to decide if I'm telling all of the truth, none of the truth, or only some of the truth. It's just a piece of paper I had in my pocket." He put his hand in there again, the way that paper was flaking off, he probably had half of it still left in his pocket in pieces. His fingers touched something else though and he brought it out.

It was the browned and scorched remnant of the picture Chris - the other Chris - had given him. The edges were scorched away, and most of the color had drained out. But it was him and Chris, or the other him and the other Chris, no mistaking it.

Just then Nathan approached them. He didn't look happy, but Vin couldn't figure what he might've done wrong this time.

"What?" he asked, before Nathan had the chance to say anything. "I walked from the boarding house to here, no stairs, no horses, no carrying nothing. I can't wear my gun belt 'cause it hurts too much. I'm not using that sissy cane you keep trying to foist on me. Y'said it was all right if I was to have liquor, and if I eat anything more I'll choke. So what are you gonna fuss about now?"

"It ain't what you done, it's what I am to keep you from doing." Nathan said.

"Well...I told Miss Nettie I'd have to wait to ride out to her place again..." Vin said guiltily. The reason Nathan had added wagon rides and buggy rides to his list of forbidden activities was because Vin had finagled a buggy ride out of Mary to go visiting Miss Nettie, so she didn't have to spend all her time in town. But despite Nathan's threats, Vin was trying to figure out a way of getting Chris to take him out there again.

"What'd he do this time Nathan?" Buck asked, coming up behind Nathan. JD and Josiah were with him, and Ezra came back outside to join them.

"I'm just trying to tell this ornery cuss that I got a doctor coming in on the noon stage to have a look at him. And he _will_ get undressed and he _will_ let the doctor look at his back and test all his limbs. This doctor know all about spines and back injuries and is interrupting a trip out to San Francisco just to stop here, so you WILL cooperate."

"Ah, now Nathan." Vin began to protest. It was bad enough having Nathan poking and prodding and making him shed his clothes. In front of a stranger it was just going to be hell.

"You're outnumbered Pard." Chris said, before Vin could even appeal to him.

"I saved your life." Vin pointed out. Chris shrugged.

"And I'm trying to return the favor."

"You never know Vin." JD said, trying to be helpful. "Maybe you'll get wrote up in one a'those medical books they got. I saw one of those back East."

"And think of it this way son," Josiah said. "If everything is okay and you're healing fine, it won't take long. But if something is wrong, you'd rather find out about it, wouldn't you?"

Vin grumbled, but wouldn't agree. Down the long street, they could hear the stage pulling in. "Figures you'd wait to tell me when it's too late to run. But all right, I'll let the doctor have a look. But one chance is all he gets."

"Well, that's something else I need to tell you Vin." Nathan said, and he seemed to have a grin on his face. "It ain't a 'he', it's a 'she'."

"What?" more than one voice demanded, Vin especially.

"She's a woman." Nathan repeated. "Coming out from New York to work with her uncle in California. She got one of the wires I sent when you were first shot, and she offered to stop here on her way west."

A dozen arguments came to Vin all at once, and just as he was about to voice the entire list, Nathan added one more detail:

"Her name is Rebecca Clemens."

"Becky?" Vin asked, startled. Six heads turn to him, even more surprised.

"_Becky_?" They all echoed. Buck asked, "You know her?"

"Well..." But Vin was saved from trying to figure out how to answer that when a lady approached them. She was tall, comely, and well dressed.

"Good afternoon gentleman." She began. "The stage coach driver pointed you out as the men I should be talking to. I'm Dr. Clemens. Which one of you is Vin Tanner?"

Five men answered, _"I am."_ and none of them Vin. He looked down at the photograph in his hand, as Nathan introduced himself to the doctor.

"What have you got there?" Chris asked, and Vin showed him. He wondered what Chris' reaction would be. He took it into his hand and stared at it a long time.

"So..." Chris said on a long breath. "His folks, are they good people? Will they take of him?"

"Yeah, they're real good people Chris. They'll take care of him."

M7*M7*M7


	41. FINALE

M7*M7*M7

_Chris walked into Vin's little apartment to find him laying on the couch, with a heating pad on his back. Around him, the television was on, the lights were on, the heat was cranked higher than Vin ever used to keep it, he had a bag of microwave popcorn on the coffee table, and an electric blanket covered him up to the heating pad. His hair was wet from a long hot shower. _

"_You know I just got a call from the DPW." Chris said. "There's a major power drain in the county, and it's been traced back to here." _

"_Ha. Ha. Ha." Vin said each syllable separately. "I didn't think I'd ever get warm again." _

"_This is only your first night home Vin. Think you could've left some electrical appliances unused until tomorrow?" _

"_Tomorrow I start all over again." _

_Chris pushed the microwave popcorn aside and sat on the coffee table. Vin flicked the remote and turned the volume down on the TV. _

"_So, how're you doing?" Chris asked. _

"_I'm okay." Vin turned onto his side a little. He winced from the pain. "Well, except for that. How're you?" _

"_Looking forward to catching up on my sleep. I was checking in on you before I go collapse. You need anything? You all set here?" _

"_Yeah, I'm fine. I'll probably just fall asleep on the couch. I don't think I want to move anyway anymore tonight." _

"_Don't sleep with the heating pad still on." Chris said. _

"_Yes Aunt Nettie." Vin mocked him. _

"_Wise guy." Chris stood up to go. But Vin asked: _

"_Chris, when I was delusional, did I tell you about the bat? That night I got bit by the bat?" _

"_No, we didn't talk about it - why?" _

"_I was just wondering. Wondering how much of what I told 'Old West' Chris I actually told you. Although it seems like what I thought I was telling you, you were actually telling me." Vin got re-situated on the pillows, laying his head on his crossed arms. "You kept asking me where the bullet hole was in my back, and where the scar was on my arm. I had no idea what you were talking about. I guess I just didn't want to believe I'd been shot." _

"_Well, we've got a long winter in front of us to pick through the details I guess." Chris said. "Let's start off by both getting some sleep. Call if you need anything. I'll check on you in the morning." _

"_Okay." _

_Just at the front door to the apartment, Chris stopped. "Anyway, how did you get that scar on your arm?" he asked. Vin shot him a look. _

"_I haven't got a scar on my arm." He pushed himself up again, and showed Chris his arm. "You seemed pretty determined that I had one, but – see? No scar." _

"_Hunh." Chris shook his head. No scar. There was no scar on Vin's arm, when Chris knew he'd seen one there at the hospital. "Hunh." He repeated. "Go figure… Well, I'll see you in the morning." _

"_Night." _

_Chris left, and shut the door behind, making sure it was locked. Well, maybe he hadn't seen a scar on Vin's arm? He took a good knock on the head himself at the cabin. Maybe though – no that wasn't possible. _

"_Getting' old and silly Larabee." Chris chided himself. "No such thing as time travel." He stopped in the yard and looked back at Vin's apartment. _

_Was there? _

THE END!


End file.
